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Seeking a soulmate (standard:horror, 2633 words)
Author: Lev821Added: Apr 19 2020Views/Reads: 76/37Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Looking for love? Please look elsewhere.

"What about him?" 

"Not sure. I think he looks a little dim. Strange how you can tell how
intelligent a person is just by looking at their picture, and I don't 
want no idiot". 

In one corner of 'Kitty's kafe', Angela Howard and her friend Judy Bell
scrolled through a dating website on a laptop for Angela's potential 

Judy was 28, Angela 30. Judy with a woollen hat and wavy blonde hair
wearing a white polka dot dress. Angela with long straight brown hair 
and pale blue denim jacket with pear drop earrings. They had both been 
school friends and had gone through university together studying 

She scrolled further through the pictures but nobody immediately leapt
out at her. Some though, warranted a profile read. 

"Here we have Gary" said Angela, "'I'm an honest, genuine, nice guy'".
"Oh well that's alright then" said Judy, "As long as he said he's 
honest, then he must be. There you go, that's him". 

"They're just so...boring and generic," said Angela. "All of them say
the same things. Good sense of humour. Genuine. Trustworthy. As if by 
saying they're trustworthy I'm just going to take their word for it. 
Sorry need to 'prove' I can trust you". 

"Look," said Judy, "He looks like Mr Average. Boring picture standing at
the mirror. Boring picture on holiday with sunglasses and a pint of 
beer. Boring picture standing by a door in a suit". "Here we have Karl" 
said Angela, "Bit plump, unshaven...says he's a 'good guy'. Well that's 
me sold then. I think I'll marry him and have ten babies because he's a 
good guy." 

"Yep," said Judy. "Loves animals. Good sense of humour.
Respectful...loving...yawn...wake me up when one of them says something 
of interest". 

"Honestly," said Angela, "They're all so ordinary. Here we have Bob. A
few pictures of him smiling. One with a dog. One with him looking out 
into the distance. One with his top off. Ooh look at my bod. His 
profile has got nothing, just 'I don't know what to write in these 
things, so let's meet instead'. Yes alright I'll just run to him". 

"Aww, poor guys," said Judy, "They're just looking for love". "I know, I
get that. So am I, but honestly, some of these blokes..look, here we 
have Paul, 'hopeless romantic'. Two kids. On the first date would love 
to go for a drink". 

Judy shook her head and sighed. 

"Is there just one profile for all men on dating sites?" she asked,
"They all love animals. Love their friends. Love music...yes mate, you 
and everybody else on the planet". 

"Here's a picture of Bob in the gym, in just a T-shirt. 'My family and
friends are important to me' No, really? 'I'm easy-going, 
non-judgemental. Sometimes I like cosy nights in...' you and hundreds 
of others, 'loves to have a laugh' dear o' dear, 'You and 'billions' of 
others...right I've had enough of Bob". 

"Here's Thomas. 'Most people call me Tommo. I'm looking for a partner in

"Oh we have a comedian do we?" said Judy, "looking for a partner in
crime, ha ha ha, well I'm sold. Can I have him instead of you?" Angela 
scrolled down further. 

"Ok, who's this?....hello Kieran". 

That same night, at Magnolia wine bar, dressed in a black cocktail dress
with brown court shoes, Angela was sat on her own, scrolling through 
her phone when he seemed to emerge from nowhere. "Hi, I'm Kieran" he 

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