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Flasher's Lament (standard:poetry, 336 words)
Author: CoyAdded: Nov 30 2001Views/Reads: 2146/0Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Humorous poem about an old flasher.


Jack the ripper was a well known slasher, 

but now you will hear about Jumpin Jack Flasher. 

All you young ladies, you better beware, 

because Jumpin Jack Flasher is everywhere. 

A dirty old raincoat and a sly little grin, 

he hides behind trees with spit on his chin. 

Old ones, young ones, He doesn't care, 

he opens his coat and shows off his wares. 

On the streets, on the beach, or out in the park, 

Jumpin Jack's there, daylight or dark. 

He loves to see them gape in surprise, 

so tantalizing, it gives him a rise. 

Jack applied for a TV game show. 

he sponsors accepted, cause they didn't know, 

that Jack had plans that they couldn't see. 

He got up on the stage and flashed the TV. 

So housewives and children all over the land, 

got a first hand view of a "Dirty Old Man". 

He jumped off the stage and ran to the alley, 

and got clean away before they could rally. 

He was so proud of what he had shown, 

but all over town his "face" was well known. 

So he dyed his hair and he donned a mask, 

and strolled through the streets intent on his task. 

One rainy night as he walked down the street, 

a raincoated lady he happened to meet. 

Taken aback he started to curse, 

That "Dirty Old Lady" had just flashed him first. 

So the story goes, it was love at first "sight". 

Being a Christian, Jack did what was right. 

It was a large wedding and many attended, 

in brand new raincoats so none were offended. 

They stood by their car so happy and proud, 

and just before leaving they both flashed the crowd. 

As nature intended, soon they were blessed, 

and several small flashers ran through the nest. 

Now as the family strolls down the street, 

Covered by raincoats all you see is their feet. 

It's really a sight, you may think a mirage, 

when directly in front of you a flasher's birage. 


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