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preacher cowbell (standard:Inspirational stories, 2633 words)
Author: stanley mcqueen kentucky backwoods writerAdded: Apr 19 2007Views/Reads: 2383/1748Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
backwood theme with some humor

Backwood writer Stanley M cqueen Preacher Cow Bell 

look who's” coming down the wagon road son pa said”its' that Uncle of
yours' pa added”sure enough it was ma, brother uncle cow bells, that we 
were seeing from the porch stoop, it was that time of year again , he 
come every year about corn planting time to whole a two week revival 
meeting at the little goose chapel church, setting atop his old mule 
his slim wiry frame was slim just like his razor blade mule he 
rode..”.well pa said” I expected him any day now and there he comes 
just like ever spring... Pa don't cotton to preachers much he always 
said a man who don't get blisters on his hands to make his bread and 
keep isn't worth his salt.. But pa puts up with him because of mammy 
knowing he is her brother.. Cow bell comes nearer and pa says howdy 
real loud so cow bell will know we are aware of his presents here.. 
Boys I see you fellow are taking a resting spell here on the porch 
stoop, it's a good day for leisure for sure he adds”well we just 
planted and acre of corn seeds, this morning “pa replied” and we are a 
might tuckered”well its so good to be back here in the Kentucky  
mountain again and boys I had a time riding all the way from Virginia , 
me and that old mule of mine isn't getting no younger he said smiling” 
pa tells me to take the rein of his mule and water him down at the 
creek. And cowbell takes a seat by pappy on the porch stoop.. Ma 
discovers her brother and come from the shack and greets him away with 
a hug..Good to see you again she said” and I'll have some grub soon ..I 
bet you're hungry., I could eat a sow and seven pigs he said laughing 
at his own returned into the kitchen and begins fixing 
supper .. Well Tom how things been here and about asked uncle Cow 
bell.?. Well fairly good for the most part. Pa answered' I have a 
question for you pa blurts out” what that cow snapped” you know what 
old hank storms told you last year when you held your meeting don't you 
recall pa asked” yes I recall he said he would kill me if I interfered 
with his whiskey sales with my Gospel preaching he said” but that don't 
bother me at all he explains” im a man of faith and no body cannot lay 
a hand on me lest the lord would allow him he explained” pa looks sort 
of stern faced at him at his words, and said I never took you for a 
fool until now he blurts out , but that Hank is the meanest man here 
and about these parts and he makes illegal moonshine whiskey and he 
don't aim to see his whiskey sales got to pot, because of some hell 
fire preacher like the likes of you pa snorted” where is your faith 
uncle Cow bell asked”making pa, look at him ever more angry like... 
well bullets don't have eyes preacher man pa muttered” you ain,t been 
here fifteen minutes and we are arguing again just like always pa 
snorted, it don't do a man no good at all to try and get some smart 
into a thin headed preacher like you paw said”     Here you are coming 
back to meet you fate he will as sure put a bullet in you as im living 
pa warned”I want be afraid of what man can do to me , uncle cow 
declared” a man is not called on to fear men but to   the fear the lord 
which is the beginning of wisdom...hush that up pa blurted “I don't 
hanker to have to dig a hole to put you in there on the ridge paw said 
? But you are just asking to be shot down like a hog at slaughter .your 
as nervous as a harlot in church   cow bell told pa,, and that made pa 
face light up like a beet pickle... I don't  want to speak another word 
about this subject ,,I getting riled pa admitted” ma called us for 
supper setting and she noticed that pa and uncle cow bell was not 
talking and she told the two of them she never like them fighting and 
arguing in her shack and before me little Frank and me being almost 
twenty four now but to ma, I m just still a little fellow.. Well Sara 
pa said that fellow who is gobbling down his supper is going to be shot 
and I was trying to make him see just what kind of trouble he is in by 
coming back here to preach is all I was doing was for his good pa 
declared” well he is a hard shell Baptist and us Baptist ain,t scared 
of nothing, ma Brags' well im a Methodist and go across the hill from 
your church and us Methodist has some faith too but we got smarts along 
with our faith pa said” now Tom one more foul word about my Baptist  
faith and your dinner plate with be threw across the creek maw warns 
poor old pa... two against one just don't somehow seem fair to me,as a 
listener and knowing I get railed in ,he middle of a faith fight, so I 
had learned to be as quite as a church mouse during a religious 
spat...where is you charity ask pa ? And then it happen maw took mad as 
a hornet and grab pa half full plate and went to the shack door and 
whirled his dinner plate plume across the creek that was a little way 
from our shack... cow bell laughed and then maw poured a bowl of warm 
soap beans over his head.. And I desired to be outside at the moment of 
this uproar, our supper had turned into a bean spilling and a plate 
toss. And things were getting worse.  Ma temper was easy riled and she 

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