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Who says the IRS is a Meany? (standard:Inspirational stories, 909 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Sep 10 2012Views/Reads: 2147/836Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
I often hear derogatory remarks directed towards the IRS. I must admit that many of these critical remarks originated with me. Not that I do not like my good old Uncle Sam, it is that he is a little demanding When it comes to tax time.

I often hear derogatory remarks directed towards the IRS. I must admit
that many of these critical remarks originated with me. Not that I do 
not like my good old Uncle Sam, it is that he is a little demanding 
When it comes to tax time. 

Every year I complain about filing my income tax and paying out gobs and
gobs of dollars to the United States government. I know it is important 
to pay taxes, and, I pay my fair share even though it may be 

Throughout the years, I have complained that dear old Uncle Sam never
writes me a letter. I will have to amend that complaint because I 
recently received a personalized letter from the IRS. 

Well, you can imagine my surprise at getting this letter. With trembling
hands, I opened the letter, anxious to know what was going on in the 
world of Uncle Sam. I expected a detailed letter of what he was doing 
and how he was getting along and how the kids were and all that sort of 
thing. Imagine my surprise when none of that information was contained 
in the letter. 

From the contents of the letter, and I must say a lot of it was goobly
glop, I had fallen far short of my share of income tax this past year. 
According to the letter, I was a gazillion dollars short of what he had 
expected from me and quite frankly, he was disappointed in this 
behavior on my part. Do not ask me how many zeros a gazillion dollars 
have because I do not know. I do not have that many fingers or toes. 

Although I read the letter several times it was not quite clear how much
I actually owed and what plans there were in place for me to pay it 
back. From what I could understand from the letter, I owed good old 
Uncle Sam an arm and a leg, and he was highly expecting that I would 
come through for him. 

Well, that kind of letter did not set well with me. I was tempted to
leave the country, then sneak back as an illegal alien, and not have to 
worry about all this nasty stuff. But, I did not have that much energy 

There was a phone number I was to call if I had any personal questions.
Boy, did I have some personal questions. I was fully expecting not to 
get a real human voice when I called. 

But, again, I was pleasantly surprised. Within 30 minutes and after
dozens of pushing this button and pushing that button I had on the 
other end of the phone a very pleasant and cheerful voice, a 
representative of the IRS. 

After we exchanged some personal niceties and followed up on the weather
report from each of our locations, we finally got down to the real 
business of the phone call. 

I must confess I was not expecting such pleasantries from an IRS agent.
I assumed she had the telephone in one hand and a loaded, fully cocked 
revolver in the other. If she did, she concealed it most admirably. 

Then we got down to the nitty-gritty of what the IRS is all about:
collecting taxes from potentially delinquent taxpayers, like myself. 
The thought that I deliberately was delinquent was rather humiliating 
for me. Simply put, I just did not pay enough in, but this telephone 
call was going to rectify all of that. 

After she crunched all the figures and as I waited patiently on my end
of the phone, she was able to determine I owed the government an arm 
and a leg. It was then that the negotiations began in earnest. 

I must confess she could not have been any nicer had she been my

She then began to query as to which arm and which leg I was going to
give to the government. This presented a real difficult decision on my 
part. Throughout the years, I have grown quite fond of both arms and 
both legs. Then I asked her if I could counter a proposal. She replied 
in the affirmative. 

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