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Smoke in Wonderland (standard:fantasy, 2683 words)
Author: hvysmkerAdded: Apr 10 2004Views/Reads: 2689/1631Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Loosely based on the Louis Carroll story, but with an Adult Bent. Profanity and Adult subjects. A slightly different Wonderland.

WARNING, If you're an anti-smoker, better stop reading or you may be
smoking at the end. ----------------------------------------------- 

Little Alice was told by her teacher that smoking was very bad for
people.  Alice's daddy not only smoked cigars but sold them for a 
living.  This made poor Alice very confused.  Her daddy was nice, how 
could he be doing something so bad? 

Maybe he didn't know it?  That must be it, her daddy hadn't heard about
it being bad for you.  She had to tell him, so he would stop.  The 
teacher said it was bad for Alice and even her pet rabbit Snowball and 
all Snowball's little baby rabbits, too. 

That day, when she got home from school, she had another idea.  Maybe if
she took all his cigars and threw them away before he got home it would 
make it easier for him to quit.  She thought that was a wonderful idea. 

Alice went into the room where he kept them and brought them all out
into the living room.  It took her a lot of trips, since he had a lot 
of cigars, and even a lot of cigarettes.  All different sizes and 
brands, but she did it. 

“Now, what can I do with them?”  She thought. If she threw them out in
the trash he would find them and bring them back inside.  If she hid 
them in the attic, he would find them.  There were too many to take in 
the little basket on her bicycle.  What could she do with them? 

She still had a few hours before her mother came home from work.  Maybe
her mother could help, if she explained why she was doing it?  “No, 
that wouldn't help much.  Even if her mother would help, they wouldn't 
have time before daddy got home.” 

“I know,” She exclaimed out loud, “I'll throw them away in Wonderland. 
The Red Queen will help me, we're friends.” 

Little Alice booted up her father's computer.  It was her window into
Wonderland.  She keyed in the address of Wonderland, and waited for it 
to come up.  While she was waiting, Alice laboriously wrote a note, she 
was learning to write in school.  She didn't have time to visit today, 
but figured they would help her out anyways. 

When the site came up, Alice took all the cigars and cigarettes and
tossed them through the monitor, into a big pile on the other side.  
Holding on to the rim of the monitor, she jammed the note on top of the 
pile, between two cigarette cartons.  She piled on a couple of packs of 
lighters on top to make sure it didn't blow away.  Then she turned off 
the computer. 

When her daddy got home, she tried to explain, but he got mad.  He
didn't even believe her teacher.  Everyone knew that teacher's didn't 
lie.  She could hear him in the kitchen arguing with her mother. 

“What the hell are those fucking schools teaching now.  She said she
threw the fucking things away because her teacher said smoking was 
killing us.  The fucking shit they teach these days.  I need those 
fucking samples.  How the hell am I expected to put food on the table 
without product to sell. 

“Goddamn, there must have been a couple hundred fuckin' dollars worth in
there, all fucking gone now.  It'll take me days to get more.  Shit, I 
had fifty dollars worth for Woolworth's alone in that room.” 

“Now Harry, it wasn't her fault.  The teacher shouldn't have been
talking like that.  I know there's no proof or anything, you explained 
it to me well enough.” 

“She won't be able to sit down at school tomorrow, not with the sore ass
I'm going to give her.” 

“Now leave her alone, she didn't know better, Harry.” 

She was even more confused now, she was just trying to help is all.  Now
she was in trouble.  She would probably even get a spanking.  What was 
wrong, did the teacher tell her wrong? 

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