Donald Doesn't Drive (standard:humor, 9191 words)
Author: J.A. Aarntzen	Added: Oct 30 2005	Views/Reads: 3674/5733	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
After being bitten by a dog, a man decides to sue the dog's owners.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

to her previous owners, Zesty's Body Shop, that keeping a yard dog was 
more a liability than an asset in protecting the shop during the night. 
 An electronic security system was a more secure system than a 
Rotweiler.  The security system would scare off vandals and burglars 
and not scare off customers the way Chelsea did.  Security systems did 
not have to be fed nor would they ever turn onto their masters.  
Chelsea liked her fenced in yard at Zesty's.  She was queen of her 
domain there until an attorney showed up on the day before Stacey was 
given the nod to nod off to sleep.  This attorney, this Hugh Huygens,  
told Zac Zestrowski, the Zesty of Zesty's Body Shop, the sad lay of 
Donald and Stacey Grodley and how at that moment in time it appeared 
that Donald was going to lose his leg.  Zac Zestrowski knew Donald.  
Donald had the body of his 1986 Toyota Celica redone at Zesty's.  
Donald had tried to sell Zac everlasting salvation but all that Zac 
could sell him was a six month warranty.  Hugh Huygens sold Zac a top 
of the line surveillance burglar system.  Besides being an attorney, 
Hugh sold expensive electronics on the side. 

Zac was not on Chelsea's side in the contest between animal and machine.
 Like the horse that lost to the carriage, the guard dog lost to the 
electronic surveillance system.  Chelsea was given a ride in a vehicle 
to the Humane Society where if nobody claimed her within fourteen days 
she would have maybe had a chance to take a bite at Donald's leg up 
there in heaven.  That chance never came.  Brian and Thelma Grodley 
wanted a dog to replace their dearly departed Stacey.  And upon seeing 
the broad, muscular chest of Chelsea, they knew that they had a fine 
replacement for their dearly departed dog.  Some cash had to dearly 
depart them as well for the cost of destroying one canine and saving 
another.  Brian and Thelma didn't have a savings account nor did they 
have the kind of insurance that would cover Donald's claim. 

Adam Tray claimed that Donald need not worry about the Grodleys coming
up short when the amputeed man pointed out that a stone cannot bleed.  
They made Donald bleed, he being a Christian should know that he now 
has the right to make them bleed.  An eye for an eye.  But if Brian and 
Thelma had no insurance, wouldn't this become more a pound of flesh?  
Donald wondered if his attorney was not some Shylock rather than 
Abraham.  He didn't want a pound of the Grodleys' flesh.  He rarely ate 
animal flesh, what would he do with human flesh?  Stacey had some human 
flesh, not quite a pound of Donald's human flesh, and he did not live 
much longer afterwards although the pound had him the rest of his 
living days. 

Thelma knew that Brian could not live the high life much longer.  He had
already been thought of as a low life by most of his neighbours before 
Stacey attacked Donald.  None of the people who lived in the homes 
adjacent to the Grodleys wanted to associate with them.  They were not 
hospitable to Donald either when he had come to spread the word in the 
neighbourhood.  Their doors had been kept shut when a well prepared and 
motivated Donald came up their front walks.  Thelma would have shut the 
door too but Stacey was already out in the yard when Donald came 
walking jauntily on two legs up the walk.  It was the last time he 
would walk jauntily on two legs and it was the last time that Stacey 
walked freely on four. 

Four hundred thousand dollars was what Adam Tray told Donald what his
leg was worth.  Donald had no idea.  Thelma Grodley had no idea either. 
 That was more money than a year's worth of jackpots at the Bingo.  She 
was lucky at the game but not that lucky.  Whatever she won, Brian 
would spend on drink and sleazy women who were attracted to what the 
Grodleys' neighbours would summarily call a scuzz ball.  Brian didn't 
care.  He had long ago given up on trying to be more than neighbourly 
with those that shared a similar zip code.  Perhaps it was his earlier 
efforts and escapades in being the man on the street that made any man 
on the street such as Donald that fateful day someone to be suspicious 
about. 

Chelsea, from her training at Zesty's Body Shop, was suspicious of any
man, woman or child, but she really mistrusted lawyers because of one 
Hugh Huygens.  When she saw another lawyer, Adam Tray, come up the very 
walk where her canid predecessor had thrashed an ugly wound in Donald's 
leg, she thought that such an action deserved an encore.  She bared her 
sizable teeth and had her hair stand on end on her back.   Had she a 
tail it would have been held in the question mark pose.  She had no 
tail since her first day of life but there was no question who her mark 
was.  Adam had the answer and was about to bolt until he noticed the 
bolt that held Chelsea and her chain securely fastened to a pin in the 
wall.  Chelsea would have had him pinned to the wall had not Adam 
quickly calculated the terra unreachable to the former body shop dog.  
Traversing this terra saved a definite tear in Adam's trousers. 

It was these trousers that Thelma first seen as Adam approached the side
door of the semi-split Grodley home.  Adam Tray as a child was a 
notorious bedwetter and with adulthood he still could not entirely 
control his bladder in moments of high excitement.  His bladder had 
felt the tension of Chelsea's provocations and it abruptly voided a 
small sample of its contents.  This was what Thelma noticed on Adam's 
trousers as he came to the door.  She had no idea how much this was a 
precursor to the way that she would feel when Adam left the door 
leaving her a notice of imminent court action. 

