Sweet Recollections (Part I) (standard:romance, 7441 words)
Author: arunovia	Added: May 10 2003	Views/Reads: 3310/2448	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
If all my feelings are true, then by some miracle she will definitely come across this page one day in her life. And when it happens I will feel happy that she knew what I felt about her. And with that my whole life will gets completed .............

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

(as he always used to ) for losing the recorded audio cassettes. Then 
we moved to our college. It's already 9pm night. Since there were girls 
inside the bus, we stopped the bus outside the college, near the 
entrance gate. All the hostlers (boys) were already assembled there. 
But as expected all the other branch hostlers too were there to give us 
a warm 'sendoff'. Most of them were only with a Bermudas, some with 
drums and making those unbearable noise. 

  When some of the other class students were trying to get in, we
thought it's time to get out soon, as some of them were drunken. So 
first we closed all the windows and rushed our class students to get 
in. Then we moved to the Ladies Hostel. LH was situated outside the 
college campus. Since boys aren't allowed inside LH, we stopped 
outside. In the same day Electronics and Communication, Electrical and 
Electronics students also leaving for a tour. I belong to Computer 
Science branch. While we waited outside LH, buses of other two branches 
also joined us. That was a fine get together. All of us shouted like a 
hell, and fired crackers to celebrate the moment. Then all of us 
started our journey. 

  Harish borrowed an mp3 player from his relation for the tour. We had
recorded few mp3 CDs already, specifically for tour. We also collected 
some VCDs. But unfortunately the video display didn't work properly. So 
we decided to adjust with mp3 CDs and audio cassettes. 

  Our class never got good interaction. Girls won't speak with boys. Of
course there are some exceptions, certain boys will normally seen 
amidst 4 or 5 girls. But other than that, there are many persons 
(including me!) who hadn't even talked a single word to some girls in 
the last 3 years of college life. So initially the tour moved with 
little bit boring. Girls in girls seat and boys in boys seat intact. 

  As time moved on everybody started to fell asleep after a little bit
of chatting. Mostly I won't sleep during travel times, especially in 
night times. I used to enjoy the romantic, pleasant mood that the night 
brings with it. Under moonlight, I will enjoy viewing the passing trees 
and vehicles listening to some trance and melodies in my favorite 
walkman. Mostly I will take front seats, near the driver, during 
traveling. Tour was not an exception. I don't know how long had been 
gone. When I looked inside after sometime, everybody was buzzing except 
Muthu, Kayalvizhi (better replace zh by l while pronouncing). 

  Kayalvizhi was my friend in college days. Since I was busy with the
tour arrangements, I was never able to say even a 'Hi' to her. She 
seated at the back of the bus, while Muthu near the front of the bus. I 
just moved to Kayalvizhi passing Muthu. She was just watching outside 
and seem like she didn't care me, as usual. Kayal just saw Muthu and 
then me and then smiled. I knew what she was thinking and I also 
smiled. I aksed kayal whether she would like to hear walkman. She said 
no as she will fall asleep soon. Then after few minutes I walked once 
again to the front of the bus. My heart desired to go to Muthu and 
speak to her. If I do that, then that would be the bravest thing that I 
had done in my life so far. I just walked away, as usual. 

  Muthu covered her head with a scarf and tied a knot which added
something to her charming face. She lie her head against the windows, 
closed her eyes and started to sleep. I just sit in front watching her 
face for few minutes. I don't know why I did this. Relevantly the word 
Sleeping Beauty came into my mind. I wondered what she might be 
dreaming or thinking right now. Whatever it may be, but I knew not 
about me. If someone wakes up I feared what they might think about me 
staring at her. So I turned aside. But still her face was framed inside 
me. 

