|Quick and Dirty (standard:Psychological fiction, 2550 words)|
|Author: Devin B. Wieland||Added: Oct 06 2005||Views/Reads: 1801/1161||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|Quick and Dirty follows the decline of a mentally unstable 25 year old. In short, this man believes he must return to kindergarten in order to get his life back in order. But things don't go so well when he tries to spend a day at Greene Elementary.|
Quick and Dirty By Devin B. Wieland Recently I heard the saying, “Everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten.” And it made me think that I must have missed something. I was alone at my kitchen table on a Tuesday morning. I always eat breakfast alone. Not because I want to, just because there hasn't ever been anyone that has wanted to dine with someone like me. Sometimes I wonder why I even have more than one chair at the table, it only serves to remind me that there is no one sitting across from me. It was quiet in the kitchen that morning. I sat in the silence and thought about the night before. I had done some things I shouldn't have, and the police had warned me that if I caused any more trouble, things wouldn't be good for me. It started when I decided to go out for dinner. I was by myself and I chose to try the buffet just down the street. Dinner was fine, but when I asked the waiter for a take-home box, that's when things got out of hand. Apparently the diner didn't give take-home boxes because it was a buffet and, naturally, they didn't want people taking home full meals. But I had paid for my meal, and so what if I felt like eating it later. Anyway, I ended up talking to the manager, but he only reiterated what the waiter had told me. So I hit him. Then some of the other men in the restaurant were getting up from their tables and coming towards me, so I grabbed a handful of food from the buffet line and headed out the door. I had enjoyed the leftovers for breakfast that morning. After that I was just sitting at the table and looking at the empty chairs. Some time passed, then I got up from my seat and arranged the chairs more neatly. I admired the perfect symmetry in silence for a few moments. Then I opened the window of my second story apartment and through two of the wooden chairs out of it. I waited for the crash of the chairs hitting the pavement below, then I closed the window. There were still two chairs at the table, one for me, and on just in case I ever found someone that wanted to eat with me. But I knew that the only way that would ever happen was if I could find out what I had missed in kindergarten. I would always be alone and unsuccessful unless I could figure out what everyone else had learned in kindergarten that made their lives so much better than mine. I sat back down at the table and put my head in my hands. I was losing control and I knew it. I remember sitting there and thinking that it had to happen today, otherwise I couldn't go on. I was tired of working at fast food restaurants or at the laundromat, but most of all, I was sick of being alone. I looked at my watch and realized that I needed to leave for work, but I didn't move. Going to work wouldn't get me out of the cycle I was stuck in. My job was pointless and I worked with other people who hadn't paid attention in kindergarten. No, in order to break this cycle, I would need to backtrack. So I decided to do just that. Instead of going to work, which was currently at Arby's, I would go back to kindergarten for a day. Maybe I should have thought about this decision a little longer, but my mind was made up and I was out the door before I realized what I was getting into. My parents gave me a car for my sixteenth birthday. I thanked them profusely for it, then I drove away in the night and never went back home. But that was ten years ago, now I was about to start making them proud. I was lucky that the car was still running, after all, it was older then I was. But without it I would have been taking the bus, and even that would have been hard for me to afford. After about ten minutes of driving, I came to the stoplight where I normally turned right to go to work, but today I went left. There was an elementary school a few miles down the road. I think it was called Greene Elementary, but I can't be sure because I didn't check it's credentials before deciding to go there. I parked in the back of the parking lot and waited for the busses to get there. I had Hoped that there would be some other adults who were going back to kindergarten that day, but when the busses started unloading, I realized that all of the students were very young. I was a little Click here to read the rest of this story (152 more lines)
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