|The Sight (standard:horror, 546 words)|
|Author: team katt||Added: Feb 27 2009||Views/Reads: 1630/0||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|I didn't know why I was where I was. Was I such a masochist that I wanted to see that room? No. I just needed answers. I needed to prove to myself that that room would be empty. That he really had left. I felt the merciless tears well around the rims o|
PART I Can't you see, I let go your hand, To wipe my own tears? I didn't know why I was where I was. Was I such a masochist that I wanted to see that room? No. I just needed answers. I needed to prove to myself that that room would be empty. That he really had left. I felt the merciless tears well around the rims of my eyes. Yes, I was a masochist. So much of one I was willing to rip what was left of my very own heart just to see that empty room. Oh, god. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I stay away from it? Because I was an idiot. A semi-retarded, masochistic idiot. And now, as I climb bear-footed up the cold wooden stairs, I realize all of this. Ugh. Why was this so hard? I keep moving upward, getting closer to fate with every progressing step. The tears spill over silently, but my face stays stone-set on my determined grimace. And here I was. Six inches in front of me was the door. His door. The door that would destroy me. My shaken hand reaches forward to grasp the brass knob. I suck in an unstable breath as I my unready arms lurch the door forward. Oh. My. God. The emptiness hits like I was kicked in the gut. I knew this was going to happen. I knew it. But why couldn't I ever admit to myself that it wasn't worth hoping for? That I was the reason things were this way. That I was the reason Erik left. Bile rises in my throat. My own brother. How could he? The only kind of guidance I had in my life and he could just walk away so easily. Did I need him more then he needed me? That much was obvious. Erik could be anywhere. This home wast just an easier way to get by. Numb. Empty. Shaken. I don't know how I'll ever leave. But I know I must. If I were to stay, I would never be a Keeper. And if that is what my calling is, I will do it. Erik never had a calling. So why was he gone? I once thought I was impossible to leave. To leave me. For me to leave him. But the reluctant answer of “no” washed that hope away like last night's beach tide. He knew I had so many problems. He knew. Just like he knew everything else. And with him out there in the world... I could so easily be exposed. Anger replaces the emptiness. Every inch of my being wanted to destroy Erik Steadman. The blood lust was irrevocable. No going back from here. So this was my choice? Not to wait for the right time, but to leave now and succeed the first test the wrong and untruthful way? No. If I were ever going to pass as Keeper, I would need learn to sustain anger. To let it thrive inside of me and build up a blockage. To block out the world. To block out... everything. Erik was now my main priority. He needed to be saved. I need not kill him, for he needed to suffer in this agony. As human. Tweet
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