  ----------------------------------------
                                                                     

The day was 24.3.2000. Still I don't realize what I am up to. I once
again took a look on the small letter that was in my table. I had taken 
a half-day leave to prepare my letter, precisely love letter. I don't 
know whether I am going to give it to her today. I took that letter and 
rushed to college in my bi-cycle to attend my afternoon classes. I 
showed the letter to Aravind and Harish. Durgesh was not closer to me 
at that time. So I didn't show it to him. Though I had written it 
boldly, I am not bold enough to face her with that letter. I thought I 
would better forget the idea of giving a letter. 

  All the periods were over and everyone started to leave. Aravind
pushed me to hand-over the letter to her. But I am in a dilemma. She 
started to leave with her friend in her two-wheeler. When she crossed 
the Administrative Block she parked the two-wheeler outside and walked 
inside the building. Vinodh who was a closer friend to Aravind at that 
time came by. He stopped and asked  him why he was waiting. Aravind 
showed him the letter. As soon as he realized what was going on, he 
said 'For God sake, leave me' and rushed out. He never liked her and he 
never liked to interfere in matters like this. 

  Suddenly Aravind did a surprise thing which shocked me. He picked the
letter that I was holding in my hand and ran to her two-wheeler and 
dropped the letter in the front box of her vehicle. He ran back to me 
and asked me to get out soon. I was very much shocked and don't know 
what will happen next. So we ride our bi-cycles faster. After few 
minutes, we saw her two-wheeler crossing us. Don't know whether she had 
noticed the letter in the front box. 

  For the next 3 or 4 days, I was lost in a train of thoughts. Sometimes
I worried what if she complaints about the letter to her dad or HOD. I 
didn't try to see her for the next one or two months. I heard that she 
used to receive many love letters like this and she didn't bother those 
letters much. I felt that I had done something which will satisfy my 
soul, my heart felt contented and satisfied.         After few months 
slowly I realized what I really had for her. It's not love, but a kind 
of fidelity. All that I wished was she should feel happy and 
comfortable. If any of my classmate scolds her or comments her badly, I 
used to argue in her favor. I never liked her to be scolded. I don't 
like her to cry. It's a kind of affection that u will normally show to 
ur pet. Whenever she seems to be upset, I will long to take her in my 
hands, caress her with a gentle touch and take away all her troubles 
and worries. I will do anything to make her happy. 

  ----   

Everywhere it was green and that's the specialty of Kerala. When the sun
started rising slowly one by one started waking up. I didn't sleep the 
whole night. I passed the whole time by watching the driving and 
scenery beauty of mountains and taller trees. The bus has crossed 
inter-state border and we were on our way to capital city of Kerala. We 
stopped on a road-side hotel to have our morning breakfast. I didn't 
eat anything there. I bought some Good-Day biscuits and shared some 
with others. 

  Earlier we had booked a mansion there and after few enquiries we
finally reached that mansion. All of us badly needed a warm shower. So 
we splitted boys and girls into separate rooms and asked everyone to 
make it up fast. 

  Kerala is also famous for another thing - girls. They had 'something'
different from our state girls. I managed to take over a look in the 
nearby rooms where some Kerala girls are staying. They had just now 
taken a shower and after spending few minutes in 'sight seeing' I 
rushed to get my turn in the shower. 

  By the time when all got ready, it started raining and we didn't like
it's arrival at that time. Rain started pouring heavily when all of us 
get into the bus. Both myself and Durgesh started to worry. Because 
next we had planned to go for boating in Cochin harbor and we thought 
it may turn impossible in this heavy downpour. But fortunately, the 
rain has slowed when we reached the harbor. After getting our tickets 
we boarded a boat. Rain was drizzling slightly and it was pleasant to 
go boating at that time. Each had their cameras on hand and all moved 
to the top of the boat. 

  The boat driver advised to stay in balance. Everyone started taking
snaps. Some gave a pose for theirs while some zoomed outside to catch 
the scenery. Both myself, Durgesh and Harish each had their own cameras 
and we decided to use one camera at a time. We took snaps of 
Chandraprabha and Tamilpaavai, just to convince them. Then the boat 
landed in an island, popularly called lover's park. Very calm and 
beautiful place for lovers and couples to spend. There also we stood in 
group and took snaps. All these times I was trying to catch Muthu in 
photo. But she used to stay in groups. 

