The Soul of Me (Part 10) (standard:drama, 4014 words) [10/11] show all parts
Author: Maya	Added: May 30 2001	Views/Reads: 2516/1828	Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Heidi opens her soul to Aaron.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story


“Okay.” 

“I also intend on talking to Kyle. I can’t do anything to him because we
can’t prove anything, but I will talk to him about his attitude and his 
conduct lately.” I guess that was really all he could do. “Are you sure 
you don’t want me to change his schedule?” 

“What good would it do. If it was him, and he wanted to do it again, he
could find the time. Changing lunch periods won't stop him.” 

“I’m glad you came to me, Heidi. I’ll do what I can.” 

“Thanks. I’d better go.” The bell for second lunch period had just rang.


“The custodian should have had time to tape up your locker. No-one will
know what was written there.” 

“Okay” I walked out of the office and back to my locker. 

The locker had indeed been papered and taped over. No-one would read the
words, but they would all know something was up. At least I didn’t 
think anyone would tear off the paper. The custodian was conspicuously 
hanging around the lockers pretending to sweep up a mess. He smiled at 
me knowingly when I got to my locker.  I wasn’t sure if I should be 
happy he was watching over things or embarrassed because he saw what 
someone had scratched into the locker. 

I wanted to leave a note for Jody.  I figured she should at least have
an explanation as to why we were the lucky recipients of a new coat of 
paint for our locker.  I found a scrap of paper and wrote her a quick 
note joking that we had been vandalized.  I kept it light.  I didn’t 
tell her what was written on our locker, just that it was being sanded 
and repainted.  Hopefully she’d just figure it was a random act. 

Lunch was uneventful.  I found myself wishing Aaron would stop by like
he did yesterday.  I knew he couldn’t,  but that didn’t stop me from 
wishing it just the same.  I ate lunch in relative peace.  A few people 
joined me at my table, but except for the occasional polite smile and 
nod, I was pretty much left alone.  Kyle and his little friends were 
nowhere to be seen.  I suspected they were in Mr. James’ office, but I 
didn’t know for sure.  It could have been that they found someone else 
to agonize today.  Whatever the case, I was just glad to avoid him for 
yet another day. 

English class.  I walked in and saw Aaron already sitting at his desk. 
He smiled at me and waved.  I smiled back and went to my seat.  I was 
putting my things under my chair when Aaron walked up to me. 

“You’re still coming to practice tonight?”  He looked hopeful.  That
look made my day. 

“Are you still on the team?”  I teased. 

“Very funny.”  He snickered, though.  “Of course I’m still on the team. 
Coach loves me.” 

“Okay, I’ll be there, but I don’t know anything about basketball.” 

“You’re not supposed to go there because you actually want understand
what’s going on.  You’re just supposed to go to watch me run around the 
court in my sexy shorts.”  He grinned and  went back to his desk before 
I could come up with a retort.  In reality, I was speechless anyway. 

By the time classes had ended for the day, I was truly looking forward
to watching basketball practice.  In fact, after my discussion with 
Aaron, I could hardly think of anything else.  My imagination was 
starting to get the better of me, again.  If I didn’t know any better, 
I’d say Aaron was flirting with me.  This was not something that 
normally  happened to me.  I was confused.  If I interpreted things 
incorrectly I would be totally humiliated.  That still didn’t stop me 
from enjoying  my imaginations.  I could pretend, at least for a little 
while, that Aaron was as infatuated with me as I was with him.  As a 
result, I didn’t learn much that afternoon, but I thoroughly enjoyed 
myself. 

I met up with Jody at our locker as usual.  The new paint was barely
dry.  In fact, there was a sign above the locker warning passers by of 
the wet paint.  There wasn’t any evidence of the hurtful words 
remaining.  I was relieved. 

“Hey.  What’s the deal with the new coat of paint?”  Jody asked. 

“Didn’t you get my note?”  I was using great care in opening the door as
to avoid either smudging the paint or getting any paint on myself.  As 
it turned out, it wasn’t really necessary.  The paint was nearly dry 
already. 

“What note?”  I guess that answered that question. 

“Someone vandalized the locker.  When I got here at lunch whatever was
there was already covered over with paper.”  I was lying to my best 
friend.  It seemed like I was doing that a lot lately.  I guess I felt 
I needed to protect her from being affected by my misfortune.  “I left 
a note.”  I pick up the note I had written and handed it to her. 

