Untitled (standard:drama, 2346 words)
Author: Rebecca	Added: Jan 27 2003	Views/Reads: 3096/2243	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Homeless teenagers in the 80's.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

For once in my life I thanked God for being alive.  Coming down was 
awful!  I slit up my wrists so bad one time that I had to go to the 
emergency room.  Now I always make sure that I have enough money for 
more later.  Some people would be so quick to judge me for the things I 
do, but the simple fact is I'm just trying to survive this superficial 
and unhappy world. I never thought anything I did could hurt me.  In my 
eyes, I was invincible.  I found out that I was wrong at one of Frank 
and Heidi's parties.  They lived in an abandoned warehouse that they 
decked out.  Basically it was just a drug and party house.  I got there 
around 8pm and already the place was packed.  “Tania!  God, I thought 
you'd never show up!” Heidi yelled over the music.  She handed me a 
beer. “Drink up!”  I wasn't a fan of alcohol because it tasted so foul, 
but I also loved the feeling of being drunk.  It made me the person I 
always wanted to be, confident and outgoing.  After a couple more beers 
and a few shots I finally got the nerve to walk over to the hot guy I'd 
been eyeing all night.  “Hi,” he said smiling sly.  We talked for a 
while and everything was going well, but then out of nowhere he started 
to become pushy.  “Ya know it's really loud down here.  Why don't we go 
upstairs and get to know each other a little better?” “No, I'm fine 
down here.”  He grabbed my arm, squeezing it hard, “Here you are 
leading me on...” “Leading you on?  How am I leading you on?  We were 
just talking!” “Look at the way you're dressed!”  I tried to pull free 
from his grasp and scratched his arm.  He slapped me across the face 
and I fell to the floor.  The room was spinning and all I could see was 
Frank walk over and punch him in the face.  Then the room went black. I 
woke up and I didn't know where I was or what had happened.  Then I saw 
Frank on a chair next to me.  I was in his room, on his bed.  “You 
passed out so I took you up here.  You've been out for almost an hour.” 
 I stared at him blankly.  I still couldn't remember what happened.  
“James hit you.  You don't remember?” “No, I don't.  But thanks to you 
I'm okay,” I said flirtatiously.  I don't know why I did this.  I just 
needed someone in my life and he was the one.  He leaned close to me 
and we kissed.  I was sure it was wrong because Heidi was my friend, 
but it just felt so right.   Before I knew it we were having sex.  If 
it was so wrong then why was it so good?  At that moment I felt like I 
had connected with someone like never before.  Afterwards, while Frank 
was taking a shower, I got dressed and left without saying a word.  I 
sat in my motel room for two days all alone.  I didn't shower or change 
clothes, and I barely ate.  Early in the morning on the third day I was 
watching infomercials when I heard a knock at the door.  “Come in,” I 
yelled, too lazy to get out of bed.  Frank walked in the room.  He 
looked worried, but I didn't care.  “Get out of bed!” he said 
irritably, “This is no big deal!  You're blowing it way out of 
proportion!”  I ignored him.  He sat down next to me on the bed and it 
reminded me of that night.  I moved away from him. “Look, I'm sorry, 
but you can't be mad at me.  You had just as much to do with this as 
me.” “I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the situation.”  I sat up, “I just 
don't know what to do.  This sucks!” “I know it does, but I brought 
something to make it all better.”  He smiled as he pulled out a little 
baggie filled at the bottom with white powder.  “It's crack-cocaine.  I 
guess this is some new stuff.  I thought it'd cheer you up.”  I only 
did that stuff four or five times and before I knew it I couldn't stand 
to be without it.  That was definitely more addictive than even heroin. 
 I was also getting really sick.  I was pale and thin and my whole body 
ached.  I was so tired all the time that I barely got up for work.  At 
night I'd wake up freezing cold, but my whole body would be soaked in 
sweat.  Frank and Heidi came to visit me almost every day, bringing me 
all the dope I could snort up my pretty little nose.  Money was running 
short and before I knew it I had no more money to keep the motel room. 
I was forced to move in with Heidi and Frank.  I know you're probably 
thinking, well they're my friends so why wouldn't it be cool to live 
with them.  I felt that I was burdening them.  Here they were, working 
their butts off and I just lay around the place.  Finally, Heidi 
dragged me out of bed and took me to see a doctor.  He said it could be 
that I was pregnant and the drugs were hurting the baby, so he ran some 
tests and told me to come back in a week.  The week went by slowly.  I 
was feeling a bit better, out of bed once in awhile, and actually 
holding down food.  Soon enough the time came to see Dr. Oden.  I 
wasn't as scared as I'd been before because I looked and felt pretty 
good.  “Tania, the doctor can see you now,” the nurse said, and I 
walked into the room.  A chill suddenly ran up my spine like ice.  
Right then I knew something was wrong.  “Tania,” the doctor spoke 
calmly, “I ran all the tests possible and some even twice and I have 
your diagnosis.”  I looked at him waiting for him to tell me but he 
just stared at the floor.  “Tell me doc., it can't be that bad.” “Yes 
darling, but I'm afraid it is,” he paused like he was collecting his 
thoughts, and then he continued, “You have AIDS, and advanced stage of 
HIV.”  I almost passed out right there.  I'd heard about AIDS before.  
I heard mostly of people suffering and dying.  “We don't know that much 
about this but we do know that it's deadly... and incurable.  Most 
people with this disease die within the first 6months to year of 
diagnosis.”  I didn't say anything; I just did the only thing I knew to 
do.  I stood up and walked out.  I could hear the doctor calling me to 
come back, but I just kept on walking.  I pulled out a quarter and 
dialed the vaguely familiar number on the payphone outside the 
hospital.  A woman answered, she sounded old and worn out.  “Mom,” I 
said, “It's me, Tania.”  She started crying.  I told her some of the 
things going on and she cried even harder.  She said she would send 
money Western Union and I could come home.  I was finally going back 
home!  I walked around all night and then caught the train in the 
morning.  I didn't even say goodbye to Frank and Heidi or pick up my 
things.  Home was better than it ever was.  I found out that dad killed 
himself.  I wasn't sure if I was actually bothered too much by that 
though.  I was getting worse but I'd also never been happier.  Mom 
brought a glass of water to my bed and gave me a kiss goodnight.  She 
told me that she missed me very much and she loved me.  I felt some 
sort of closure.  I was finally at peace.  Then I closed my eyes for 
the very last time. 


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