  After leaving the island the boat moved close to some guest house
which seem to be beautiful. Muthu tried to click a snap. But she lost 
the building as the boat is moving fast. Realizing this I managed to 
take snap. Since I was far end of the boat, the building was at the 
reach of my camera. I don't know whether she noticed this. 

  One of the bad habit that me and Durgesh has is to click whatever we
see attractive. In that way we both used to think the same thing at the 
same time. So our fantasies joined with the hands of the camera and we 
took some thoughtful snaps of water droplets, trees etc... Of course at 
that time there is no clue for us to realize that there is a problem in 
the camera's shutter. It actually never opened all along the tour! We 
came to know this only when we developed our 8 rolls in the photo lab!! 


  Then after boating we decided to have our lunch in a nearby
restaurant. We are selective about this restaurant because they use to 
serve our state's native food. The different between Tamilnadu(our 
state) and kerala's food is that Kerala's food is somewhat bigger in 
size and it will be hard to swallow for Tamilians(us). But we lately 
realized the real meaning of 'nearby'. We actually walked for 40 
minutes to get there. As usual our beloved friends take snaps there 
too. Kudos to those who invented camera. They used to take snaps of 
everything that came across their way. 

  Next we had Athirampalli Falls on our schedule. But I started thinking
about the climatic conditions prevailing. Some travelers in Cochin 
harbor said that it's raining in Athirampalli Falls. I have been to 
that falls in all my school tours and I knew that it's waste to go 
there in a rainy day. But Durgesh and others suggested to go and give 
it a try. So we traveled to that falls. We have to travel 3 hrs over 
the hill. But the rain was pouring heavily that we we had to drive 
slowly. As a result it's almost dark when we reached there. 

  Students were particular about this falls, because that was a famous
suiting spot. Film directors normally prefer this falls for suiting 
song sequence. The falls was very tall in height and massive in it's 
strength. But to our bad luck we were able to hear only the hissing 
sound of the falls and a thick white line in the pitch back darkness. 
Everybody wished to see at least the thick white line because they 
don't wanna waste this long travel. But our staffs didn't allow us to 
step outside especially for girls. After compelling and giving 
guarantee that we will take the responsibility they allowed the girls. 

  So there we were, holding a torch on our hands in front, while others
followed from behind. I asked Saradha (a day scholar) to keep left, as 
there was a steep slope on the left side. She managed to discover this 
and frowned. After few feet we stopped and pointed to a distant white 
line which is actually a stream of water flowing in the falls. Some of 
them were only able to hear the hissing sound. Though they didn't 
notice the white line they managed to tell 'yah I see '. 

  After that we get back to the bus and traveled to Guruvayur. Some
started to play a famous game where one group will sing a song and the 
other group will continue from the last word of the earlier song within 
few seconds. If any group repeats the song which was sung already 
before or unable to sing a song within few seconds, loses points. What 
started between 5 or 6 slowly developed and within minutes all of us 
gathered at the centre of the bus. And obviously one group was boys and 
the other one, girls. 

  We played for more than 2 hrs continuously. Few students including
other states kept away from the play. For the rest it was the most 
happiest moment, the first and last lengthy get-together in our class 
participated by majority of the classmates. Saradha popped in 
frequently with her old songs which ( most of us had never heard 
before) and lend her helping hand to girls. It's surprising for me that 
now I had forget who actually won that game. 

  Most of the time I observed Muthu and her face expressions while
singing a song. I liked to watch the way she picks the songs. Sometimes 
I wondered that girls are no different from boys in enjoying the songs. 
They seem to memorize every single line of the song. Often I and 
Aravind picked a song from yet to release films, such as 'Thulluvathi 
Ilamai' etc.. which will make others including boys to blink as they 
aren't familiar with that song. At those situations we never hesitated 
to take the chance. We will sing whatever we like and no one will know 
whether we are singing correctly. 