At that moment Brian was feeling imminent courting action at the First
Down and Ten, the local sporting bar where he was a frequent patron.  A 
woman who was not a frequent patron, in fact not even an infrequent 
patron, had accepted his offer to buy her a drink.  Gwen Palace often 
accepted drinks from strangers although she did not often accept the 
possible consequences that such social interaction might lead.  She did 
not want to accept any social interaction with Brian Grodley because he 
fit the category of scuzz ball in her taxonomy of the male human gender 
but she really did want the drink.  She always wanted the drink.  Gwen 
was an alcoholic who had recently moved to town when her former town 
would not provide her with the much desired drinks any longer.  This 
was her first time at the First Down and Ten. 

Brian's opening play was the purchase of Ms. Palace's drink.  This got
him one yard and it was now Second Down and Nine.  It would take him 
more than a yard of ale to go the full nine yards to get his first 
down.  He was not even at first base in Gwen's eyes.  By the time he 
was at his third down against Gwen's heavily stacked defense, Brian had 
to go to the defensive himself as Thelma found him and salvoed a volley 
of raves and rants about what one Adam Tray had served upon the Grodley 
nuclear unit concerning one dearly departed dog.  Gwen instinctively 
knew that no more drinks were going to be served upon her when Thelma 
appeared.  She would have to dip into her own purse and pull out the 
cash that she had managed not to spend in her multi-yeared alcoholic 
binge.  She had plenty of cash, Gwen had been a multi-millionaire 
heiress before she met her true love, Mr. Vermouth.  She was now a 
multi-millionaire drunk who knew how not to spend her money when she 
had willing patrons, even in places where she was not a patron,who 
wanted to pay homage to her frowned upon social habit. 

Adam Tray had concocted a way to spend Brian and Thelma's money even
though they were not heirs or heiresses.  They were not even heir 
apparents.  They were not parents and any money that they had always 
managed to vanish in thin air and usually places such as the First Down 
and Ten.  The Grodley's cash flow could be described as a torrential 
stream from its headwaters at the St. Dominic's Catholic Auxiliary 
Bingo to the wide delta of the town's watering holes, the First Down 
and Ten being one of the many spits.  Adam Tray wanted to construct a 
dam on this stream and divert most of the waters to Donald while making 
sure that Baines, Baines and Baines was amply irrigated. 

Upon hearing the news that his wife had brought him, Brian Grodley's
anger center in his brain was amply irrigated with a flood of 
neurohormones that stimulated that enraged response.  Brian's initial 
enraged response was to trash the collection of empty glasses set 
before him at the bar where he and Gwen Palace had previously sat.  
Gwen had a new seat now six stools away at the other end of the 
neon-lit bar.  A new glass was rapidly entering the state of emptiness 
there. 

The First Down and Ten was emptied of Grodleys in quick order by the
bartender, Hefty Heinz, who after throwing Brian out by the scruff of 
his collar returned to fill Gwen Palace's next order.  Brian did not 
have a collar for he was wearing a tee shirt but any one who had seen 
him would feel free to use the modifier "scruffy" in describing his 
appearance.  Brian did not care about appearances at this moment nor 
about modifying his behaviour.  He was filled with misdirected rage 
which wanted to vent itself on Hefty Heinz.  Thelma Grodley was well 
aware that Hefty was called Hefty for a reason and she was able to 
redirect Brian's rage.  This anger was still pointed in the wrong 
direction for now it had targetted Thelma herself.  Brian, who was 
feeling relief as his anger dissipated, did not care that he was 
creating a scene out there in the parking lot of the First Down and Ten 
by throwing a highly vocal and obscene tantrum towards his beloved 
wife. 

Obscenities had always played a significant role in the day to day life
of the Grodleys.  Obscenities did not even have the part of a walk-on 
extra in the vocabulary used by Donald.  He was aware of these words 
for they often appeared in the mouthes of others when he conducted his 
door to door mission for the Church of Jesus Christ and the Latter Day 
Saints.  As it so happens, Donald was on such a mission to the homes 
across the street from the First Down and Ten that precise moment when 
Brian was using a tirade of these invective curses in his monologuistic 
diatribe with Thelma in the parking lot of the sporting bar. 

How did Donald manage to get in such a vicinity after so recently losing
his leg, one might wonder.  Donald did so by hobbling on crutches.  He 
did not want to use his newly bequeathed disability as a crutch for not 
doing the Lord's business.  It was business as usual as far as he was 
concerned.  But the going concern at that moment was across the street 
in the parking lot of the First Down and Ten for Brian in his 
alcohol-enhanced outrage had shoved Thelma to the ground.  She may have 
avoided the stumble had she practical shoes but she insisted on wearing 
the almost stiletto-like high heel pumps that altered her center of 
gravity and her sense of equilibrium.  She may have added to the fall 
by not trying to regain her balance once Brian's hands transferred 
their inertia to her shoulders.  This allowed Thelma to lose the head 
upon her shoulders and she quickly regained her feet and slapped her 
husband squarely on his cheek.  It was the sharp crackling soundwaves 
of this slap that caught Donald's attention on the other side of the 
road. 

