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Getting Along (standard:Flash, 590 words)
Author: Reid LaurenceAdded: Jun 29 2006Views/Reads: 2435/0Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Why can't everybody just get along? I never could quite answer that question, but in my own strange way, I've finally begun to try.

“So... them homersexials gonna get married now, er what?” 

“Huh? What are you talking about?” 

“You know the ones. They was jes talk'in ‘bout ‘em on the radio. Them
ones in Massachusetts.” 

“I don't know Reid, what if they do get married? Is that going to hurt
you in any way? Will it even have the slightest impact on your life? 
Can't you just drive me to work, we've been all through this before.” 

“Ah know, ah know. But it's the sanctity a marriage what's at stake
here. Course it ain't gonna hurt me in perticuler. Hey, ya know what 
this all reminds me of?” 

“No... what? I'm dying to know.” 

“What the preseedent said ‘bout ‘once, shame on me. Twice, shame on me'.
Er was it ‘twice shame on me, one time... shame on you twice?' Oh, ah 
don't know now, but anyway, you kin see mah point can'tcha?” 

“I have no idea what you're talking about. Could you please just stop
crawling along in traffic, I'm gonna to be late.” 

“It's God hiself ah'm talk'in ‘bout woman. God don't want no homos
gett'in it on tagether!” 

“He is not a hateful God, Reid. If you really want to know what I think,
I think He just wants us all to get along, be productive and do 
whatever we can as individuals to improve living conditions for 
everyone around the world.” 

“Ya still don't see mah point, do ya? Lemmie give ya an example. You
know that goat ah'm fix'in ta buy ta keep the grass short?” 

“Yes Reid, we talked about it. You're too damn lazy to mow the lawn so
you thought you could get out of it if you bought a goat. Yes, I  
recall you mentioning it.” 

“Well naw, what's ta keep me from up an marry'in her? If them
homersexials kin do it, why can't I?” 

“You are sick, you know that? What on earth made you think of that?” 

“Well, fer one thing, if God don't care ‘bout the homos, why would He
care ‘bout me an Gerta? It's the same thing, don'tcha see?” 

“No Reid, I just don't see your point. For one thing, same sex marriages
take place between people, not farm animals. What you're talking about 
is bestiality, not marriage.” 

“No ah ain't, ah'm talkin ‘bout animal husbandry. Now... it's a
scientific fact that ah could be a husband ta old Gerta the goat cause 
science got it all classified down. So if all you people who don't 
believe in God gonna stand there an let the homos get married, then why 
can't I marry Gerta. Bah the way, she is kinda sexy look'in naw that ah 
think ‘bout it.” 

“I swear Reid, sometimes I can't believe what I married. Thank God I'm
here at work now and I don't have to carry on this conversation 

“Well, you do yerself a favor naw Mary an think over what ah been
say'in. Ah bet after a while, you'll be see'in things mah way after 
all's said an done.” 

“Maybe... if someone put a gun to my head, I would. In the meantime,”
said Mary, as she opened the door of the old pick-up truck to get to 
her office. “I think I hear Gerta calling you. Why don't you two go on 
a picnic or something? You know, break the ice, try to get to know each 

“That's a mighty fine idea Mary, ah think ah jes might do that. Ah bet
she's fond a carrots.” 

“Go for it.”


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