  Durgesh will pick songs from 1980s. He usually likes songs of that
kind. Though he is a day scholar, he used to hang in my room and at 
night times, he prefers songs from 1980s when he goes to sleep. The 
whole bus was filled with shouts and arguments. If any one starts a 
song others will pick up and join in the chorus. Though finally 
everyone ended with throat pain, that was the nicest get-together in 
our class. 

  Guruvayur Temple is a worshipping place. Many years back when I was
12, I came here. I remember that visit because I wasn't allowed inside 
that temple because I didn't wear dhoti. There was a rule that every 
gent (and mind it .. only gents) should not cover his upper part of the 
body and wear only dhoti(white cotton cloth) around his waist. 
Unfortunately girls are exempted from this rule. 

  When we reached Guruvayur, it's very late night and it was chilling
outside. Almost all the places in Kerala has a cool climate  because of 
it's geographical location. We had already booked a mansion and so we 
settled there. Girls are left on the staff's responsibility. After that 
we moved to dine out as we felt very hungry. It's almost 12pm. We 
started walking in search for a hotel. Since we are staying very near 
to temple, some hesitated to go for a non-veg hotel. But Durgesh, 
Harish, Aravind, myself and few others don't bother those things. So we 
splitted into two and searched for a hotel. 

  In our eagerness to look for a hotel we forget to keep the route in
mind. After strenuous search, we found our dream hotel. We ordered our 
favorite chicken noodles and some other side dishes and waited for more 
than half hour. Then after finishing the heavy food, we stepped out. 
Just assuming a way, we started walking. Suddenly a thunder strike from 
nowhere, followed by a heavy rain. Good gracious. I don't know why the 
rain keep on banging on us unexpectedly from the morning. 

  We just take a shelter on a side-by shop. But the rain never stopped.
Every time when there was a flash in the sky it appeared as if the sky 
is frowning at us. Already the time is 1am in the morning and it's 
already getting late. We are supposed to get up at 5 am to start our 
next day journey. Some of us have plans to attend the daily pooja in 
the Guruvayur temple, which begins at 4am!.  So none of us wanted to 
waste our precious sleeping time in waiting for the rain to stop. So we 
started to ran without knowing which way to go. After 30 minutes of 
running we realized that we are circling over the same street! 

  It's almost 2am when we reached the hotel. Some others who had gone
for a veg hotel had already returned 1 hr before and they laughed at 
us. There is nothing we could do, except burying our heads under the 
pillow. I asked Durgesh to wake me up, which is the toughest duty on 
earth. 

  ----- 

  9.8.2001 Today was her birthday. I was tensed about what she would
think of me, what she would react if I gave her a birthday present. I 
waited for more than 8 months for this day.   It was few days after her 
birthday in 2000 that I decided to do something different and give it 
to her. I still have the cover of the Cadburys Eclairs chocolate that 
she gave me on her birthday in my wallet. To be prompt she issued the 
chocolates to the whole class and I received one being a part of the 
class. That's all. 

  Those times I was working with GIF animator and Coral Photopaint to
create simple GIF presentations. Most of the times I will do effect 
after effect and finally after hours I will go mad and close without 
saving anything. Creativity blended with patience and enthusiasm 
dominated my night times those days. Suddenly an idea to create a 
presentation for her striked me from nowhere. I don't know whether I am 
going to give it to her or not. But I started my work. 

  I worked day and night, without bothering other responsibilities. If
any idea comes to my mind, I will just sit by and work it out. 
Sometimes I even worked few hours before appearing semester exams. All 
along, I have no idea what I am going to do, once I finish it. I 
created small small presentations using flash and embedding songs here 
and there. I heard that she liked MJ songs very much. I am happy when I 
heard that, because I am an English music freak, especially when it 
comes to beat and trance. The only thing I don't like is heavy metal. 

