The Chance (standard:romance, 2979 words)
Author: Cheryl Ann	Added: Sep 04 2006	Views/Reads: 3511/2271	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
This is a story of a chance taken, a chance missed and maybe a chance for a happy ending

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

would never know, and I had always played by the rules when it came to 
relationships.  Nice women are not always available, nice women make 
men really work to get a response; nice women are not open and honest.  
I am a nice woman; I am also a truthful one, so with a click of a 
button my life moved into a new direction.  We spoke, he was so kind so 
sincere, could I possibly meet him the next day, he had an appointment 
not exactly close to where I would be but close enough that a nice 
lunch could be accommodated.  It was time to take the chance.  I 
agreed. 

I traveled back to my daughters home, I was conflicted and full of self
doubt, was I doing the right thing, did I appear too eager.  I decided 
not, I was being myself; I was opening doors that had been closed for 
so long.  I didn't sleep that night, consumed by fear and sure that he 
would call the next day and cancel.  He did not.  He called and he 
truly wanted to see me.  To meet me!!!!  It had been so long since I 
had felt a man touch my hand. To have a man look at me and tell me I 
was worth anything, to make me feel as though I existed as a woman. 

I of course was not ready when he arrived, but another surprise came my
way.  He was so kind, so personable; he sat and spoke to my daughter 
while waiting for me.  When I finally came into the room his eyes lit 
in delight.  I felt as if I was the only thing in the room, all 
material possessions and people had faded into the background.  My 
heart stopped and I walked to him to reach for his hands, he held me 
and it felt so right. 

As we drove to a restaurant we talked we laughed we held hands and time
flew as it had never done for me before.  All too quickly the afternoon 
was over and he took me back to my daughters and right there for her to 
see and for me to feel, he kissed me and said he would call so that we 
would meet again.  I felt alive, I had not realized what a prison I had 
built for myself, how isolated I had allowed myself to be.  All due the 
fear of being hurt again. 

What happened next is and will most likely remain a mystery, I stood in
the middle of the room after he left and placed my face in my hands and 
I wept.  Not silent tears that can be easily hidden, this was a flood 
of tears and my dear child said to me, “Mother what is wrong”.  I held 
her beautiful face in my hands and I said, these simple words, “He was 
nice to me”.  Such simple words but she understood.  I had been so hurt 
so betrayed so sorely used in the past that it was a heart wrenching 
moment that caused me to be emotionally overcome.  He was nice to me, 
and all I had been was myself. 

Of course the call didn't come the next day, or the next.  I returned
home and I fearfully checked my computer screen.  No message, and no 
phone message, nothing.  I was not angry, I was hurt, but I 
rationalized things in my mind.  I obviously was not what he needed or 
wanted regardless of the bolt of lightening I had felt upon our first 
meeting.  It had not been reciprocated.  So I did what I do when I am 
hurting, I became quiet and I moved around my home, picking up this and 
that, trying to chat lightly with my youngest child who still lives at 
home with me, but she knew, she knew.  She encouraged me, she said, 
“Mama don't be so hard on yourself, perhaps something really did come 
up, don't lose your faith again Mama”.  I prepared for another long 
night with my heart so heavy that I wanted to cry out “dear God, please 
release me from these feelings, it was only a chance meeting after all. 
 Just because the earth shook for me didn't mean he even felt a tremor. 
 But he didn't seem to be that way; he was so genuine, I was so sure 
that there was a chance.  A chance for two souls to share something 
special. 

The phone rang; I jumped as rarely will I get a call after nightfall and
especially since I had not told anyone when I would be back at home.  
It was him on the phone.  I could not help but be happy and to allow 
that happiness to be heard in my voice, he asked if I would like to see 
him again, I heartily agreed and without hesitation, he then asked 
would I like to see him right away as he had taken a chance and was 
only 30 minutes from my home.  Remember we live many miles apart, quite 
a chance on his part to jump in his car just to come and see me, to 
spend a few hours in my company.  I was thrilled at the opportunity to 
see if what I had felt the first time I saw him was real.  I quickly 
made myself presentable, fearful that he would not like my home, I 
hadn't been home long enough to really make it as presentable as I 
would have liked, but he has assured me that he was coming to see me!! 
Not my home!  Just me. I tried to relax, I quickly checked my fridge I 
had just a couple of soda's and absolutely nothing to offer him but me 
and a soft drink. 