He did not know that he was indirectly the instigator of the marital
dispute and that these were the very people that were making him a 
litigator.  Thelma and Brian had not shown their face to Donald the day 
Stacey had shown to much of his face to the Latter Day Crusader.  
Thelma had been home at the time but she was hiding behind closed 
curtains hoping that the crusade would not sack her home.  In the end 
it was her dog that got the sack and her husband who got sacked at a 
local establishment which at that time was not the First Down and Ten.  
Brian was well established in all of the local taverns, roadhouses, 
hotels and sports bars.  But it was now at the First Down and Ten that 
Donald first met his legal adversaries.  But he did not know that it 
was them and he did not feel adversarial towards them, well maybe a 
little against Brian who was obviously either a well established 
wifebeater or somebody who was just beginning their career in that 
loathesome but still yet highly practised profession. 

Donald's estimation of Thelma judging by her clothing was that she came
from an even older profession.  To Donald what he saw across the street 
was a golden opportunity to save some souls.  He called out to the pair 
and told them not to move until he had a chance to talk to them.  Brian 
and Thelma did not hear him for they were too caught up in the heat of 
their dispute.  Donald did not have to fear losing his opportunity for 
the Grodleys did not mind making a public spectacle of themselves.  The 
neighbours on their street were often privy to their outbursts of adult 
languaged name calling.  Perhaps that was another reason they did not 
hold Brian and his wife in very high regard.  Had Donald the chance to 
speak to these neighbours he would have been asked to join in a prayer 
for a real estate agent to be hammering in a "For Sale" sign on the 
Grodleys' poorly kept front yard. 

There were no front yards where Donald was standing at the moment.  All
that was in front of him was four lanes of rather busy suburban road.  
The First Down and Ten was not near any corner.  There were no traffic 
lights nor stop signs or crosswalks that would aid Donald in making a 
quick and unobstructed one-legged traipse across the road.  The road to 
salvation is not an easy road and Donald accepted whatever lay in his 
path as a test of his faith.  His wife, Nan, at times found staying 
with Donald to be a test  because of his faith.  She did not share the 
evangelical devotion that he had although she was a firm believer in 
Jesus Christ and that he had made an appearance in the Americas as the 
Book of Mormon proposed.  They both wanted to be Americans but Nan did 
not want to be an Apostle where Donald found it impossible not to be an 
Apostle.  It could almost be his creed.  This creed which was not part 
of Donald's and Nan's marriage vow was now leading the one-legged 
driven man across a road driven by many two-legged men and women with 
heavy feet.  Had his wife, Nan, been there to witness his action, she 
would have proceeded with divorce action. 

Thelma was even closer than Nan in bringing to fruition a divorce action
against her husband.  Brian wasn't much of a husband at all.  Donald 
had his mission, Brian had his admission of being an adulterer.  In 
this state, adultery was grounds for divorce.  In the state Donald was 
in any vehicle could have driven him to the ground.  He was allowing 
blind faith to get him across the street.  He trusted his fellow human 
beings not to run him over and the drivers going down the street must 
have harkened to his faith for none of them managed to sustain a dent 
in their cars as the hapless man on a mission hobbled his way across to 
cross paths with a cross man and wife. 

The man and wife's dog, Chelsea, who had taken advantage of the fact
that Thelma had been negligent in assuring that the dog was adequately 
penned when she had rushed off to confront her husband, had followed 
the familiar scent trail between the Grodley's home and the First Down 
and Ten.  It also happened to be the route to her old home, Zesty's 
Body Shop and whether Chelsea was going to Zesty's or to the First Down 
and Ten would never be known as Chelsea, like the rest of her kind, was 
a creature of few words.  When her visual senses took over in the final 
stages of the trail, her canine brain interpretted the data as a man 
with a pair of weapons about to attack her new masters, Brian and 
Thelma.  Had Chelsea been schooled to make discerning evaluations of 
the implements of human beings, she would have known that the weapons 
in question were in fact a pair of crutches used to aid the man in 
walking.  Chelsea was not schooled this way even though she may have 
had aspirations of being a seeing-eye dog.  These aspirations would 
also never have their veracity verified due to Chelsea's silence.  Like 
her seeing-eyed cousin, she did want to help her masters and from what 
she could see of the situation her masters did need the help. 

Donald's blind faith made him blind to the fact that he was in the
sights of an over-protective Rotweiler.  He was only a matter of feet 
away from the squabbling couple, when a couple of slavering fangs took 
the last of his feet away.  Chelsea's four feet were planted firmly on 
the interlocking bricked sidewalk as her head was engaged in unlocking 
the alleged assailant's remaining leg.   Donald yammered in agony as he 
used one of his crutches to beat the dog on its head.  A yelp from what 
some people affectionately call a Rottie loosened Chelsea's mouth from 
Donald's heavily bleeding limb.  The man wanted the dog to bleed as 
much and continued smashing the splintering crutch over the canid's 
broad back. 