  For about 10 months I was building those presentations slowly.
Sometimes I lost some files due to unexpected deletions and hard disk 
formats. When her birthday neared I got a final idea of giving her a Cd 
with all the presentations that I had created. Additionally I had added 
a collection of MJ hits and beat songs. Still I had more space for a Cd 
so I also collected some scanned high quality photos comprising 
sceneries, babies, sunrise/sunset etc... 

  Vinodh helped me in writing the Cd. He taught me how to write an
autorun Cd with the use of an autorun.ini file. I never hesitated to 
learn more from Vinodh and he never hesitated to explain things to me. 
That's the specialty of Vinodh. Harish and Aravind showed much interest 
in writing the Cd and they also did their part well. Durgesh who never 
interfered in such matters, just gave a meaningful smile on seeing my 
attempts and helped me to print a label on the Cd. I had created a 
separate label with words 'Packed with bits of affection' and a flower 
picture. 

  So it was ready on 9 August 2001. All my 10 months day and night hard
work was there in the form of a Cd. Both me and Durgesh had a habit of 
giving 2 greeting cards to our classmates on their birthdays (only if 
it comes on weekdays). One, on behalf of me and Durgesh and the other 
one on behalf of our whole class. Usually Durgesh gives the greeting 
card. But on her birthday, I decided that I would give her the card 
along with the Cd.  She issued a milk sweet to the whole class and I 
was disappointed because I cannot preserve it like the Eclairs 
Chocolate cover. 

  I decided to give her the card during lunch hour. I placed the Cd
inside the card. I waited in the verandah while both Harish and Aravind 
were hiding behind the door at the entrance of our computer lab so that 
they could see me from their place. When see crossed the verandah I 
called her. She came to me with lots of doubt and confusion in her 
eyes. I got tensed, but managed to say my first word to her 'Happy 
Birthday'. Actually, that was the second word that I spoke to her in 
the three years of College life. 

  The first word that I spoke to her is also the same 'Happy Birthday'
in her previous birthday. In both occassions she replied with a short 
smile saying 'Thank you'. 

  I was worried whether she would return the Cd. But fortunately nothing
like that happened and the rest of the afternoon and the following days 
passed by smoothly. I didn't even expect her comment on that Cd. In 
fact I don't even bother whether she actually viewed it or dumped it in 
the trash. All that made me happy is that she accepted my present in 
one way or the other. The thought that she knew I had done something 
specially for her made me contented and satisfied. 

  I think only courtesy pushed her to keep that Cd with her. Vinodh used
to say stories about her. Most of the time he will give a mysterious 
smile saying 'u don't know anything about her'. He said that she won't 
do anything like complaining to her parents or HOD when she receive a 
love letter. He even said that she still has a collection of love 
letters that she received so far. He has a circle of local friends and 
he managed to get more info like this. 

  -----   

When I woke up in the morning, it was almost 6am. Most of the us had
already taken their bath. I still don't know whether I took bath that 
day or not. All that I remember is spraying more of Axe effect on my 
shirt at 6.20am and losing cap of that spray in a hurry-burry which 
eventually landed in a ditch. Some said Babu sathish, Ganesh and some 
other boys had went to the temple in the morning. Who knows it was true 
or not, because none was wake that time when they went to temple. Of 
course girls had gone to the temple too (which is the main reason that 
I didn't go to temple. remember the rules that I said earlier. boys 
should enter without wearing shirts! and I don't wanna release my body 
secrets!!) 

  But there is one thing that I felt while leaving Guruvayur. Banana
chips!. Yes, Guruvayur is famous for tasty and salty Banana chips. 
Whenever our family return from Guruvayur we will have a separate 
luggage for Banana chips. (Banana chips is nothing but sliced banana 
fried in vegetable oil, don't ask what vegetable oil is ... ). I regret 
leaving Guruvayur without having a single Banana chip. 

