When Knights were Bold (standard:fantasy, 1480 words)
Author: moya	Added: May 16 2002	Views/Reads: 3316/2205	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
The beautiful princess waits for her knight to rescue her from the dragon - but what if the wrong knight turns up? 1st in Dragontails series.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

forward, raising his sword.  The dragon retreated. 

"You keep off," it cried, "or I'll tell me mam! Nobody said nothing
about getting hurt, or I wouldn't have come." 

The princess jumped out from behind her rock. “Leave it alone,” she
cried. “Poor little thing!” 

Sir Eustace stared from one to the other. "Am I missing something here?"
he said. 

* * * 

"Now let me get this straight," said Sir Eustace.  They were sitting on
the grass sharing one of a couple of pork pies from Sir Brian's 
saddlebag. He had given the other to the dragon to keep it quiet. A few 
wisps of smoke drifted up from behind the rocks.  "You and Sir Kevin 
had an arrangement with this dragon." 

"Yes. I did try to tell you - " 

"All right, I said I was sorry! Anyway, you would get to marry Sir
Kevin, but what was the dragon getting out of it?" 

"I was going to give him my rabbits. I'm bored with them, and I've got
far too many, they keep escaping and eating all the cabbages. But now 
it's all gone wrong, and I'll have to marry you instead.!" 

"What's this Kevin got that I haven't?" enquired Sir Eustace. 

"He's tall and handsome and writes poetry and plays admirably - " 

"Oh yes?" 

" - upon the lute," she finished firmly. 

"Well, I'm sure we can sort something out. Maybe if I just took the half
kingdom. Sir Kevin can have you and welcome. Would your father buy it?" 


"He might . . . " 

They watched as a disconsolate figure mounted the hill. His once proud
plume drooped like a wilted lettuce, and his joints squeaked. He 
reached them at last and sat down with a clang. 

"I'd get some oil on that lot," advised Sir Eustace, "before you rust
solid. Sorry we've finished the pork pies. There's some pickled onions 
left if you like." 

Sir Kevin removed his helmet. The princess leapt up and flung her arms
round his neck. 

"Darling!" she cried. "I thought all was lost, but nice Sir Eustace say
you can have me as long as he gets to keep half the kingdom. So we can 
be married after all." 

"Hang on," said Sir Kevin. "If we don't get half the kingdom, what are
we supposed to live on?" 

"Who cares, when we've got each other? We'll have a little cottage, with
roses round the door." 

"Well, I'm not living next door to a load of peasants," declared Sir
Kevin. "If we don't get the kingdom, we'll have to stay with Mother." 

"I'm not living with your mother!" 

"Now I know you don't exactly hit it off - " 

"Hit it off! She hates me!" 

Sir Eustace wandered round the rock to where the dragon was lying. 
"Haven't seen a dragon round here in years." he said. 

"Not surprised," said the dragon. "We've been hunted to extinction,
nearly. Practically an endangered species. All the big ones are gone, 
only tiddlers like me left. There's plenty of food to go round now. We 
don't need to come here ravaging." 

"Yes, the dragon slaying business has gone down the plughole," agreed
Sir Eustace. "The last job I had was killing an escaped pig. It's 
demeaning. And then they wouldn't pay the full whack. Said I hadn't 
left it in an edible condition! What brought you here, then? 

"They dared me. My big brothers," said the dragon. "Said I'd never have
the nerve to eat a princess. Not that I was going to, mind. She looks a 
bit indigestible." 

"Mmm. I don't much like the look of her either. Promising to feed her
rabbits to a dragon. What if she got bored with me?" 

"I was going to take a bit of her dress back, dipped in rabbit's blood.
Do you think she might - ? 

Sir Eustace peered round the rock. The princess was lying on the ground,
screaming and drumming her heels. 

"Doesn't look the best moment to ask. I don't rate my chances of getting
my hands on half the kingdom very high, either." 

"They'll all laugh at me when I get back," mourned the dragon. A large
steaming tear rolled down his nose. 

"I say," said Sir Eustace. "I've had an idea. You don't want to go home,
and I've pretty well run out of dragons to fight. This could be a 
really good business opportunity for both of us.” 

"What do you mean?" 

"I suggest we go into partnership. After all, if Sir Kevin could pretend
to kill you, why can't I? We find a likely village - that pig one would 
do for a start. You do a spot of ravaging -" 

"Ooh, can I? I like that bit, it's fun." 

" - nothing to drastic. Then I show up, chase you off and collect the
fee." 

The dragon hesitated. "You wouldn't really kill me?" 

"Of course not. Knight's honour. Anyway, I'll need you for the next
stop, won't I? We'll just find a secluded spot, tear the grass up a 
bit, scatter some pig's blood about . . . " 

"But will they believe you? With no body?" 

"What? Mere peasants doubt the word of a knight? They wouldn't dare!
It'll be a doddle. What do you say?" 

"All right then, you're on," said the dragon. "When do we start?" 

"No time like the present. I'll just get my horse." 

The princess and Sir Kevin paused momentarily in their shouting match as
a snatch of song floated by them on the breeze. 

"In days of old, when knights were bold, And women weren't invented,"
sang Sir Eustace, "They all drilled holes in telegraph poles . . . " 

"What's a telegraph pole?" asked the dragon. Their voices faded away
down the hill. 


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