climb too high - part 3 (standard:drama, 3746 words) [3/4] show all parts
Author: snyrt	Added: Dec 27 2001	Views/Reads: 2448/1819	Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
the third part of a bit of auto-fiction about a sociopath who takes a wrong turn into drugs after seeking treatment.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

"Okay, Henry," says Dr. Ericson, "we're going to take a little picture
of your stomach wall and find out exactly what's wrong with it." 

"Okeydoke.  Do what you've got to do.  I'd really like to get out of
here and go back home." 

The arm is lowered until it is just a few inches away from my abdomen. 
Dr. Ericson puts a lead sheet over my crotch and thighs.  He puts 
another one at the top of my chest. 

I see the doctor and Sheila walk out of the room to a little shielded
area where they can watch through protective glass.  I always feel a 
little uneasy when there's a machine about to shoot me with rays and 
everybody else runs away.  I see Dr. Ericson flip a switch.  The 
machine grunts and growls for a few moments, then I hear a click.  Dr. 
Ericson and Sheila come back in the room, remove the lead sheets and 
take the machine out of the room.  I just sit there on the bed.  Sheila 
takes some film out of the machine and goes away, I guess she's going 
to develop it.  Dr. Ericson takes out a little notepad and begins 
writing some things down.  I just sit on the bed and stare at the 
ceiling.  I begin to doze off.  Sheila walks to the door but doesn't 
enter. 

"Dr. Ericson, could you come take a look at this, please?"  Wow, that's
exactly what I want to hear (sarcasm).  I had to point out the sarcasm 
because I know that I'm really bad at detecting it and I didn't want 
you to be just as confused.  I'm somewhat worried that the x-ray is 
weird. 

What if the x-ray shows something that can't be treated?  What if the
x-ray shows that I'm about to die?  Well, death would be a relief.  I 
don't really like living in this world.  We're so insignificant here.  
People just  stress out about everything.  Nobody needs to worry.  
Don't worry, be happy.  I don't like having everybody go to hospitals 
and try to live a "normal" life.  I don't like that idea.  I'd rather 
just go through life chilling with friends and passing out a whole lot. 
It gives me time to have some really weird dreams. 

The doctor and Sheila come back in. 

"Henry, can you come into my office, please?" Dr. Ericson says as if he
is the bearer of bad news. 

"Um, sure.  I'll be right there."  Dr. Ericson steps out of the room. 
"Sheila, am I going to be okay?  Is everything okay with the x-ray?  
He's just going to talk about how normal it is, right?" 

"Sheila's eyes are watering.  Everything will - sniff - be okay." 

I step out of the infirmary.  I take a left and walk down the hall with
the nice clicking floor.  I pass my original room.  The lights have 
finally been turned off.  I continue to the lounge.  I see the kitchen 
where Cruel Gruel used to yell at me for wanting salt.  I take a right 
down the administrative hallway.  I continue to the office.  As I enter 
I just head straight for the recliner. 

"So how does it look?" I ask. 

"It's a bit strange.  You know how we told you that you had tears in
your stomach wall?  Well, you don't.  Apparently you just have horrible 
stress from your interactions with people.  That's why you had the 
fainting spell when all those people were around you." 

"So what's that mean?  I'm stuck here again?  I don't think that whole
thing with Danielle really worked out." 

"Actually, we're going for a different plan here.  You know how when you
get into a cold pool, if you just go in a step at a time, you reach a 
certain point where your balls freeze off and you just have to get out 
and it takes a really long time to get back in?" 

"Oh, yeah, totally, been there, done that." 

"Well, here's the deal with it.  When you have to get into that cold
pool, the best way to do it is to get on the diving board and throw 
yourself in headfirst.  Once you're in there, you don't even want to 
get out.  You'll be able to handle it.  You're going to dive head first 
into social interactions.  We think you'll do okay.  Unfortunately, you 
will still have these overwhelming fainting spells.  Are you able to do 
anything as you fall?  Like perhaps just shove a pill in your mouth?" 