  The next tourist place on our schedule is Mazhamuzha (spell it as
Malamula) dam. And again this is also a famous suiting spot. I bought 
some extra rolls for our camera. Then we had our tickets to ride on the 
wings ( a string will be there attaching two mountains and we ride on 
the small cabin that slides over the string - I don't know the exact 
English name for this, so let me call it wings ). Each cabin 
accommodates only two in a wings. So I joined Aravind and Durgesh 
joined Harish. It was a fantastic view from the cabin. We can see the 
eagles-eye view of the park which accompanies the Mazhamuzha dam. The 
ride was about 20 minutes and we took snaps as usual. 

  Actually there will be two strings each carrying cabins moving in the
opposite directions. Some school girls crossed in the opposite 
direction and we started staring at them. Then we waved our hands to 
our staff who were standing down in the park. But surprisingly some 
girls behind our staff waved us back. We are happy to see the response, 
but our staffs started frowning at us. Then we moved down to the park. 
After taking some snaps of Aravind I moved to Menaka who is also a 
close friend of mine just like Kayalvizhi ( spell it Kayalvili ). She 
asked me a battery for her camera. 

  Few feets away, I saw Muthu posing to the snaps taken by Roopa. I
asked Menaka to take her a snap for me. Well she actually took a snap, 
but later the roll got struck inside the camera. Slowly we went up the 
bridge of the dam. There also we took some group photos. For the first 
time, I also stood along with others for a group photo. Usually I never 
liked to be taken photos. Then after spending few minutes there we 
moved to a hotel for lunch. As usual we ordered non-veg items. Suddenly 
it started raining outside. Some of us started saying that the bus is 
going to leave. So many rushed to the bus, leaving the ordered items as 
such. After this, we had all the ordered items on our table and we had 
our feast. Thank God, they had payed while rushing to the bus.      
Amidst this, EC (Electronics and Communications) students tour bus also 
came there. Poor fellows, they were unable to enjoy their Ooty visit ( 
a hill station area, which isa our next visit ) because of heavy rain 
out there. Just like adding fuel to the fire, their bus got punctured 
on their way and above all their Mazhamuzha Dam visit is also under 
threat as it is heavily raining here also. All of us felt relaxed that 
so far there is no hindrance on our schedules like theirs. But we 
worried about our Ooty visit as we have it on the next day. 

  Monkey falls is our next spot. But all are disappointed when they
found the falls very small and not clean that too after 1 hour of 
climbing over the mountains. Only boys took the bath while girls 
watched boys getting bath!. I didn't take the bath, instead all the 
boys dropped their clothes, wallets, rings, chains, eye-glasses towels 
etc all over me. I was happy that within secnds I was nearly 20,000 Rs 
worth. But I don't like the way I look like a court stand. Again I took 
some snaps of little Arnolds and Van-Dammes and then we went back to 
the bus. 

  Then we moved our journey to Ooty. Durgesh, Kayalvizhi, Parthasarathy,
Thirumurugan and some other states started dancing to the music played. 
Everybody enjoyed encouraging them. Meanwhile Aravind started moving 
closely to Muthu, which I didn't like. Aravind knew me very well and he 
knews that I don't like any boys moving close to Muthu. Maybe 
possessiveness. Some months back, it was Aravind who supported my 
feelings when Babu talked to Muthu. He was once angry with Babu when he 
tried to talk with Roopa. (Earlier Aravindh used to stare at Roopa) 

  But I don't know where to go, when he himself is moving close to
Muthu. He asked me to have a Dairy Milk chocolate which Muthu gave to 
him. I hesitated to take that. He said 'come on yaar, it was Muthu's'. 
I replied 'I will like to get from her directly. Not through a third 
person'. I knew that it will hurt him. But I was deeply hurt than that, 
when my close friend is doing the wrong thing against me. Durgesh never 
interferes in my matters when it comes with Aravind. So I was 
desperate, sad and felt like being left in a no-mans island which is 
drowning into the sea every second. 