Brian only witnessed a stranger viciously attacking his dog with a heavy
wooden object.  He objected to this treatment and at once gave up on 
brawling with his wife and proceeded to pummel the stranger who was 
pummeling his dog.  Chelsea whimpered away as her new master came to 
her rescue.  Had she a tail long enough to go between her legs, that 
tail would have been there.  Thelma swore that her husband would never 
be between her legs again while Donald literally had no more leg to 
stand on.   He collapsed to the sidewalk with the first blow that Brian 
successfully landed.  The blow to his head from the sidewalk made 
Donald lose his consciousness and forever never be able to recall these 
last few moments that had transpired along the side of a busy suburban 
road. 

Someone who would be asked to recall these last few moments during the
criminal trial of Brian Grodley was one Dr.  Lee Chan, a periodontist, 
who happened to be driving by during the altercation.  Dr. Chan was 
driving his leased Honda Accord down the boulevard and had seen Donald 
beating the dog and Brian coming to the distressed creature's rescue 
and giving Donald what appeared to be a rugged shove.  Donald's 
criminal attorney who happened also to be his civil attorney as well, 
one Adam Tray, told the court to shove Dr. Chan's testimony to the 
side.  How did Dr. Chan explain the ugly festering wound shaped like a 
dog's mouth on Donald's leg?  The wound was festering because Donald 
once again refused to see a doctor.  He would not lose this leg 
however.  Intervening factors came into play before the gangrene had a 
chance to set.  Dr. Chan did not have to answer the question concerning 
the existence of the dogbite-like wound on  Donald's leg as the 
Grodley's court appointed attorney adequately pointed out that Dr. Chan 
was not a witness to what may have happened previously. 

Donald, himself, did not know directly what had happened previously,
although he had his suspicions.  These memories were obliterated from 
his memory.  Thelma, who also had been witness to the event, proclaimed 
that she did not see anything, she protecting the husband who was 
getting in the habit of beating her.  She did not want to see him 
beaten.  There were other witnesses who had seen everything happen on 
that road on that afternoon but the court  never saw who these 
witnesses were for not one of them ever stepped forward.  Stepping 
forward to give a possible explanation for the wound was the Grodley's 
court appointed attorney who pointed out that Donald may have sustained 
the wound either when he was originally attacked by the Grodley's 
former dog, Stacey, or he may have received the wound from Chelsea in 
an act of self defense on her part and that the whole question of this 
wound was immaterial to the present case at hand. 

On hand to witness the court case was a court reporter for the local
biweekly tabloid newspaper.  He was hoping to have the famous man bites 
dog story for the weekend edition of his rag.  But the story that would 
have to be told to the community early Sunday morning was that one of 
the partners in Baines, Baines and Baines would be announcing his 
intentions to run for public office.  This announcement said to Adam 
Tray that there could ostensibly be an opening in the firm for a new 
partner.  But by that Sunday morning, he knew that the new future 
partner would not be him.  He had lost a routine assault case to a 
court appointed attorney from the public defender's office.  Months 
later this court appointed attorney would defeat the partner at Baines, 
Baines and Baines in the election and no opening would ever appear in 
the firm over this exercise in democracy. 

Still believing in democracy and remaining firm even after the court had
turned against him was Donald.  It was more difficult for him to stand 
firm given the severity of the wound inflicted upon him by Chelsea and 
how the community had rallied behind this poor, mistreated animal.  The 
court reporter had chosen to print a picture of the Rotweiler with his 
tongue hanging down from his mouth.  Under the picture was the caption, 
"Dog Still Manages To Smile."  This picture and the ensuing story of 
how the dog was maliciously beaten in public by a crazed cult member 
put a smile on the Grodleys' faces as well as the public lavished money 
and gifts upon them to help them keep poor Chelsea healthy and happy. 

They were not aware that their money instead was winding up in large
bundles at the First Down and Ten.  Brian Grodley never had it better.  
The female patrons in the sports bar listened sympathetically to 
Brian's sad lament of how his poor creature had been so savagely 
attacked by the crazed cult member.  Even the neighbours in the 
Grodley's neighbourhood were sympathetic to Thelma and felt a refrain 
to look down their noses upon her and her husband even though they 
still felt the urge to do so. 

Looking down his nose at the paperwork involved in the civil litigation
against the Grodleys, Adam Tray knew that he would have to do a lot of 
work to rehabilitate his client, Donald, in the public eye.  Even the 
other members of the Church of Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Saints 
had issued a statement disowning Donald as one of theirs.  The senior 
partners of Baines, Baines and Baines threatened Adam Tray that they 
would disown him if he proceeded with the case.  Disowning was better 
than disbarring in Adam's eyes.  He had agreed to be Donald's attorney 
long before Donald had acted so disgracefully in public.  To decline 
legal services to Donald was to decline him his legal rights and the 
attorney's healthy cut in a lucrative settlement and that to Adam was 
tantamount to not behaving in an ethical manner and that to him was 
grounds for personally disbarring himself. 

