|Being dead isn't so bad if your still alive (standard:adventure, 1593 words)|
|Author: stanley mcqueen kentucky backwoods writer||Added: May 15 2009||Views/Reads: 2620/1374||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|this story is about and old dumb country boys that plans his dead to see if his mountain girl friend loves him enought to marry him..|
Being Dead isn't so bad if your alive well maybe your wondering what happen to me , well my name is Clinton Bishop and I am twenty four years old and live right smack out in the backwoods of Kentucky, my parent are just common county folks that just had me the one , and paw name is Oliver and mammy she is called Lucy, we live in a small one room cabin, and paw owns just a about enough land to starve us all three to death is the corn crop fails that could well happen, well for the sake of time let me get right into my story and just bare with me a little and you'll see why being dead isn't so bad if your alive, it all started when I meet the a little pretty single county gal that move in these part just bout a month back, we both met at the cattle market in our little backwood wide place in the wagon road town, I feel plume in love with her she as pretty as hound ear , and sharper than a plow point in smarts, there was just one problem with her and me and his name was Lester snoot she has been sparking him before we started courting some time after, and I go to thinking she might love the rascal , because she kept mentioning him some as we talked and that never set well with me, I asked her to marry me last week and she said she would think it over, and let me know in about a month or so, and that got me to wondering was she still uncertain about which one of us boys she was going to settle for, it was then that I come up with and idea to become dead, and I would plan my death well and hide around and see if she would go back to him and start the courting she has left off, this was my way of seeing really was she worth marring in the first place, how to plan a death without being dead would take some deep thinking on just how to be dead , well the idea come easy I decided to have a friend report me being drowned in the muddy Fork river during a tide and I would be washed away and my body would not be found , that idea come right from the noggin of Richard my good old fishing buddy was smarter than a whip, It come a big storm and the muddy Fork river was out of banks and what a time to get dead by drowning, me and Richard took some food and hide in the wood so I would have something to eat during my death, can green beans and dried jerky we bought at the trade store would keep me from starving to death and really being dead I suppose, I told Richard a month supply would be enough to keep me being dead to eat on, Richard and I had this all planned out so perfect and this would test if my loving rosea would jump ahead and marry , well I hide in the woods and had Richard to go to my paw and maw and tell them I had tried to cross the muddy fork river and my horse fell and he stood on the bank and watch me drown, I knew maw and paw might cry a little and take on something awful me being dead now and washed away by the muddy waters of Muddy Fork river, but after they seen I was alive and just done this trick to see if pretty Rosa really love me or not, I figured if I be dead that she might go latch right back on to Lester shoot right fast like , and marry him and then I know she was not the right one for me to marry in the first place, Richard was suppose to keep me posted and watch her and see what she done after she found out drowned in the river, and I expected him to do that Job , he made me pay him twenty dollars for the job of watching and reporting to me, and I felt like that was fair enough, well being dead isn't as bad as I thought if you still alive, the woods bugs were the worse part of being dead, them mosquitoes, were bad this time in the summer season, it was a week till I seen Richard slipping to my death camp, he reported that maw and paw had took my death pretty awful , and that was not the worse part he advised me that maw had give all my breaches and clothes and even my razor away because she cannot stand to look upon any of my belongings, me being dead and all. I never figured on this happing and this has took a bad turn to the worse, he also told me that Rosa was seen in town with Lester snoot, and they were thicker than molasses, well that proved it I had not been dead a full week and she is back with old Lester snoot, and here I am now with all my clothes give away and all I will have now is the ones I am wearing my death clothes , and how maw and paw will take me being alive will probably be the death of me for real, after Richard left I done me some powerful thinking, a week had passed and I was getting awful tired of being dead, I would Click here to read the rest of this story (54 more lines)
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