  One more thing that made me angry was his change in attitude
over-night. Starting from the first day, he has no good opinion for 
Muthu. He used to call her as ( girls pardon me ) blonde or a 
prostitute. He calls her with the most third-rated bad words and he 
will always comment that she had many affairs with some local guys. 
Both Vinodh and Aravind has the same opinion for Muthu, except that 
Aravind supported me. He is a sort of 'Whatever it maybe, Arun likes 
her and so I will support him' kind. Even a day before the tour he 
commented her. But now he is completely changed within hours. I never 
thought he will spoke to her in such a polite way. 

  Muthu liked Aravind very much. Not only Muthu, all the girls. That is
mainly due to his sense of humor and an attracting smile which hides 
his real characters. Muthu never hesitates to talk to Aravind and now 
Aravind is taking the chance over me. I don't know how to tell my close 
friend that what he does is hurting me. 

  The bus reached Coimbatore at around 7pm. I was still upset with
Aravindh's behaviors and so I didn't move out for food. Kayal and 
Menaka called me to come with them. I asked them to leave me alone. So 
they also left. Finally I was alone in the bus. I made myself 
comfortable in the front seat and started to close my eyes. My home was 
just 2 hours reach from that place and suddenly thoughts of my family 
came before me. I felt bored and so I walked away from the bus. I don't 
know where I am going, but I don't want to stand in a place. 

  I crossed the hotel where my friends are having their food. I walked
slowly and after 15 minutes I returned back to the bus. And when once 
again I started to sleep, I heard a cell ringing inside the bus. But I 
am unable to find from where it was ringing. After few seconds it 
stopped. Once again it started ringing and this time I managed to find 
the bag from where the ring comes. It was Muthu's and just as I took 
the bag, the ring stopped. After that no rings came. So I slept. After 
some time I heard footsteps on the bus and when I wake up I saw Muthu 
crossing by. I told her that her cell ranged twice. She rushed to the 
cell and called back to her home. It was her family who called her 
twice. I heard that she is very close to her family, especially her 
grandfather. 

  Then the bus moved to Ooty. It will take at least 3 to 4 hrs to reach
Ooty from there. Everybody was tired and started to sleep one by one. 
The driver inserted a video cassette ( Tamil film: Mudhalvan ) and all 
the lights were off. After some time I found that only myself, Aravind 
and Muthu was watching the film. All the rest has gone sleep. Aravind 
was sitting in the first seat, while I was sitting in the second seat. 
Muthu was at the third seat near the window. 

  I thought that that was a correct time to speak to her. After some
hesitation I pulled all my strength and courage to ask her 'how was the 
cd'. She was at first disturbed to hear that question from me. But she 
managed to say 'yah ....  nice.......... thanks'. Aravind who was 
behind me said 'it took so long for u to say this'. She just smiled 
back. Then I gave her some chips which both me and Aravind were having. 
She at first hesitated and later took two pieces. After few minutes she 
started sleeping. 

  It was almost 1am in the morning when we reached our lodge in Ooty.
Ooty is one of the places that has coolest climate in India and at 
midnight it was more chiller that it could freeze your blood. Then 
slowly one after other all settled in their rooms. All of us are 
provided with a thick blanket, but that didn't stop us feeling the 
freezing climate. As usual I woke up late in the early morning while 
almost all got ready. I heard that Sadhanandha Singh (other state 
student) had taken bath first and that too in cold water. That was the 
top news in our gang because no human can take a bath in cold water in 
Ooty and that too at 4am! 

  After having a warm bath in cold water, I wrapped myself in a thick
shirt and a sweater. All of us gathered in the entrance. There we had 
arranged two vans for our trip up the hill. Since we are 47 we hired 
two vans and we splitted all the girls in one van and all the boys in 
other van. Both myself and Durgesh boarded the van which has girls. I 
knew that this will make all the boys to frown at us. We splitted the 
audio cassettes that we had and we started our journey. 

