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Politics, I Hate The Word As I Hate All Politicians And These... (standard:Satire, 1207 words)
Author: Reid LaurenceAdded: Nov 03 2006Views/Reads: 4080/1679Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
This story, which is really a humorous remark on a recent senate debate in Missouri brings with it an actual, tragic point. A point which is difficult to ignore... that being, that there are so few politicians we can trust, just what difference does it ma

The senate race - in my opinion - is nothing more then a knock down;
hair pulling; eye gouging; scratching, kicking, slapping, punching, 
childish dispute between two people who already have enough personal 
wealth between them to buy the office in question outright - if such an 
office could in fact be legally purchased - but instead are compelled 
by gluttony, (for want of more of everything and anything... like 
stoking the fires of a great and growing need for attention; the 
accumulation of wealth and self-idolatry) to ‘debate' for it, if indeed 
such an embarrassing and barbaric televised argument between two such 
adults could be described by a word that might otherwise have carried 
with it some civilized connotation, all with the purpose ascribed to it 
of showing that we can settle our partisan differences, resulting in 
and revealing to the public at large, that getting along with one 
another in order to work effectively together may not only be 
accomplished, but I have to say facetiously... realized in our 

To me, two such self-important, greedy combatants never need be
associated with any high level government platform, which will only 
serve in the end to feed already acquired bad habits, causing conflict 
between co-workers all the more. 

In fact, all I need do to illustrate my point is to repeat some of the
dialogue of the televised event that went on in my state just a few 
short weeks ago. After reading it, I'm certain that any citizen of 
democratic society will see my point, at least well enough to agree 
that we have a problem in this country in the way we elect 
representatives of the people, by the people, and for the people. 

This so-called debate between Ms. DeClair MyCastle and Mr. Rhym Liq'ueur
went exactly like this - or anyway, as well as I can remember it did... 

“She runs a meth lab in her office!” 

“That is the most ridiculous accusation I have ever heard, but coming
from a man who works such long hard hours in public washrooms from 
coast to coast, what more do I need to say in my defense other then, ‘I 
sincerely hope you're satisfied now Mr. Rhym Licker.'” 

“That's Liq'ueur. Mr. Rhym Liq'ueur, but what would you expect from a
lady who shoots meth daily, gives rambling speeches like Hitler and 
hasn't paid her taxes since the end of the Civil War - which I might 
add didn't end the way her family would have liked it to.” 

“How dare you! I have been a tax paying citizen of Missouri all mah days
and none a the slaves on my plantation have ever once accused me of 
unfair treatment or harsh living conditions. Shame on you Mr. Rhym 
Licker for using this debate as a weapon against my personal integrity. 
Your bombast is a reflection of the type of race you've been running 
from the very start. A mockery of my stainless record as a selfless 
servant of the people.” 

“That's very funny coming from a person who runs nursing homes down to
the ground, sets fire to them to collect on their insurance and gets 
away with it all. Hey, that reminds me, I've been meaning to ask you 
who your lawyer is. I bet he'd like working for the Liq'ueur machine... 
er, team I meant to say. Why don't you give him my card? I'd like to 
meet him sometime.” 

“Sure, just tell me what washroom you'd like to meet him in. Then you
can get right down to any of those swelling, urgent interests you've 
been known to have acted on so often. Which brings me to my very point 
Mr. Licker... just what is it that you feel you've achieved since 
you've taken office. Please, tell me. Tell us all. The entire 
television audience - millions of people - are waiting breathlessly to 

“I...” muttered the senator, as a feeling of desperation and a sincere
loss for words fell over him like a darkened cloud. No thoughtful means 
with which to muster any answer seemed to be at his disposal, until 
finally, like the guiding light required to find one's way around just 
one of Ms. DeClair MyCastle's huge homes, the always unjustifiably 
proud senator, undaunted by Ms.  MyCastle's high spirited attack 
replied...”I helped ban gay marriages in this state for one thing, 

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