Hate Chat (standard:poetry, 458 words)
Author: Finn McKool	Added: Jul 03 2003	Views/Reads: 3154/2073	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
First allow me to disclose that this is a bit of the pot calling the kettle beige. I was a netnerd, and a chatgeek, myself many moons ago (yeah, and my how things change ;) ). I just can't stand people enough to do it anymore. My patience wore thin. But

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

I HAVE NO PIC! 

Because I ain't got no webcam, boy! Herman and Lily didn't buy my online
proclivities to keep me out of their hair just so I could show my hairy 
ass to fifteen-year-old cybersluts from Hackensack because they need 
money for smack and slap me with restraining orders because I keep 
pestering them for pics and vids of them masturbating while shitting on 
their dogs because Pay Pal rejected me. 

No. 

I spend all my goddamn money on beer, smokes and broads. 

The only real addictions a man needs. 

The only reason I'm amongst this sad and useless collection of ones and
zeroes and zeroes and fuckin' zeroes is because we were having a 
conversation about life love and the fucking cosmos before you started 
spamming the chat with age/sex/location checks and NE hot chix wanna 
cyber IM me. 

You digital jizzstain. 

How does a dick like you type? You just bang your head against the
keyboard? 

A pecker who hunts and pecks? 

How appropos. 

Listen you worthless 

Spineless 

Syphylitic 

Shitstain. 

I have put up with your douchebaggery and that of all the rest of the
retarded masses in that real world you fear to tread in while I'm 
working for a living, slitting my wrists with paper clips for forty 
cerebellum disentegrating hours a week and I swear by GOD and sonny 
Jesus if you don't step off right fucking now I will introduce you to 
levels degradation, self-loathing, and embarrassment so dark and 
plumetous the only way they'll identify your corpse is by the 

Vacant 

Sadbastard 

Expression on what's left of your face once you've eaten a big ol' plate
of sixteen gauge buckshot a la Kurt Cobain. 

You are NOT the internet Lothario 

You are NOT remotely interesting 

You are NOT sadly tragic 

Why? 

Because U have 2 abbreviate the monosyllabic pronouns and fucking
prepositions. 


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