He arrived after a few false turns and a few laughing conversations as I
gave him directions to my home.  I felt so comfortable with him.  I had 
not had a man in my home though, not in nearly a year, but this time 
was different.  He really wanted to see me, I needed to put my fears 
away and keep my promise.  I was going to be just me. He came into my 
home, he met my child, we spoke, and we laughed. We were soon alone in 
my living room.  Our conversation had run the gamut of family, of 
joking, of flirting of fleeting touch.  I told him of my concerns of my 
fear at moving too fast, and he so clearly stated “now would I have 
driven so far to see you just to use you?”  Trust began. My feelings 
were very strong for this man and I knew he felt the same, I could see 
it in his eyes, I could feel it in his touch, and I took a chance. 

I allowed him into my heart and into my arms.  I was unafraid, he asked
me to look at him, to look at him as he kissed me and held me and our 
melding of bodies began and I truly felt that I had done the right 
thing, I was unafraid.  I was me.   All too soon he had to leave, we 
had spent hours together closer than many people ever have the 
opportunity to be, and I felt safe, hopeful full of faith and trust.  
He said he would call the next day, and wonder of wonders he did.  I 
could put my self doubts and fears away; I am a grown woman who took a 
chance, a chance that would change my life. 

Things change.  I waited for a call, a note, I sat at my computer
screen, not idle, working at my small business but always looking at 
that little screen that would indicate he was trying to reach me.  If I 
had to leave I checked my messages as soon as I returned home, I sent 
him a note, I gave him my cell phone number, now I wouldn't miss his 
call, and he said he would call.  I believed in him and I believed in 
myself. 

Silence, then a hurried call from him, family problems, and serious pain
could befall his family, I cared, I understood, I feared for his pain 
and I prayed for his family to have peace even in this difficult time.  
I waited. 

No Call, no note, but he had not been on any computer site that we were
both active on so I believed he was truly out of touch due to his 
family needing him.  I waited, knowing that I had been myself with him 
and that he knew it.  I trusted him with my heart. Another day had 
passed and no word, but there it was a date on a shared site that was 
proof positive that he had had the opportunity to send me a note, after 
all if he could check into a shared site surely it would be just a 
short time until I would hear from him. Perhaps he was seeing if I was 
available, checking to see if I had left him a note.  I had left him 
notes, encouraging words, and then words to the point where I was 
feeling like a fool.  I so wanted to believe that he was real, not just 
a dream, not just another blip on my screen, not someone that would 
break a little piece off of me and throw it away as if it were nothing. 


I did something I had never done before, he may not believe it and he
may have thought many things, I will never know.  I picked up the phone 
and I called him.  Did he know what that phone call cost me??? Did he 
know?  I cold hear the difference in his voice, I was intruding, I 
didn't belong, and I was shamed.  Oh he was not cruel in words; he made 
promises that would not be kept.  He left me without ever knowing me. 

Some may say that I brought this on myself.  I should know better, I am
certainly old enough to know the Rules of the Game.  But we had 
promised no games.  I keep my promises.  I trusted my foolish foolish 
heart and I will never be the same. 

Oh it was too soon for love, I know that rationally. I can give myself
all kinds of reasons why I did what I did.  The pain is mine and I will 
carry it and I will live with it.  I took the chance with my heart and 
with ME.  I was just me.  I opened my life to another human being and 
now I cannot take it back.  I still feel like there was something 
special with us, between us, but will he ever take the chance?  Will he 
ever know what I gave to him?  My true self, my trust, my faith in him 
and in life.  So few times in life do we take a chance and really let 
someone in.  Really let someone close to us regardless of the price, 
because we believe they are taking that same chance. I had been alone 
so long, and I so wanted to believe that being me was special.  I was 
wrong, I am nothing special, and I am just a woman.  A woman with so 
much love and truth and honesty in me that I was willing to take the 
risk of allowing someone into the deepest regions of my soul, mind 
heart and body. 

Today, I have no hope, no faith; I was finally me and thought I had
found an opportunity to let my soul touch another's soul.  I was wrong 
and I have paid a huge price.  I will never again feel the freedom to 
be myself, to walk out on faith, to trust that when I give myself to 
someone, they will know I am giving them the gift not just of my body 
or my laughter or my loyalty.  I will Never take a chance again. 

When you walked out of my door, knowing you would not return, you took
from me something only you can give back.  My faith in you.  I still 
believe that were destined to meet, destined to love and destined to 
hold each others hearts safely in each others hands. 

There is only one way to make this a true love story.  Not even a story,
a real life experience.  You have the chance to find me again. 


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