"I think I can do it.  Why?" 

"You know those pills we always give you?  They help you out.  I don't
know how they work since I don't actually know what's wrong with you .  
My diagnosis has been disproved by the x-ray.  We're just going to give 
you a lot of those pills and when you're on your way down, just pop one 
in your mouth and call me up as soon as you gain consciousness which 
should be in a few seconds." 

"That sounds like a plan.  So are you just gonna hand me a bunch of
pills and let me go home right now?" 

"Yep, here are the pills, just keep them in this little baggie.  It's
easy enough to open that you'll be able to get the pills as soon as you 
get dizzy." 

"Cool cool.  Thanks for all you've done.  I hope I don't have to come
back here for a while." 

"So do I, so do I." 

*	*	* 

Back at home.  Back in my old bed.  Oh, this is great.  It is so warm. 
It is so soft.  It's absolute bliss. 

6:00.  Time to get up.  Shave, grab a bite, brush my teeth, hop in the
car.  I get to school.  I don't try to go see friends.  That water 
might be a little too cold.  I wait on my own in my car with some music 
playing.  I look down at the schedule.  Algebra, History, English, Gym, 
Chemistry, Computer Science, Psychology.  Oh wow, psychology, what a 
fitting class. 

7:15.  I exit the car and meander in the door of the main building.  I
proceed upstairs to Algebra.  I hate math.  I have such a bad 
background in math.  For the first five years of schooling I learned it 
in Spanish.  I'm still learning some of the terms.  Into class.  I grab 
a seat near the back.  I really don't want to call any attention to 
myself.  I'll have to keep a low profile.  7:25.  The bell rings.  Most 
people are already here in the room.  Those who are late are sprinting 
through the door and grabbing the first seats they can find.  The 
teacher is Mrs. Conrad.  She notices me. 

"Um, excuse me, yes, you.  Can you come up here for a second please?"  I
get up out of my seat, feeling all eyes on me.  There are some people 
who know me who are just amazed to see me again.  "Do you have your 
schedule with you?" 

"Yes ma'am.  Here you go," I hand her the small slip of pink paper. 

"Okay, well, welcome to the class."  She picks up a rather thick
rainbow-colored book and hands it to me.  "Here's the textbook.  We're 
on chapter six right now.  You'll need to complete the review sections 
for the previous five chapters so that I know you understand them.  If 
you need help come to me."  She turns to the class.  "Class, we have a 
new student.  This is Henry Rodriguez.  Please offer him a warm 
welcome." 

All eyes are on me.  Lightheaded.  The pocket.  Grab the pill.  There's
the baggie.  The top is open just enough.  Everything becomes a blur.  
People spin and look at me in horror.  I begin to fall, I get my hand 
out of my pocket.  The pill is there.  As I fall on my face I manage to 
put my hand in front of my mouth on the ground.  It makes it just in 
time.  The pill pops in my mouth right as I lose consciousness.  I 
swallow with my last once of energy.  I'm fine.  I stand back up. 

"Excuse me, but I have to go make a phone call."  The class is totally
baffled.  Some think it was a joke.  Some thought that I'd almost died. 
 I'm sure that this would be the talk of the school.  I'd be the "weird 
guy that passed out in front of the class."  I head out the door 
towards the pay phone outside the building.  I reach out to dial Dr. 
Ericson.  Wait, I don't know his number.  I've never called him.  Man, 
what am I going to do.  I hop in my car and rush home.  I'm sure the 
number is posted somewhere by the phone.  I always feel rebellious when 
I leave school during the day.  I get home.  Through the door.  
Straight to the phone.  There's his card hanging on the wall.  I dial.  
It rings 3 times. 

"Dr. Ericson, how can I help you?" 

"Hi, Dr. Ericson, it's Henry." 

"Did you have another fainting spell." 