Hefty Heinz wanted to disbar Brian from the First Down and Ten for
Brian's behaviour had grown more lewd and lacivious since the famous 
court case.  The detectives investigating the case and Adam Tray had 
asked him if he had seen any of the alleged altercation.  Hefty who had 
been to trial over other altercations and who had seen the peculiar 
path of justice in the past told both parties that he had not seen 
anything although he would admit to close personal cronies that he had 
seen everything.   He had thought that he had seen everything until he 
saw Brian engaging himself in behaviour so outrageous upon the dance 
floor of the First Down and Ten that he could no longer keep his rage 
in.  It had to come out.  Out came his heavily knuckled fists which 
landed directly to the pulsing vein on the side of Brian's temple. 

Donald was in the temple trying to reason with the elders to not pass
false judgement upon him when the judgement came down upon Hefty Heinz 
in a no-contest assault case at court.  The manager of the First Down 
and Ten would have to manage with a sixty month jail sentence as well 
as the medical costs sustained by Brian Grodley in recovering from a 
terrible concussion that made the man partly blind in his left eye for 
the rest of his life.  Hefty would have served the rest of his life in 
jail rather than repent for his violent attack upon Brian so outrageous 
in his opinion was the victim's behaviour. 

Brian, recognizing a cash cow when he saw it, milked this victim's
behaviour for all of its worth.  The owners of the First Down and Ten 
had made it clear to him that he would never have to pay for his drinks 
there again.  This made the sports bar very popular in public opinion 
and business went up there dramatically afterwards.  Although Brian 
would never again do the act publicly that had so vexed Hefty, he did 
engage himself in all forms of naughty shenanigans that amused the new 
patrons. 

Becoming a well-established patron of the First Down and Ten was Gwen
Palace, the financially secured lush who had been there the day Chelsea 
attacked Donald.  She had not seen any of this turmoil nor was she 
approached by the detectives or Adam Tray.   They had been told by 
Hefty Heinz that Gwen was too inebriated at the time to remember 
anything.  She did remember Brian Grodley and it was because of Brian 
that she was now a regular at the bar.  She had taken a fancy to him 
and all of his bad boy notoriety. 

Taking note of Ms. Palace's fancy for her husband, Thelma Grodley had
decided that she wanted no more of the man.  She had retained Hugh 
Huygens to be her attorney at law to take action against her husband.  
She originally wanted the court appointed attorney who had successfully 
defended Brian in the assault case but this attorney was now seeking 
local political office and had decided to divorce himself from his 
connection with the socially deviant Grodleys.  Hugh Huygens accepted 
the retainer since there was to be a lot of money to be extracted from 
the now lucrative Grodleys seeing the large dollar value of damages 
going their way from Hefty Heinz. 

Chelsea did not like Hugh Huygens since the day this opportunistic and
capitalistic barrister persuaded Zac Zestrowski to rid himself of the 
dog in favour of the high-tech electronic surveillance system.  Since 
Chelsea's removal from the premises at Zesty's two attempted break ins 
had occured but each attempt had been foiled not by the surveillance 
system but by Zac himself who had recently ran into his own marital 
problems and was now using his body shop as his principle place of 
residence since his prior residence was now the sole domain of his 
separated wife.  Neither Zac nor his wife had retained Hugh Huygens as 
their attorney.  They neither opted for Adam Tray or the court 
appointed attorney who was now an aspiring politician.  Zac and his 
future ex had thus far not brought in any third parties to work over 
the nest and nest egg that had been the Zestrowski estate. 

The state that the elders of the community temple of the Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter Day Saints found Donald in on that day when the 
blackballed man who became recently physically challenged was not what 
they desired to be a representative of their faith.  They preferred 
that he no longer make his devotions at their temple and they stated 
rather strongly that the disabled man seek his salvation directly from 
the Lord without having them act as go-betweens.  Going between their 
words, Adam Tray thought that Donald had a strong case of 
discrimination against the Latter Day Saints and urged the miscreant to 
take legal action against the Church for reparation of damages 
equivalent to the price of eternal salvation that the Church had 
promised Donald when he was first recruited as a disciple long ago when 
Donald was a teenager with two legs.  As a teenager Donald was given to 
understand that his only hope of achieving heaven was through the 
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  Now, the elders had 
thwarted this expectation and Donald was not to be going to expect to 
go to heaven at all.  All and all Adam Tray estimated that the dollar 
value of such an action would be in excess of one hundred million 
dollars and he told Donald dollars to donuts that they had a strong 
legal case because of broken promise. 

The Grodley's marriage had been a broken promise.  Brian and Thelma had
promised each other that they would love, honour and respect each other 
until death do them part.  Death did not part them but rather Gwen 
Palace had parted them and Hugh Huygens wanted that part of them that 
could be translated into cold, hard cash for his pocket book.  He 
booked the divorce hearings with the court the same day as Adam Tray 
booked Donald's lawsuit against the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter 
Day Saints.  It was late in that day and the two counsellers decided to 
dine together and they told each other of each other's cases and thus 
breached their respective clients' right to confidentiality but they 
kept this information confidential to themselves and both were 
confident that Thelma Grodley would take Brian Grodley to the cleaners. 
 Neither felt any confidence in Donald's case but Adam Tray told Hugh 
Huygens in confidentiality that this case would get national attention 
and there would be many dividends for him to collect upon taking the 
Church to court. 

