|Diary (standard:Suspense, 2470 words)|
|Author: Cloud Strife||Added: Aug 05 2003||Views/Reads: 1965/1157||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|A lonely man plagued by a recurring dream and gradually losing touch with reality begins a diary to help him cope with his growing paranoia.|
Diary By Christopher McCarthy Entry 1 - Day 1. Today I decided to begin keeping a written record of my thoughts in this journal and update it daily or whenever I think I really need to. I'm not really sure why I'm doing this but all the same every fibre in my body tells me that it is the right thing to do. I have crazy thoughts and ideas sometimes now that mostly come creeping into my mind late at night when I can't sleep. They seem either so ludicrous or terrifying that I actively try not to think them. These thoughts are always there in the deepest corners of my mind waiting for the times when I become scared enough to start thinking them and this is occurring more and more frequently these days. Recently when I am finally able to sleep I have dreams where I see a small cream painted room with only a bed in it and a window which overlooks a field. I feel as though I've been there or seen it before. I know that I have some connection to that place but I don't know what it is. I'm not sure why but I'm terrified of that small room. It's them. I know it's their fault that things have come to this. Entry 2 - Day 2. I can't go outside the house anymore. I realised today that I haven't left the house in about four days. But of course I can't leave the house. If I do they will be watching me. Well they are always watching me but in here I am safe at least. I can protect myself from them though they still try to spy on me. That's why I keep the blinds closed for most of the day and I dare not open a window though the house is now often far too warm to bear. I haven't worked out who they are yet or why they are so interested in me but I will because I see this now as the sole reason for my existence. Entry 3 - Day 3. I definitely underestimated them. They are far more sneaky and resourceful than I had initially suspected. Today I noticed a robin perched on a fence in my back garden. He kept looking towards the window I was peering from and then he flew to the ground and cleverly began pretending to look for worms in the soft earth but I know what he was really doing. He was one of them. Entry 4 - Day 4. After yesterdays scare with that bird I knew I had to do something to defend myself from them so i got up at dawn this morning and spread poison all over the grass in the garden to kill those bloody birds. It worked. In fact it worked so well that I started to cry at some point as I watched them dying. There were at least a dozen lying there when I went out with my refuse bag to dispose of the little things. I then waited all afternoon by the window but not many birds came back into the garden for the rest of the day. I don't think many will be coming here anymore. I beat them this time. Today was a good day. Entry 5 - Day 5. I'm still having those dreams about the small room but am no closer to realising what that place has to do with me. Maybe it's some place I visited as a child but deep down I know it is more serious than that. A tall man came to the door early this morning dressed in a nice black suit. He rang the bell and waited an awfully long time for an answer. My stomach began to feel queasy at the thought that he was so close to me and all the time I was thinking to myself why wont you go away? Eventually he did. By that time I was feeling very ill indeed. He went next door and rang the bell. When my neighbour answered the man started talking to her about insurance or something. I think he was one of them too. What if I had answered the door to him? What might have happened then? That got me to thinking about the postman and the milkman because they have had access to my house the whole time. I'm very upset with myself that I didn't think of this earlier. Are they against me as well? I will definitely have to think about this some more. Luckily I don't get much mail anymore but I think I will stop drinking the milk. I will have to be more vigilant in future but I'm so tired these days. That's probably part of their plan. Wearing down my defences before they strike. Entry 6 - Day 8. Not much sleep as usual last night. Somewhere close by there was a dog barking for the whole fucking night. I know it was one of them. Why wont they just leave me alone? It's not fair for them to continue doing by night what they do to me constantly during the day. They are trying to find different ways to get at me. It's a game of cat and mouse with my sanity and my life as the stakes. I worry so Click here to read the rest of this story (121 more lines)
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