the world's fattest munchkin pt. 3 (standard:Fan Fiction, 2590 words) [3/3] show all parts
Author: YummyGurl	Added: Dec 22 2009	Views/Reads: 2147/1713	Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
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number. “Why?” Paris asked. “Isn't Mr. Sutton in the phone book?” 

“No,” Flower said. “He's not listed.” 

“Check under Arthur West,” Sutton whispered as the epidural steroids ran
down her veins. 

“Paris call that Arthur West,” Flower ordered as he walked out. Paris
did as she was told, even though she hates taking orders. She's 
supposed to be the Head Bitch In Charge. She skimmed through the phone 
book by the window until she found the name, WEST ARTHUR. She dialed 
the number until a baritone voice picked up. 

“Hello,” said the man with a funny accent. 

“Can I speak to Arthur...I mean West... I mean Paul...” Paris said. 

The old man on the other end laughed. “I'm all of the above.” 

“Great! I need you to come to the hospital.” 

“Why?” 

“Sutton's water broke.” 

He was silent for a second. He finally said, “When did she get
pregnant?” 

“Just get here you old hag!” Paris screamed as she hung up. Sutton
glared at Paris. “He'll be here,” Paris sighed. 

*** 

“Hello?” said the voice on the other line. Fitz didn't know what to say.
He was silent for a few seconds. 

“Is this another prank call?” 

“Chris.” 

“That voice sounds familiar.” 

“Sutton's water broke.” 

“Well, why are you telling me that?” Christian snapped. 

“Aren't you excited?” Fitz asked. 

“Why would I be? Why don't you call the father of the baby?” 

“And who would that be?” Fitz's palms became wetter than his armpits. 

“Ask Roger,” Christian said before he hung up. 

*** 

Roger was less then ten inches close to the TV and less than 5 minutes
close to cumming when the phone rang again. He didn't care. He was too 
busy watching Dick Foster live up to his name. The phone kept ringing, 
so Roger paused the porno and answered. 

“Hello?” Roger sang. 

“Are you Sutton's baby daddy?” Fitz asked. 

“Didn't I tell you? Talk the cute plumber next door!” 

“Roger, answer the question.” 

“No. I never shoved my junk up front hole! There...I hope you're happy.”


“Then why would Christian imply you're him?” 

“What'd exactly did he say?” 

“He said why don't I call the father of her baby and so I asked him who
was the baby daddy and then he said to call you,” Fitz cried. Roger 
flinched in his sleeping bag. He hated it when people cried, especially 
to him. Dammit he thought. “Stop crying,” he said. Fitz didn't seem to 
hear him, because he kept on. “Stop crying you big Munchkin.” 

“I'm sorry!” Fitz wept. “I'm just really scared!” 

“Why?” Roger asked. “This isn't your first time witnessing a delivery.
Your wife gave birth two years ago.” 

“That's it!” Fitz cried. “My wife! I don't want to lose her!” 

“Excuse me?” 

“I think I'm the father of Sutton's baby!” 

*** 

Arthur didn't believe what he heard as he entered the 2nd floor. There
was a short, fat man in the lobby screaming into a cellular. Arthur 
didn't pay attention to him at first, until he screamed, “I'm the 
father!” 

Arthur twitched. “Excuse me young man,” he began, “but did you say
you're the father of my future grandchild?” 

The stocky man closed his phone and looked up. “Are you Arthur?” 

“Sometimes,” he said. “I go by many names...Paul, Jerry, and also Dick.”


“Huh?” 

“I apologize...I am a porn star.” 

The little fat man laughed. “Whoa! Are you for real?” 

“Sadly.” 

“Aren't you too fat and old to be a porn star?” 

*** 

Sutton lay there and began to think about her life these past few years.
She loved her husband, and she still does...She started to remember the 
good days when they would lay in the grass all day and just stare into 
each others eyes... Why can't life be like that anymore? Why did things 
have to change? Just two years ago they were the happiness couple in 
the industry and now...he's fucking around with younger men... 

“Paris,” Sutton said. 

Paris was slumbered in her little nook, dreaming of Flower. “Paris!”
Sutton shouted. Paris shook. “What? Who? Where?” Paris screamed. Sutton 
giggled, which really surprised herself, due to the situation. 

“Can you call Roger?” 

“I dunno his nubba,” Paris slurred. 

“Check in my purse.” 