Years earlier Brian had courted Thelma to Church but neither had been
there since and Brian had not been to the cleaners since he and Thelma 
had parted company.  The company he now kept was considered socially 
unclean yet Gwen Palace still believed in clean clothes and she had 
Brian take his wash to the cleaners.  Clean, Clean, Clean the 
drycleaning outfit in town had Baines, Baines and Baines as their 
attorneys and had Adam Tray do most of their legal work.  Now that Adam 
Tray was out of work with Baines, Baines and Baines, Clean, Clean, 
Clean were being actively pursued by Adam to move their business from 
Baines, Baines and Baines to his practice.  It was not the practise of 
this cleaning outfit to be unloyal to those that served them well but 
Adam Tray still tried to coerce them into doing business with him.  In 
fact, that afternoon when Brian Grodley was bringing in his unclean 
clothing to Clean, Clean, Clean, Adam Tray was in the backroom trying 
to be persuasive with one of the cleaners' major shareholders, one Gwen 
Palace.  She was the reason Brian selected Clean, Clean, Clean to do 
his cleaning.  She had recommended it and told him to use her name when 
he dropped off his clothes. 

Brian wanted to drop the clothes that he was wearing when he saw the
lady who served him.  She was a striking beauty whom he had never 
before seen in this town and he had thought he had seen them all.  
Trudy Bayfield, the striking beauty, had thought she had heard it all 
until she listened to the complete catalogue of Brian Grodley come on 
lines.  She was paid to listen and to make out the bill which always 
had to be prepaid but she would not make out with Brian.  His clothes 
were dirty and his mind was dirty and she believed in cleanliness.  
Trudy was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints 
and a saint of any day, Brian was not.  He was not even a patron of 
Clean, Clean, Clean and yet the man would not prepay and had the 
audacity to say that he was the major shareholder's fiance. 

Fiance or not, he still had to finance the prepayment of the cleaning,
Trudy Bayfield told Brian Grodley who's temper was being lit.  Gwen 
Palace was half lit in the backroom with Adam Tray at the time, her own 
temper was being stoked by the relentlessness of the man, but half lit 
or not, she recognized the straining voice of Brian's coming from the 
counter.  She came out and encountered a raging man ranting and raving 
at the hired help.  Gwen did not help the help but ratified the ranting 
and raving of the raging man by dismissing Miss Trudy Bayfield.  Adam 
Tray had to keep Trudy Bayfield at bay as she hissed her own torrent of 
foul invective at both Gwen Palace and her misanthropic boyfriend, 
Brian Grodley. 

Brian recognized Adam who recognized Brian.   They had been on opposite
sides of the courtroom when Donald was publicly chastised as an animal 
beater.  Brian, who was a wifebeater, had beaten Adam in court that day 
and on this day he wanted to physically beat the attorney for stepping 
in on a labour dispute between an employer and an employee.  The 
employer, Gwen Palace, had to restrain Brian from carrying out his 
desire to fruition even though Adam Tray goaded Brian Grodley by 
calling him a fruit.  It was a fruitless situation and Brian eased off. 
 Gwen did not let Trudy off easy.  She was fired.   Gwen did not let 
Adam Tray have her business.  She threw him out of the shop and as the 
attorney stepped out onto the parking lot of Clean, Clean, Clean he was 
already talking to Trudy about pressing charges against the cleaners 
for wrongful dismissal.  Trudy wanted to dismiss the case since she was 
planning to quit soon anyways but she decided to make an appointment 
with Adam to discuss her options. 

The law firm of Baines, Baines and Baines were disgusted that their
former associate, Adam Tray, would be bringing legal action against one 
of their clients, Clean, Clean, Clean.  They wanted to pulverize the 
little upstart and were thinking of bringing action against him for 
trying to tamper with their clients since this was proprietal 
information that Adam Tray upon joining the firm of Baines, Baines and 
Baines had agreed to leave sacred if he ever left the them, was using 
against them. 

Nothing was sacred to Adam but the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day
Saints was sacred to Trudy and when she inadvertently discovered that 
her lawyer was trying to bring the Mormon Church to court, she 
dismissed him at once.  Wanting to re-miss was Thelma Grodley and she 
wanted Hugh Huygens to expedite the divorce proceedings against Brian 
but the civil court docket was well filled up with lawsuits and nothing 
could be rushed.   The docket had Donald suing the Grodleys over the 
loss of his leg, Donald suing the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day 
Saints, Grodley vs. Grodley in a divorce case, and Zestrowski vs. 
Zestrowski in another divorce case.  The criminal trial of Hefty Heinz 
had come and gone but there was also upon the docket, Brian Grodley vs. 
Hefty Heinz over the loss of eyesight, and Brian Grodley vs. The First 
Down and Ten because Brian realized that if that sports bar 
establishment was willing to give him free drinks then they must be 
culpable and therefore should be willing to give him much more.  There 
was also the Baines, Baines and Baines vs. Tray antitrust suit. 

