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Peachy Life (standard:drama, 1351 words)
Author: OxAdded: Feb 09 2002Views/Reads: 2079/1366Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Mayor Quincy Hatch comes to terms with his failing marriage


Michael Henry 

If I tell you my story you have to promise not to tell anyone else,
except maybe that special friend you keep around for juicy tales like 

The tale starts in a small town like most other small towns, except this
small town harbors escaped prisoners, authentic criminals, for payments 
made out to the Mayor. (The locals call them pioneers because of their 
smell from hiding in the woods so long.) The pioneers are white and 
therefore can afford to pay the towns Mayor – Mayor Quincy Hatch the 
money. The mayor finds a quiet hole in the courthouse basement where 
the dust keeps to a minimum and if nothing is available in the 
courthouse, the mayor is more than happy to put those poor violent 
souls up for a few nights in his house. What a nice gentleman this town 
has for a mayor. 

The trick is how everyone fools themselves by saying how truly divine
this burnt down town is for housing outcasts like Randy Sherman, who 
performed a brain transplant on two girls he swooned at some party. His 
decision to remove the brains and to switch them is as much a mystery 
now as it was at the beginning of the hell he created. 

Our tale is about to change at this juncture. Major Hatch has recently
discovered some disturbing news about his lovely wife, Hale, and the 
news involves a sick and heterosexual icicle murderer named John. John 
picked away at the eyes of his aunt and uncle for over a year with 
icicles that stay frozen in the ton size freezer at the bottom of the 
steps going down to the basement. While John maintained his flair for 
insanity by working steadily doing dishes at the local drive – in 
diner, he had a silent and loud affair with Hale for over a year. 

They both loved being around each other especially at night when they
could get close and snuggle. His lips pressing against her body, her 
lips were what made the house hot on cool evenings. Mayor Hatch steamed 
at the idea of this John standing in the bathroom, watching Hale’s feet 
wiggle after sex. Mayor Hatch steamed at the image of his beloved wife 
jumbling in their bed beside a man who had something called a “life – 
sentence” dangling over his head like an angel. Hale and John ran 
untamed in his mind. The Mayor couldn’t read the paper without the 
names John or Hale popping out in bold print. The situation was boiling 
in the Mayors body. 

The soreness spreads over the body and blankets the conscience. The
result of torture is red pus bumps. Red puss bumps slopping down his 
neck. Red pus bumps growing on the stomach and chest. Something 
dangerous must happen and happen now! 

How long can the Mayor hold his breath? (Not much longer) At dinner, he
hides his eyes so she can’t see what he saw: pictures of Hale clutching 
Jon’s penis as though she were a baby again, smiling without a worry. 
He knew her smile would wear off; she would run back begging for 
forgiveness into his arms. None of this mattered. Hatch adjusted to the 
idea of his wife suffering, and he eventually welcomed the idea. It was 
time to end the affair. 

Mayor Hatch called up an old friend, Jessie Cunningham. Cunningham was
found in a plain white field with the severed hands of his victims, 
three school children, whom he found playing hide and seek in a falling 
down church; he felt no remorse for his crime, good for him. Cunningham 
is the perfect man to pull this stunt off, Hatch thinks. Hatch is so on 
the premise of murder and hiring a former tattoo artist to re – invent 
Mrs. Hatch. 

Hatch could not feel any better about his life than the night his wife’s
liver is tossed onto Main Street. Hiring Cunningham turns out to be the 
best thing Mayor Hatch did, except for that time when he harbored his 
first fugitive for enough money to buy Hale a set pearl earrings that 
belonged to a Queen. 

The trivia is: “who was the first fugitive?” – Earl Robins. Earl raped
his daughter and then removed the slimy insides of her stomach. 

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