"Yes, my teacher made me go to the front of the class and then
introduced me.  It was a little too much.  I managed to get the pill in 
my mouth just in time.  I just hit the ground and got back up, then I 
told the teacher I had to go make a call." 

"Are you at school right now?" 

"No, I realized I didn't know your number so I came home to get it." 

"Are you going back to school?" 

"Yes, I am, as soon as I'm done talking to you and I can stop by
7-Eleven and fill my my X-treme gulp." 

"Okay, well, be careful.  I don't want you to faint again today." 

"Oh, I'll be careful, but I'll probably faint.  There will be a lot of
attention on me today." 

"Just be careful and keep a low profile.  Try to only talk to your
closest friends right now.  The pool seems a bit too cold right now." 

"Right, I'll try.  Thanks.  The pills were life savers, literally." 

"You're welcome, and we'll keep trying to beat the need for them." 

"Yes, that's my main goal right now.  I'm gonna get going now.  I hope I
don't have to talk to you anymore today." 

"Don't bother calling me anymore when it happens.  We've found that the
pills work.  Just call me if it's especially bad." 

"Okay.  Bye." 

"Bye." 

*	*	* 

I hop in my car, put on some Rufus Wainwright, and drive up to 7-Eleven.
 I get out, grab my X-treme gulp.  Go to the back corner, get myself 52 
ounces of Dr. Pepper.  I can't disgrace my X-treme gulp with any lesser 
beverage.  I walk up to the counter.  I plop down my 82 cents and walk 
out the door. 

I get to school right as lunch is beginning.  I can't deal with that
deluge of students.  I go sit on the curb and nurse my gulp.  I reflect 
on what I've been through and what is still to come. 

I've gone through isolation in the hospital.  I got a little too used to
it.  I faint under pressure of social interaction.  Those stupid people 
at the hospital really didn't help much.  All they did was screw me up 
even more.  I have to go to class after this.  I have to deal with all 
the people.  I can't walk in.  I'll freeze my balls off.  I'm going to 
dive into the class head on.  I'm going to hold my head up high; walk 
in boldly.  The people will stare at me and I won't take note.  I will 
be prepared.  I'll beat this today.  I won't faint next class. 

I've gotten back in time for chemistry.  I walk into the room right as
everyone is seated.  I walk straight to the teacher, Mrs. Beloozerov.  
I hand my schedule to her.  She nods. 

"Take a seat.  Stay after class and I will get you all your materials." 
I turn towards the class.  Shit.  Dizzy, spinning, stumble, pill, 
floor. 

I totally look like an ass when this happens.  Everybody thinks I'm a
freak.  I am a freak in a sense, but I'm tired of all this shit 
happening.  I can't stand this.  Every time I have to talk to someone I 
just fall on the floor.  I'm not going to jump into the pool anymore. 

"Are you okay, Henry?" asked Mrs. Beloozerov. 

"I'll be fine.  I just need to go sit down.  Please, don't make a big
deal out of any of it."  People continue to stare at me as I make my 
way to a seat in the back.  I won't talk anymore.  I just take out a 
notebook and begin taking notes. 

The bell rings.  There is a rush of people and a giant wave of noise in
the hall.  I wait for most of my class to get out the door.  I don't 
even bother to stay behind to talk to Mrs. Beloozerov.  I have to go 
deal with the reality of people.  I tilt my head to the ground.  I hug 
the lockers as I hurry through the halls.  I try to get to Computer 
Science as quickly as possible.  I want to get to the class and just 
take a seat so I don't have to talk to anyone.  I climb the stairs and 
rush to the class.  I throw my schedule on the teacher's desk and just 
go the back of the class and put my head down. 

I can't go through the rest of high school like this.  I've become the
weird anti-social nerd that I used to just look at in amazement.  I 
always felt sorry for him.  He never stopped to speak to a couple of 
friends.  He just ran to class.  I at least used to talk to friends 
from time to time.  I'll talk to some people after school.  I'll talk 
to some people in a free environment. 