Not trusting in a "suit" to look after his legal needs, Brian Grodley
had decided that he would act as his own counsel in his suits against 
Hefty Heinz and the First Down and Ten.   This suited the latter two 
parties just fine.  They knew that they would not get anything more 
than just a fine at the very most and quite possibly no action against 
them whatsoever.  Justice Lucas O. Fine was the magistrate who sat on 
these two proceedings and he had no problem throwing both out of court 
due to the legal ineptitude of Brian Grodley.  After the first case, 
the Hefty Heinz one, he asked Mr. Grodley if he would rather have legal 
representation and when Brian declined, Justice Fine had Brian thrown 
out of court. 

Out front of the court, the legal reporter was able to interview both
Hefty Heinz's attorney and the team of barristers that represented the 
First Down and Ten.  The reporter soon had two stories for the weekend 
edition of the paper concerning countersuits against Brian Grodley from 
both Hefty Heinz and the First Down and Ten who went as far also to 
state that Mr. Grodley would no longer be receiving free drinks from 
their establishment, in fact Mr. Grodley was permanently banned from 
entering the sports bar. 

With the headline "Sports Bar Not Good Sports in Barring Brian" greeting
the community on Sunday morning, one would have thought that the town 
would have rallied behind Brian and boycotted the First Down and Ten.  
But such was not the case, it was now football season and there was no 
establishment in town that had more satellite T.V. coverage of the 
games than the First Down and Ten.  Brian was last year's Cinderella 
team, this year he was the defending champion and everybody likes to 
see the champ go down. 

Going down to the First Down and Ten that first Sunday of the brand new
N.F.L. season was Gwen Palace.  Her boyfriend was banned from there but 
she no longer thought of him in that way.  Brian couldn't get her her 
free drinks any more and she never saw anything more in him than this.  
Their relationship was through.  Thelma was through with Brian too and 
she was through with the divorce action.  Brian now had no source of 
income and to divorce him would be nothing but to spend money on 
lawyers and she had little money to spend and the little that she had 
she would rather it be spent at the Bingo hall on a bank of cards and 
Nevada tickets.  Her luck was not good of late but she knew that that 
would have to change before it would eat up all of her small change. 

Changing his tactics somewhat after hearing about Brian's dismal display
before Magistrate Fine, Adam Tray knew that he had to somehow have some 
legal foot to stand on in Donald's suit against the Church of Jesus 
Christ of the Latter Day Saints.  Donald was barely left with a foot to 
stand on but there was no sympathy factor at work for him in Judge 
Fine's court.  The court of public opinion had not even stood with 
Donald in the assault trial against Brian Grodley.  He was thought of 
as an animal beater and that label had far more negative connotation 
than the positive connotation of being a cripple.  It was stacked 
against him and this stacking was precisely what Adam Tray was going to 
play on in the case.  Judge Fine was not a sentimentalist and how Adam 
was going to portray Donald was as a very negative character who 
society could barely condone but and this was Adam's big but even 
marginal shady pariahs had rights guaranteed them according to the 
Constitution and these rights included the freedom of religion.  The 
Mormon Church by doing their version of an excommunication was 
infringing upon Donald's right to practice the religion that he 
chooses.  Adam Tray was hoping that this was a big enough but to 
impress Judge Fine to find for his client. 

Gwen Palace was never worried that her butt was big enough.  She had an
hour glass figure with the accent on the bottom of the clock but she 
had butted into Brian's life a little too much of late and he was not 
very happy because in his eyes his life had become ashambled.  Learning 
from the shambles that his legal cases were of late, he decided that he 
would take the law into his own hands. 

Everybody's hands were on the paper the next day reading about how a
crazed Brian Grodley had murdered execution style a well-to-do lush in 
the parking lot of the First Down and Ten.  Brian had obeyed the 
restriction against him not to enter the bar but he did not obey the 
sixth commandment in the Hebrew-Christian charter that stated "Thou 
Shalt Not Kill".  He was quickly apprehended on the scene by local 
police who had been called there by I.R.S. agents who were staking out 
the First Down and Ten for possible tax infractions.  Another 
infraction that Brian Grodley was charged with that night was resisting 
arrest and it took a bullet in his abdomen to make him see resistance 
was futile which were the very words uttered by the Borg on a rerun of 
Star Trek Voyager playing in the bar that very fateful night.  On 
another station, ESPN were showing highlights of the prolific career of 
Bjorn Borg, the tennis great from the 1970's and on the sound system 
Neil Young sang about Mother Nature on the run in the 1970's. 

Brian could no longer run in the 1990's.  He had to forego going to the
police station as his wound dictated that he should be taken to the 
hospital so en route to the emergency room his rights were being 
dictated to him by one of the arresting constables.  At the same time, 
the circumstances of the murder were being dictated to the reporter who 
no longer was on Brian Grodley's bandwagon.  The Grodleys had once 
owned a station wagon but at the time of their separation, they owned a 
minivan that was behind on its payments and was likely to be 
repossessed by the bank.  Thelma Grodley was by the bank when she heard 
news of what had happened at the First Down and Ten.  She was driving 
home in the minivan from another losing night at the Bingo hall when 
she was pulled over by the police.  She did not think that she had been 
speeding nor had commited any other traffic violation but her very soul 
was violated when she was told about what Brian had did and what 
happened to him. 