“I haven’t come by since before my lunch period.  Whoever did this must
have done it sometime the between lunch periods.  Do you know what it 
said?”  She stuck the note in one of her books without reading it. 

“No.”  I was lying again.  “It was probably just profanity.  It
happens.”  I shrugged.  I wanted off this subject.  “Are you ready to 
watch basketball practice?” 

“Oh, yeah”  She said excitedly.  “Are you?” 

“Yep.”  We put all the books we wouldn’t be needing for homework over
the weekend back in our locker.  The others we loaded up in our back 
packs and headed over to the gym. 

Once inside the gym, I followed Jody over to where she normally sat to
watch Clark.  We were in the middle of the court about halfway up the 
bleachers.  We had a great view – in more ways than one.  The players 
straggled onto the court a few at a time.  After a few minutes the 
whole team had congregated onto the floor and was doing warm-ups. 

Clark and Aaron walked onto the floor at the same time.  Clark noticed
Jody and with a slightly embarrassed grin, waved at her.  Aaron saw me 
sitting beside Jody and raised his hand to me as well.  I smiled and 
nonchalantly waved back.  From that point on they were completely 
engrossed what the coaches were saying and on their performances. 

I enjoyed watching them practice.  It was nice to see all the guys
running up and down the court, but I completely enjoyed the game as 
well.  It was highly entertaining.  Though I didn’t really understand 
the nuances of the game, it was not difficult to see that Aaron was an 
important and extremely talented part of the team.  For some reason, I 
felt a sense of pride at this.  I didn’t know why I should feel pride, 
but I was getting some kind of a vicarious thrill from watching the way 
he and the other team members interacted with one another.  I obviously 
didn’t have anything to do with his talent.  Nonetheless,  I felt proud 
of him, and, ridiculous as this may be, proud of me for being his 
friend.  If, indeed, that was what we were. 

“So, did you think about what I asked you this morning?”  Jody and I had
been watching practice for about 30 minutes when she brought this up. 

“You mean what do I think I look like?” 

“Yes.  Have you thought about it?”  She asked again. 

In truth, I had thought about it – a little.  “I did, but I don’t really
know what you mean.  I’m short and overweight.  I look sloppy.  I have 
brown hair and brown eyes.  My complexion is not very good.  I’m lucky 
if my skin is clear for two days in a row.  I’m just not very pretty.  
I can’t wear the cool clothes that everyone else wears.  The style just 
doesn’t fit or it looks stupid on me.  I just want to belong.  I want 
someone to tell me I’m beautiful – besides my family or you, but I know 
I’m not.  Is that what you wanted to know?”  I guess I said this a 
little harsh, but I did not enjoy thinking about my appearance.  The 
more I could forget about it, the better. 

“When I look at you I see a beautiful person.  You have gorgeous hair. 
Most girls have to spend forever on their hair to get it to look as 
good as yours does.  You can just wash and brush and it looks great.  
Your eyes are the deepest brown I’ve ever seen.  They are definitely 
one of your best features.  I’ll bet you didn’t know that.”  I didn’t 
say anything.  “Your skin looks fine to me.  Besides, makeup does a 
good job of hiding blemishes.  Yes, you are short.  So what?  Yes, you 
are overweight, but Heidi, you are not a big fat slob.  Not everyone is 
a size two.  I’m not.  Most people aren’t.  You’re weight bothers you 
more than it bothers anyone else.  You look fine.  Especially when you 
take the time to dress nicely, like you did today.”  I still didn’t say 
anything.  “What I’m trying to say is that you have a distorted idea of 
your appearance.” 

“Jody, I know you are just trying to help, but I know what I look like.”


“You know what you look like to you.  How you view yourself is based a
lot on what other people say and how they react to you.  You’ve not 
been very lucky in this regards.  You’ve had people tease you.  So 
what?  There is not one person in this school, probably anywhere, that 
hasn’t been teased for one thing or another.  You’re too fat.  You’re 
too thin.  You’re too tall.  You’re too short.  You wear glasses.  You 
have braces.  You don’t wear the right clothes. You’re gay.  You talk 
strange.  You’re too rich.  You’re too poor.  You’re white.  You’re not 
white.  You use a wheel chair.  You’re blind.  You’re deaf.  You don’t 
practice the right religion.  You’re have no religious preference.  
Whatever.  Do you understand what I’m saying?  No one is perfect and 
someone will always have a problem with someone else for whatever 
reason they can find.  It’s not right, but it seems like that’s just 
they way it is.”  She paused waiting for a response from me.  When I 
didn’t give it to her after a few seconds she said, “Well.” 