The bell rings, the teacher reads my schedule and doesn't say anything. 
The class moves into the computer lab. 

"Henry, grab the assignment up here and go into the lab.  I'll be over
to help you in a few minutes."  I get up and grab the assignment.  I 
move to the only free computer.  I hope that nobody will talk to me. 

"That's the weird kid that faints," I hear someone whisper to the boy
next to him 

"I heard he can't take talking to people.  It like kills him or
something.  You wanna screw with him?" the second boy asks 

"Yeah, totally.  What's his name?" 

"Henry." 

"Hey Henry!  Come over here for a second."  I know their game already. 
I don't bother.  "Henry, are you deaf?  HEY!  I'M TALKING TO YOU!" 

"Hey man, leave me alone.  Don't you have anything better to do than
mess with the new guy?" I retort. 

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?  YOU THINK YOU CAN DISRESPECT ME?  DO YOU KNOW
WHO I AM?" 

"Yeah I know who you are.  You're a shit stain on the underwear of
humanity, now leave me alone."  I've been bold.  I've stood up to the 
harshest of social interactions, the bully.  The bully gets up and 
heads to me.  He stands next to me. 

"You wanna go?  You think you can take me?"  I don't reply.  He pushes
me.  I don't reply.  I take the pain.  He punches me in the arm.  I 
stand up.  He winds up to take a punch at my stomach.  I see him start. 
 I flex my abs and turn a little so as to deflect the punch.  It works. 
 I feel nothing from the punch.  He winds up again.  This time he's not 
going for the stomach, he's going for the face.  I stand there, I watch 
it coming.  I don't flinch, I do nothing.  I simply hold my head there. 
 I feel the fist connect with my cheekbone.  Everybody in the room 
gasps.  They don't know me so they don't know how I'm going to react.  
My adrenaline begins to pump.  He looks amazed that I haven't fallen or 
started to flinch.  I am still looking him straight in the eyes.  I'm 
staring him down.  He realizes that a punch won't get me.  He lifts his 
leg.  He kicks me in the stomach.  I still don't move.  He doesn't 
understand.  I feel a surge of rage.  My right arm moves back.  It 
braces.  My chest and my triceps, along with about every other muscle 
that would help the job tighten.  My fist flies forward.  The power 
behind it is absolutely amazing.  I connect straight in his face, right 
around his nose.  There are two hits from that. Me hitting him, and him 
hitting the ground.  He's down for the count.  That one hit knocked him 
out cold.  After that surge, the interaction hits me.  I'm lightheaded. 
 I'm still mostly coherent.  I begin to stumble right as I get the pill 
in my mouth.  I recover quickly. 

"Henry, please take a seat," says the teacher.  She's been watching the
whole time.  I thought that I would've gotten in quite a bit of trouble 
for that.  I guess since she saw what happened she was just going to 
take it out on the bully. 

The bell rings.  The class rushes out.  I become scared by all the
people again.  I grab my books and just rush out of the classroom.  
Again, I hug the lockers and keep my eyes to the floor.  I rush to 
psychology.  What a class this will be.  I run into class, drop my 
schedule on the teacher's desk, run to the back and put my head down 
again. 

How did I do that?  How did I pull that off?  I totally kicked his ass. 
That was really cool.  I'm starting to deal with this.  I mean, I 
almost fell again, but I popped the pill in time. 

The teacher shakes my shoulder. 

"Why did you just throw this on my desk and run to the back of the
class?" he demands in a very irritated manner. 

"Sociopath," I reply. 

"Oh."  He walks away.  Wow, I'm glad he's a psychology teacher and
understands it. 

I keep my head down for the rest of class.  I just begin to doze off.  I
wake up to the teacher saying: 

"Have a great weekend."  Wow, I'd forgotten that it was Friday.  I never
really kept track of days at the hospital and I never checked the day 
when I got home.


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