|THE MAN WHO TIDIED UP THE PLANET (standard:science fiction, 1207 words)|
|Author: Danny Raven||Added: May 14 2004||Views/Reads: 2053/1209||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|Darcy owns half the planet Earth and decides it needs tidying up!|
THE MAN WHO TIDIED UP THE PLANET by DANNY RAVEN Having recently completed yet another business deal which netted me yet another billion, I was relaxing one evening on a favourite balcony of my modest five storey mansion, enjoying brandy and cigar. If truth be told, I was actually starting to feel at rather a loose end, the inactivity of the last few days beginning to jar and I was unconsciously searching around for my next project. A non-business deal this time - something that would satisfy the aesthete in me. In a happy act of serendipity, I discovered it ! As I glanced beneath me at the exquisite pale blue, sub-lit waters of my diamond shaped swimming pool, I noticed that many of the sun-loungers which bordered it were slightly askew - not arranged in their usual preferred neat lines. I also observed that several of the sun-umbrellas on the pool-side tables had been opened at different angles, the entire area creating an impression of gross untidiness, a subject which deeply bothered me. It was perfectly obvious then that the pool area needed tidying up, which led me to thinking that probably so did the mansion and probably so did the grounds and this is where I joyously encountered serendip ! If my own home required tidying, then why not other peoples ? Why not the towns and villages ? Why not the countryside ? Indeed, why not the planet !? It must have been brewing in my subconscious for quite some time now as I travelled world-wide on my frequent, lucrative business trips - the general sloppiness and disarray I encountered practically everywhere must have penetrated without my noticing and gradually grated on my nerves. So that was it decided - a grand, general tidy up, financed and organised by myself. Actually I didn't really envisage much opposition to the project, mainly due to the fact that I owned most of the planet anyway. Naturally, as an example, I decided to put my own house in order first and started the following day. I had noticed a cut crystal ashtray out of position in my West Wing study and in the East Wing library, the Seurats hung millimetres out of line. All this untidiness was swiftly remedied. The Gauguins and Van Goghs had to go. They had been bothering me, to be honest with you, since their acquisition - all that gaudy colour carelessly splashed around with no thought for symmetry at all. No. They wouldn't do. Much better with Seurat and those perfectly arranged pointillistic dots. My own mansion now in perfect order, I turned my attention to the houses of my neighbours. When I say neighbours, I mean they were a modest heli-car ride away - after all, I owned the surrounding land for twenty square miles. Some of them quite docilely allowed me to tidy up their homes and gardens, others were persuaded for an agreeable fee but a few proved stubborn although not impossible. One such difficult case involved a group of so-called musicians. Their villa and gardens were an absolute disgrace - empty bottles, broken glasses and all manner of clothing and other unspeakable items strewn everywhere. Suffice it to say, they resisted all attempts to have them tidy up and were, on occasion, exceptionally rude regarding my suggestions. Eventually I lost patience and was left with no choice but to have them, shall we say, removed. Permanently. I had them replaced with some of my perfect android doubles. To this day, no-one has noticed the difference and they are still doing well in what I believe are known as 'The Charts'. You see, that's where I aquired my practically incalculable wealth. No, not 'The Charts' - the androids, or Droids as I prefer to call them. Darcy's Droids, as they are affectionately known by the general populace. So beautifully, so wonderfully life-like are they, that it is absolutely impossible to differentiate between them and human form. Indeed, the President of a minor country is one and the Prime Minister of another is married to one but only I know that ! It is only I on the entire planet who knows how to tell the difference and I'm not about to give that secret away, am I !? Click here to read the rest of this story (54 more lines)
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