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Mail order Bride (standard:romance, 3358 words)
Author: stanley mcqueen kentucky backwoods writerAdded: Apr 09 2007Views/Reads: 2740/1613Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
tales of the old days

Mail Order Bride 

Paw set before the table he is sopping brown gravy with one of Mammy big
cat head biscuit. Its going to be and exciting day here in Muddy Fork 
country, facts is that Mammy single brother Uncle Melvin Bishop , had 
found a picture book at the boarding house and inside its pages was a 
order form to order a man a wife, so him being single and almost forty 
two now and the poor soul don't have a wife.Paw and Mammy are both 
saints of the Little goose chapel church, and they don't thinks such 
doing is right in site before the lord, but Melvin being a man given to 
drinking moonshine spirits has a different outlook on things, Melvin 
makes whiskey and that goes against Mammy and paw religion, Mammy has 
tried to years to get him to become a member of the little goose saints 
, but he want bulge, I think Melvin like the good life of drinking and 
such, he is the type of person that don't set any value on clean honest 
living, that don't hinder Mammy from loving his soul , and by the way 
he is Mammy only brother left alive. I better let you in on how things 
are here in Muddy Fork , well our township of Muddy Fork country is no 
more than a wide place on the wagon road , the out laying ridges are 
dotted with crude log shacks and people around here are corn farmers, 
simple folks I guess you could call us all if you had us all in a 
barrel, the two persons that can read and write in our little town is 
the  teacher her name is miss web and  .our preacher rev steed..,   She 
is trying to learn folks to read, when someone get a letter from 
educated kin folks she has to come to their shacks and read the 
letters.... It don't take no more than horse sense to plant a crop of 
corn, and paw said he thinks learning to read is a waste of a man time, 
our good Rev Tom steed can read the words in the good book to those who 
can't read and that suit paw well...By the way my name is Oliver Bishop 
I'm the only son born to Nanny and Arthur Bishop , I just turned twenty 
two last Tuesday well let me get back now to the my old sot Uncle 
Melvin, he come up with the idea of getting the school teacher to help 
him fill out the order form to order him a mail order bride, him being 
a man with several dollars laid aside from moonshine spirits sales, paw 
said this was the mark of the beast him doing such deeds and that the 
lord would be coming soon to get the saints of Muddy Fork, and leave 
old Melvin behind and send his soul to the torment of hell for doing 
such a evil deed, Melvin don,t pay no mind to Mammy and paw warnings he 
just want a wife to help him take care of that old run down shack of 
his and do the cooking and such, Paw said once that Melvin had climbed 
ugly tree and fell out and broke ever limb as he tumbled down, and that 
why he is so blamed ugly.... I took a look at the picture book that the 
wife was order from ,,and they had posted a picture of several women a 
man could order and knowing old Melvin he picked the best looking one 
on the page, and I can't say as I blame him for that , a man can't pay 
hard eared dollars for a ugly gal , I know he ain,t so smart in books 
and such but he is a fair trading man and has a good eye for doing 
trades and such... It was on Friday when she was to arrive and nearly 
ever corn farmer in these part was gathered at the wagon post to view 
his new bride , paw and maw had me to hardness the mule team early so 
we could get to a good place to look at the new woman who was to be Mel 
new bride to be...   When we arrive in town many wagons, set along side 
the muddy streets of our small township , folks were eager to see what 
she was going to look like, nobody here had ever seen a Mail order 
Bride before, I was thinking this was the biggest thing that had happen 
here for many a year now... It was near noon when the wagon stage 
pulled into Muddy Fork township, the driver was dusty as usually and 
then the got down the wagon and delivered the mail bag to the post 
master Fred Owens.. The he open the stage wagon door and helped a 
pretty woman from off the stage couch old Melvin was wandering and 
stretching that skinny neck of his to see over the folks in his front. 
Is Melvin Bishop in the crowd asked ?The pretty woman as she scanned 
the crowd with her pretty blue eyes..Here I am he shouted to her Im 
Melvin Bishop . The pretty lady walked toward him and every eye from 
Muddy Fork county was on her, Melvin was all slicked up and had what 
look to be about a pound of bear grease on his hair, he had that old 
suit coat on that Mammy brought his several years back, he was a site 
for sore eyes for sure.. The pretty women was wearing a pretty blue 
dress and fancy ear rings were tingling on her ears, nary one of us 
from these parts had ever seen such a fancy lady especially this far 
back in the sticks. It was a site to behold, and I was thinking maybe 
about saving my earned saw mill money and maybe ordering me one if they 
all would be this good looking, paw eyes looked to be bulging out of 
his sockets, he was like me purely amazed at what he was seeing... She 
walked over to Uncle Melvin and reached her slim hand out as if he was 

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