Paris dug in Sutton's purse and found a ten inch dildo. “Wow,” Paris
laughed. 

“Shut up and dig for my phone!” Sutton shouted. 

*** 

Roger was watching another Dick Foster classic when his phone rang
again. Roger touched himself as he answered the phone, since that was 
what Dick was doing on the TV. 

“Hey, baby,” Roger repeated the words Dick said. 

“Whoa,” said the voice on the other end, “Wrong number.” And hung up. 

*** 

“Sutton's in room 48,” Fitz said pointing to the last door down the
hall. 

Mr. West fidgeted. “I haven't talked to my daughter for fifteen years,”
he said in a Russian accent. His hair was brownish-salt and pepper. He 
smelled like bad breath and Bengay. As he stared at Arthur, Fitz made a 
promise himself that he'll never grow up to become like Arthur –-- as 
if his could still grow. 

“How about I go in there with you?” Fitz offered. Arthur held Fitz's
chubby Munchkin hands as they went down the corridor. “Can you not tell 
anyone that I might be the father?” Fitz whispered. Arthur sighed. “I 
think you should own up to this responsibility now, than wait 10 
years,” said the geezer. 

Fitz started to think about what Arthur was saying. He remembered stuff
Sutton mentioned about her childhood, like how her daddy wasn't her 
real father, because her mother had an affair with a Russian immigrant. 
Sutton once said that she didn't know about it until she was 9 years 
old and the Soviet Mafia started threatening her mother to give up 
Sutton. Fitz thought it was some tall-tale until now. 

*** 

“Dammit!” Sutton yelled. “It's coming out!” 

“Let me see!” Paris squealed. “Let me see!” 

Flower entered the room with an old, bald, fat man. “What's going on?”
Flower asked. “Hey, Sutton,” the old man said in a gloomy accent. A 
nurse came in with another big shot, hopefully to shut Sutton up. Dumb 
broad, Paris thought, way slut. She was totally ruining her Sunday 
night. She tapped Flower on the shoulder and signaled for him to follow 
her into the hallway. 

“Are you ok?” Paris asked. 

Flower started to glisten more than usual. “Why do you ask?” 

“Because your Bottom Broad is giving birth...” 

Flower winced. “I'm not the father.” 

Paris laughed. She could just imagine Flower and Sutton producing that
mess; with his flabs smushing her thin frame. How sad... 

“I feel out of place,” Paris admitted. “I'd better go.” 

“But I don't want to be alone,” Flower pleaded. 

“Then call Roger or something,” Paris said as she happily ditched
Sutton, but reluctantly left her Munchkin. 

*** 

Roger fell asleep before Dick Foster reached his third climax in his
second sex scene of the movie when the phone vibrated. “Oh that feels 
good!” Roger moaned as the vibrations massaged his happy spots. 

Suddenly on the TV, Annie Sprinkle, yelled OH GOD so loud she awoke the
dust on Roger's ceiling. Roger opened his eyes and realized Fitz was 
trying to call him. 

“What's up dude?” Roger answered. 

“Paris left me!” the Munchkin cried. 

“Did she abandon you on the side of the street like she did with her
cat, Cupcake?” Roger laughed. Roger didn't believe the junk in the 
tabloids, but he believed that all cats should stay away from Paris 
Hilton. 

“No!” Fitz screamed. “She left me alone in the hospital with Sutton and
Arthur West!” Roger beamed at that name. “Arthur West,” Roger repeated. 
“As in the greatest Russian porn star ever! Arthur West AKA Paul Sutton 
AKA Dick Foster AKA Jerry Rillios! That Arthur West? Why is he there?” 

“He's Sutton's birth father!” Fitz said. 

“Why didn't you tell me?” Roger sang. “I would've driven to the hospital
and married Sutton in a heart beat! That man's my hero!” Roger stood 
and turned of the TV and put some pants on. “I'll be at the hospital in 
five minutes.” 

*** 

Paris was waving down a taxi in front of the hospital when one came by.
Out came a tall, scruffy man wearing a plumber's uniform. His name tag 
read ‘Marc.' “Omigod!” he sang. “You're Paris Hilton!” 

Paris smiled. She always loved an eager fan. “Oh yes I fucking am,” she
said. This guy was old, but not too old. She could screw him in a heart 
beat. Did she really want to go home now? It wasn't like Cupcake will 
be waiting up for her when she got home. “What can I do for you?” she 
offered. 

