|let me live again.. (standard:Inspirational stories, 1160 words)|
|Author: stanley mcqueen kentucky backwoods writer||Added: Jul 23 2007||Views/Reads: 2128/0||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|Man find peace in God|
Backwoods writer Stanley mcqueen Let ME Live Again Time had brought me gray hair and a wrinkle face , most people don't even live to seventy years old , But God has granted me this age, living on this little Kentucky farm and being married to the wife of my youth Sara who passed away about six years ago. Leaving me to a lonely cabin and four walls of despair, Our two son lived now up in Ohio and both married and with family of their own to tend two , the two visit some along and bring my grandchildren to see me and visit .but not so very long , My Sara was the love of my life , she was such a good soul and loving person and sickness took her away at the age of Sixty five , I was five years her senior and we had been married forty years, we together had run this farm growing corn and tobacco and raising what ever we could to make and honest dollar. I recall when the day ended in the summer time me and her would set on the porch stoop and watch the cattle pick along side the ridge that was before the cabin, we would talk about the farm and the crops and enjoy being able to live way out in the country side and not jammed up like other people are that live in tight settled places, many a warm summer day we would go fish in the river under the shade of the giant trees that over shadowed the green river that run through our land, I recall how excited she would get and the smile she had when she landed a big fish from the river, and how she would boast when she caught a bigger fish than me , I guess at her death I passed away also in heart, nothing interest me anymore nothing Is the same without her , it seems now I love in a null world of sadness and deep sorrow, ever things I see around the farm reminds me of her, Time has way of passing before we think and time will eventually find us all to its reality, yesterday I walked up to the point where I buried her and set on the bench I make and place along side her grave. Often I go there and set alone and recall the good times we had together as man and wife, how can a man live without his love, ? Why was she taken and why was I left behind ,? These thought haunted me and followed me as a shadow that was always with me .. Setting here beside her today at her grave im thinking on how much better I could have been to her, I could have helped her more and been more understanding as a man should toward his woman, thinking on how I had taken her for granted like most men do their loving wives, ever fuss we had every argument had come to my mind to haunt me and now with regret I would like to change the harsh words I uttered to her in rage of madness, why was these thoughts coming after she is gone , why was I being reminded of this now that I have no power to change? These thoughts continued to run threw my troubled mind, recalling what a good mother she had been in raising our two son , how she had cared and watched over the two like and eagle would its chicks. Recalling their childhood sicknesses how she would comfort them with a mother love and loving hand of motherhood, all these things was coming back to my mind now after she is gone, I recall the year that fever hit me and I was very sick near to dying and how she cooled my brow with cool spring water and help to live and not die, many things were being brought to light about how she has been toward me as a wife.. Sorrow is something hard to understand and hard to get rid of ...I recall how she would set before the lantern and read her Bible that was given to her from her mother that had been dead now for many years, if I could only have a little peace of mind about my life without her . How could I find this ? How could I escape this trouble grief stuck mind.. Setting in the cabin and doing nothing something compelled me to pick up the Bible that she kept laying on a middle table of the shack, I picked it up and open it up and within I found where she had wrote some words and I began reading..it was to me a message , it read this my dearest husband when you read this I will be dead , I know that because sickness has befallen me and a sickness unto death, I want you to know that you have been a good husband a man that my heart loves to the end of my days. You gave me two son which is no greater gift could you have give me... our loved combine in the two of them ...it is my hope that when you read this that your heart is not filled with sorrow and grief that I have passed on... as you know my husband I have faith in the God that made these beautiful mountains that have sheltered us and fed us its fruits.. My days have been wonderful as being your wife and best friend, husband don't think of me as being dead . Thinks of me as being in the present of the almighty God and before his throne..waiting on you to come to the place of peace and glory when no sorrow or death with ever enter its walls..it was God will that I die before you my husband , that this message would be written that you too would find grace and truth in God and that you too could live life again forevermore in the presents of the almighty God who would have all men to repent and not die but live forever more, with tears in my eyes I laid down the holy Bible I had in my hand and kneeled down and cried out unto God that I might live again , at these words there come a peace and joy inside my heart that I had ever felt before, the sorrow and grief was gone... then my thoughts are this even after she is gone she still has spoken to me threw her written words in the old family bible... now in my hearts mind I can see her standing waiting on me to come to her and live again in the presents of the lord God and his throne..... 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