At the hospital, Brian was quickly rushed to the operating room for
surgery to remove the bullet that was lodged in his belly.  The bullet 
was accompanied by a lot of alcohol in there as well.  Brian had drank 
a well full of vermouth earlier that night.  The vermouth put a slur to 
his mouth while his vile actions put a slur on the townspeople's 
mouthes the next day upon reading about the reprehensible act.  The 
reporter made the common folk feel pity for the dead Gwen Palace and 
pity as well for the living Thelma Grodley who even after all that she 
had been through was keeping a steady vigil at the hospital where 
Brian's condition was listed as critical. 

Very few can be usually critical towards a dying man but unusually they
can.  Critics came out of the woodwork inciting how unsavoury and 
unwholesome Brian Grodley was.  These very critics had forgotten that 
only a short time ago they had lauded the man for defending his dog.  
Chelsea was in the doghouse when all of this happened.  Donald was 
still in the doghouse himself when all of this happened. The reporter 
had chosen not to mention that this murdering Brian Grodley was also 
the same Brian Grodley that had been acquitted of the assault causing 
bodily harm charges against Donald.  So as the reporter painted Brian 
as a villain he failed to villify the villain's most recent victim. 

Feeling that she was just as much a victim of the entire affair was
Thelma Grodley who had been the victim of a marital affair between 
Brian and the late Gwen Palace.  Brian had done much to make her life 
miserable yet she could not leave his side during his misery.  She 
prayed that the Good Lord would show mercy to her estranged husband and 
that he would survive the gunshot wound.  Also praying for his survival 
was Adam Tray.  He did not want to lose an antagonist in the civil 
proceedings between Donald and the Grodleys from the lost leg lawsuit.  
Donald, however, did not pray for Brian's survival.  He did not pray 
for his death either.  Donald did not pray anymore because the Church 
of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints forbidded him to worship with 
them.  However, Donald was not forbidden to read the Sunday paper and 
he read about the murder at the First Down and Ten parking lot.  He 
thought a lot of crime was happening there.  He had been assaulted 
there even though he could not remember it.  But he did remember 
Brian's name and he did remember that it was Brian who had allegedly 
assaulted him.  He had felt it to be an insult that the community had 
not stood behind him and rather chose a retired junkyard dog to stand 
behind.  Not even his Church at the time had stood behind him and 
looking behind himself now, all that he could see was the money-hungry 
Adam Tray.   Adam Tray was not really behind him physically but in 
Donald's mind he saw the snivelling ambulance chaser there. 

The ambulance had already come and gone with the wounded Brian Grodley
when Donald decided to make an appearance at the hospital himself.  He 
had not appeared there when he had sustained the initial dogbite from 
Stacey nor did he show up there when the flesh wound from Chelsea 
started to grow infected.  But he was at the hospital now.  He walked 
upon crutches although Adam Tray had urged him to obtain a wheelchair.  
But the wheels of Donald's mind were spinning on something else.  
Retribution. 

He managed to elude the nursing staff at the nursing station near the
trauma unit where Brian was being held.  There was an armed policeman 
standing guard at the door where inside Thelma Grodley grieved and 
Brian Grodley was in a semi-comatose state attached to a spiderweb made 
up of tubes entering his body at all manner of points.  Donald asked 
the policeman to point out the room of some fictitious person whom the 
policeman in his duty to serve felt obliged to find the answer for 
Donald.  In doing this serving he failed at his other prime duty, 
protecting.  Brian was not being protected when Donald burst into the 
room with a firearm that sent a volley of bullets into him.  Some of 
these bullets also fell open Thelma Grodley.  In a matter of seconds 
the community had no more Grodleys and in a few more seconds the 
community was made up of one less Donald as the policeman was quick to 
shoot down the man who had so easily fooled him. 

The policeman was made to look the fool at the investigation that
followed.  Adam Tray had desperately sought to be the policeman's 
counsel but this assignment was given to the new junior partner at 
Baines, Baines and Baines.  Hugh Huygens had done well for himself 
since he had so lucratively administered the Gwen Palace estate and was 
quickly recruited by the firm who had also assigned him the account of 
Clean, Clean, Clean.  Hugh no longer went after the Zestrowski divorce 
case.  This was handled by the young public defender as his last bit of 
business before taking on his role in the government seat that he won 
in the election.  One of his first pieces of business in the 
legislature was to grant Hefty Heinz a pardon in the assault case that 
had sent him to jail.  The sentence was judged to be too harsh given 
the nefarious character of Brian Grodley.  Upon release from prison 
Hefty Heinz went to that other type of prison and rescued one female 
Rotweiler by the name of Chelsea.  She was slated to die since no one 
wanted her but Hefty gave her a reprieve as well. 

Not getting a reprieve posthumously from the Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter Day Saints was Donald.  They could never condone his murderous 
behaviour and stated in one of their sermons that they believed Donald 
to be in Hell.  Donald, being dead, did not know where to believe he 
was or if whether he had been reunited with his leg.   All that was for 
certain was that he did not drive any more for the day that he was 
buried a letter arrived at what was his home informing him that his 
license had been revoked by the State. 


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