  We stopped on our way in a hotel to take our morning breakfast. After
finishing I bought bigger size Dairy Milk candies and stepped in to the 
van. The driver started explaining the places in and around saying this 
film was taken here and that file there etc.. At one time some girls 
started dancing to the songs and the boys who were following at our 
back started shouting and whistling. Almost all the girls danced inside 
the van. 

  The driver stopped the van at a turning. Pointing to the distant hills
he said that they will look like a lady sleeping. After few seconds 
most of the persons started saying 'yah I see'. But I was not able to 
locate. Muthu also said that she was not able to see. Then suddenly she 
said that 'yah I am also seeing it'. After few seconds I also 
confronted that I too recognize it. Though I don't see anything, I said 
so fearing that others will make fun out of me if I am the only person 
who was not able to recognize it. 

  First we went to a tea estate nearby  ( actually we got permission for
an industrial visit, not for a tour and this tea estate is the only 
industrial place that we went on the tour! don't ask what a tea estate 
could do for computer science students!! ). First we got in and had a 
look on the tea manufacturing plant. The plant officers explained the 
whole process, though no one bothered to listen. We spread here and 
there and took some snaps. I just looked at the landscape. It's 
pleasant to look at the green bushes and passing clouds. 

  I took group photos. Most of them handed their cameras to me and posed
for group photos. Everyone needed to take photos on their camera too. 
So there I was clicking the same frame 5 or 6 times. And finally 
something happened! only Muthu was standing by. I asked her to pose for 
a solo snap. With little bit hesitation she stood in between the 
bushes. Durgesh asked her to keep her two hands on her cheek, which she 
did and I clicked my camera. I was happy to have her on my camera. 

  After that we moved to the tea stall. Sample Tea were distributed for
free and all had a sip. Then we gathered on our vans and moved to 
Doddebetta.   .................. to be continued soon   

------------------------   

The only thing I pray is none of my college mates should see this story.


For certain reasons I like Muthu to read this story. But something
inside me longs that she should be left undisturbed. She should never 
read this story. 

  She very well knew that I liked her very much. But she never liked my
way of approach. I feel that she is perfect for me, matching my dream 
girl in every aspect, but at the same time I realized that I won't be 
perfect for her. I am not up to her expectations. May be that was a 
reason that I don't felt her as my lover. I never imagined or 
visualized her in that perspective. Still I can say that I didn't love 
her. I never thought her in that way. I worshipped her like a precious 
idol. 

  I heard that Muthu and their family moved to Chennai (Tamilnadu/India)
after her sister joined a college there in July 2002. The last time 
that I saw Muthu was in the written test conducted by TCS ( another Big 
concern in India ) for recruitment in their company. She hasn't changed 
much. She came in her Maruti with her family. Though she cleared that 
test, she lost in the Interview section. I felt for her losing that 
interview. 

  Don't know what she is doing now, maybe placed in another company or
engaged to a charming professional guy working in US. I knew that she 
won't send me any marriage invitation as she don't have my address. 
When her Autograph note was passed among the boys, I didn't write my 
address on her book. I thought that she won't need it. To her I am just 
a n+1 guy who were chasing mad after her. But to me she is just like a 
distant light house for a ship struggling in a may-day situation. She 
has made me to explore my inner spirit which I wouldn't have felt 
otherwise. 

  

She has managed to teach me what life is, what affection is without
speaking a single word. 

The total conversation that I had with her in the three years college
life won't cross even a single page. 

But I had spent an entire life time with all my dreams where I used to
watch her leading her own life. 

If all my feelings are true, then by some miracle she will definitely
come across this page one day in her life. 

And when it happens I will feel happy that she knew what I felt about
her. 

And with that my whole life will gets completed.   

But I am still left with one question unanswered 

......... what she actually feels about me ? 

........ the question only she could give answer. 


Tweet