“I’m thinking.”  Finally, I said only partially in jest.  “How did you
get so wise?” 

“I’m not wise.  This is just my opinion, but I really do think it’s
true.  People become what people tell them they are.  They hear 
something long enough and start to believe it.  You believed it from 
day one.  It’s time to change all that.” 

“I don’t know Jody.  You make sense, but it seems like everyone looks
down on me because of the way I look.” 

“You always say ‘everyone’.  Everyone who?  Kyle and his group of
friends.  Yes, they constantly tease you, but who else?  Other 
nameless, faceless people? Little kids who are probably being more 
honest or curious than malicious?  Who else in this school, except 
Kyle, really torments you?” 

I thought about this.  Kyle has always had some issues with me.  Other
than the occasional mean or snide remark from one person or another, 
there was no other individual that went out of their way to tease me.  
On the other hand,  few people went out of their way to be nice to me 
either.  Still, I was beginning to think Jody was right.  Maybe I read 
too much into the snickers and laughs.  Maybe some of the remarks 
weren’t meant to be mean.  Maybe they were just innocent remarks that 
meant nothing. 

“You are probably right, but I can’t change how I feel overnight.” 

Basketball practice was getting ready to end.  The guys were gathered
around the coach listening to some final instruction.  As they broke up 
we could see Aaron and Clark walking towards us.  Before they got 
within hearing distance I said, “I don’t walk to talk about this in 
front of Aaron, okay?” 

“Okay.  We will talk later, though.  I have some ideas that might help
you feel better about yourself.”  Just then Clark and Aaron came up to 
us.  Jody stood up.  “Hi, babe.”  Wow, she was already calling him 
babe.  She literally jumped into his arms and kissed him – they 
continued kissing. 

Aaron and I just stood there in uncomfortable silence.  “So,  I’m going
to go shower and change.  I’ll meet you in front of the gym, okay?” 

“Okay.”  Suddenly I started to get nervous. 

Aaron smacked Clark on the shoulder.  “Come on Romeo.  She’ll like you a
lot more when you don’t stink.” 

“Ew!  You do stink.”  Jody broke off their kiss.  “Go shower.  I’ll meet
you in front.”  He gave her a quick peck and walk with Aaron back to 
the locker room. 

I heard Jody sigh.  “You really like him, huh?”  I asked. 

“Yes.  I really do.”  She watched him walk away.  “So,”  She said
turning back to me.  “I’m taking you out tomorrow.  I’ll pick you up 
after lunch.  Let’s say about 1 o’clock, okay.” 

“Sure.  I was going to see if you wanted to see a movie anyway.  What
are we going to do?” 

“A movie sounds like fun.  We can do that tomorrow night.  I have some
plans for us tomorrow afternoon.” 

“What kind of plans?” 

“You’ll see.  It’s a surprise.” 

“I hate surprises.” 

“How do you know?  What was the last surprise you had.” 

I thought for a moment.  “Well, I can’t think of one, but I hate them in
principle.”  We both laughed and headed outside to wait for Aaron and 
Clark. 

We weren’t waiting long when the guys showed up.  They were clean, wet,
and extremely handsome.  I couldn’t take my eyes off Aaron.  
Apparently, Jody felt the same about Clark.  They quickly said their 
good byes, and with Jody reminding me about the next day, walk toward 
Clark’s car. 

Aaron turned to me.  “Are you ready?” 

“Sure.”  I followed Aaron to his car.  He unlocked the passenger side
door first and opened it for me.  He went around to the drivers side 
and before I knew it we were heading for my house. 

“So, what did you think of basketball practice.  I hope you weren’t
bored.”  He kept his eyes on the road. 

“I really enjoyed it.”  He gave me a sidelong glance.  “I mean it.  It
was exciting.” 

“You thought that was exciting?”  He asked.  “You should come to a game.
 Now that’s exciting.”  He started telling me about the last game.  
With every word he was becoming more and more animated.  He obviously 
enjoyed playing.  I found myself smiling and laughing along with him.  
Much of my nervousness was dissipating because he made me feel so at 
ease.  It was as if this was where I was supposed to be at this moment 
in time. 