Marc giggled a giddy gay giggle. “Can you please come with me to witness
the birth of my first child?” he asked. Paris froze. “Is your 
girlfriend's name Sutton?” Marc looked surprised and confused. “I don't 
call her that—I mean her name IS Sutton, but she's nowhere near my 
girlfriend...” Marc was obviously nervous. “I'll walk you to the 
delivery room, but I won't go in,” Paris offered. 

*** 

“Thanks for giving me a ride!” Roger said as he jumped out of the yellow
Camry. “You know I wouldn't be doing this if you we're fucking my 
sister,” said Hunter Roberts. He was still wearing his cowboy hat and 
stripper pants from his nightshift at the Queens of Drag. Though Hunter 
was Sutton's older half brother, he loves her as much as he loved that 
cute fat puppy his daddy gave him for his first birthday. Hunter didn't 
care that his parents almost divorced because of Sutton's mafia 
dilemma; and that Sutton is smarter and more innocent than him. She 
taught him how to love and he's going to use that gift to accept Sutton 
for who she is, because she accepted him for what he does. 

“I'm sorry I called you while you were stripping,” Roger said. 

“It's ok,” Hunter assured as they entered the building. “Tonight wasn't
much of a great crowd anyways.” He was telling the truth, because that 
creepy old guy who works the lights kept trying to steal his Taco Bell. 


They entered the hospital and headed straight for the delivery room
until they found Sutton. “Hey, you got here fast,” Fitz said being 
fatter and sweatier than usual. He was standing in the corner, while 
some geezer held Sutton's hand as screamed as loud as she sings. 

“Hello West-Rillios,” Hunter said coldly. “Oh-Em-Geee!” Roger shouted.
He ran to Arthur West and gave him a big bear hug. “Dude, you're my 
Heeeee-Rooo!” Roger giggled. Arthur giggled too, but it was because 
Roger's peppermint breath was tickling his neck. 

“Hey, there bitches,” Paris sang, “I'm back.” She swayed into the room
with Sutton's next door neighbor, Marc, right behind. “I'm back with 
company.” 

Marc blushed and Paris patted him on the back. “I promised you'll be
here,” he whispered to Sutton as he sat on her side. She grunted at 
him, because Fitz put a rag in her mouth so she would be yelling too 
loud. 

“So who's ready to deliver a baby?” asked the doctor as he entered the
room wearing Veggie Tales scrubs and a white coat. “Ooh! I am! I am,” 
Roger squealed. He really wanted to impress Arthur West. 

“Ok,” said the doctor as he handed Roger some rubber gloves. Hunter set
his video camera up on a tripod facing toward Sutton's carpet which was 
already 11 centimeters. “Wow! You're furrier than my cat!” Paris said 
as she snapped a pic with her Blackberry Smart Phone. “Do you mean that 
cat you abandoned?” Roger joked as he slid the gloves over his callused 
hands. 

“What is he doing here?” Fitz whispered to Paris. He didn't like it that
Marc the Plumber was hanging around them with his awful stench and 
aura. Paris held his hand. “He wanted me to come along, but I didn't 
return because of him,” she said as she touched his chubby face. 
“Listen, I made a stupid mistake leaving you to take care of yourself,” 
Paris sighed. “I'm sorry.” 

“No,” Fitz began. “I'm sorry. I should've paid more attention to you
than my selfish situation.” Suddenly everything froze and Perez 
appeared wearing a hotdog costume and eating a corndog. 

“What's up, ketchup?” Paris asked. She wasn't afraid of him any more. 

“So are you feeling the burn?” Perez laughed. 

“I beg your pardon?” 

“How sweet! Paris is begging!” 

“I mean, what do you mean?” 

“Do you feel the love burn?” 

“Why would you say that?” 

“Oh c'mon, Paris! Your palms are sweating! Your eyes are glowing! And
you just can't just thinking about the guy! You're in love!” 

“That's insane! That guy is barely handsome and he could hardly dress
himself!” 

“As if that has ever stopped you before!” 

“I know... but still.” 

Perez disappeared and Sutton was pushing out a head of blonde hair out
of herself. “Just pull it out already!” she shouted. Marc obliged by 
digging his hands inside Sutton and pulling out a fat pink baby boy. 

“Ewwwww!” Hunter yelled. 

“Wow,” said Arthur. 

The endish 


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