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The Kop (standard:humor, 1417 words)
Author: scouserAdded: Feb 18 2003Views/Reads: 2014/1181Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Watching football from the terrace of the famous KOP at Anfield, Liverpool Football Club

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

to the toilet?” Which brought a great burst of laughter from the 
immediate area. “Listen luv, you've` got about as much chance of 
getting to the bog as winning the pools, av ya any idea how many people 
are crammed in ere?” the man standing behind us said “I just hope 
you've got ya wellies on ”he continued. “What does he mean?” Geri 
whispered in my ear, not wanting to seem ignorant “look down” I said 
pointing to the torrents of water gushing down the terrace steps “what 
is it” she screamed “piss” I informed her. “Why do you think I wanted 
the Echo?” I spent the next five minutes explaining to her that because 
it was virtually impossible to get to the toilets at half time people 
pissed on the floor. The Echo gets rolled up, you stick your ‘old 
fella' in it and you piss down the tube, which prevents you from 
pissing down the back of the legs of the person in front of you. 
“That's disgusting” she said, “Why can't they wait till the games 
finished?” “Because most of these men have had at least five pints of 
bitter before getting in” I told her as the crowd burst into applause 
as the teams arrived back on the pitch for the second half. The roar as 
the second half got under way was enough to make the hairs on your arse 
stand on end, never the back of your neck. It's the most incredible 
experience you can imagine watching a sea of red shirts attacking the 
Kop. I know how Davy Crockett must have felt at the Alamo as poor 
Tottenham tried to defend their territory, with the same inevitable 
result. Liverpool showed no mercy that afternoon and put Tottenham to 
the sword scoring three times in fifteen minutes, with goals from St 
John (2) and Stevenson (1). We sang, screamed and chanted till we could 
hardly mutter a raspy “bril” and by the time the referee blew the final 
whistle total exhaustion had set in. We'd been pushed, shoved and 
dragged up and down the piss-drenched steps of the Kop for forty-five 
minutes and we couldn't have been happier, after all we'd beaten the 
Cockney buggers 3-0. As we reached the top of the Kop on our way out we 
stopped and turned as one to soak up that last bit of atmosphere. As we 
stood there in our sodden footwear staring down at that magnificent 
arena Geri said to me “thank you that was the greatest experience I've 
ever had, will you take me again?” “Only if you wear your wellies” I 
chuckled as we headed down the steps and out into the street in search 
of the customary fish and chips. Ends. 


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