We pulled into my drive.  Never once had Aaron asked me for directions. 
“How did you know where I live.” 

“I told you I had connections.”  He said slyly. 

“You asked Jody, didn’t you?” 

“I might have.  Aren’t you going to invite me in?” 

“Well, you’re here, you might as well come in.”  We got out of the car
and went into the house. 

“Nice house Heidi.”  Aaron said as we walked into the living room. 

“Thanks.”  I said as if I had anything to do with it.  “So, do you want
a tour.”  I thought I should at least play the part of hostess.  
Besides, it would delay the inevitable – the reason he was here in the 
first place. 

“Sure.” 

I started taking him through the rooms.  We had a nice house, but it
wasn’t grand.  It was just a pleasant home.  It didn’t take us very 
long to see the whole thing.  I even took him out to the back yard.  
Our back yard was large and completely fenced.  My mother took great 
pride in her flower beds and the immaculately manicured lawn. 

The last thing I showed him was the attic and my room.  He seemed quite
impressed.  “Wow.  I’m jealous.” 

“Why?” 

“You have a great room, Heidi.  I wish I had this much privacy.”  Aaron
made himself comfortable on my big chair and then caught sight of my 
computer.  “Plus you have your own computer.  I hope you know how lucky 
you are.” 

“I guess I didn’t think much about it.  I guess in a lot of ways, I am
lucky.”  I sat down on the edge of my bed, but all of a sudden I 
started to get nervous all over again.  I stood up like I was on fire.  
I needed to get out of there.  “Um, would you like a soda?” 

“Sure, if it’s not a problem.” 

“No.  I’ll be right back.”  I got up and headed downstairs to the
kitchen.  I went to the refrigerator and took out two sodas.  I started 
to head back to my room, but I stopped when I thought of the most 
beautiful boy I knew sitting in my room, just inches away from where I 
dream about him.  I sighed heavily and laughed to myself.  He’s just a 
person and he just wants to talk.  I needed to stop being so 
ridiculous.  I took a deep breath and I started back up to my room. 

“Here’s your...”  I walked into my room.  Aaron was sitting on the edge
of my bed looking at a piece of paper.  The look on his face was 
frightening.  “Are you okay?  What’s wrong?” 

He looked up at me.  I thought I saw tears threatening to fall from his
eyes.  I also saw anger.  “What’s this?  Please tell me this isn’t what 
I think it is.”  He thrust the paper at me. 

I took it and started to read: 

Dear Mom and Dad, 

Don’t be sad. 

We all have to do what we think is right in our hearts... 

I didn’t need to read any further.  I deleted the file on my computer
when Jody found me on Tuesday, but I had already printed the note.  It 
had remained on my printer untouched all week.  How could I have 
forgotten I printed it. 

“What is this?”  Aaron said again. 

I didn’t know what to say.  Excuses ran through my mind, but I couldn’t
seem to open my mouth.  I was devastated.  I was lost. 

“Heidi.  Is this a suicide note?”  His eyes looked at me pleadingly. 
“Heidi.  Talk to me.” 

“Get out.” 

“What?”  He was stunned. 

“I said, get out!”  I shouted.  I didn’t want him to leave, but I didn’t
know what else to say. 

“No!”  He shouted back. 

“What?”  Now I was stunned. 

“I’m not leaving until you talk to me.”  He came towards me.  I backed
away until I reached the wall. 

“Heidi, Is this a suicide note?”  He wanted an answer and he wasn’t
going to leave me alone until he got one.  He was standing directly in 
front of me now. 

“What do you want me to say?”  I was almost in tears.  “Yes, okay.  Yes,
it’s a suicide note.”  I shouted vehemently.  “Are you happy.  Now, get 
out!” 

He didn’t get out.  Instead, he did something totally unexpected.  He
embraced me.  He wrapped me in his strong arms and held me tight 
against his chest.  At first, I struggled to free myself from his hold, 
but I couldn’t and I didn’t want to.  Eventually my struggles stopped 
and I allowed myself to be hugged.  I allowed myself to be comforted.  
I allowed myself to cry. 

Leaning against Aaron’s chest, I realized the tears that I saw in
Aaron’s eyes when I first came in were no longer threatening to fall.  
They were falling. 

************** 

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