SKYTREK - CHAPTER 5 (standard:humor, 3167 words) [5/15] show all parts
Author: Danny Miami	Added: May 13 2010	Views/Reads: 1955/1484	Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Chapter 5 of the comedy adventure.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

“Here they are, Captain,” Butch said, sneering at the prisoners. “The
Klinger scum we captured.” 

“Afternoon gents!” Dennis said, a friendly smile on his ugly, lumpy
face. “Anything we can do for you? Anything we can help you with? Any 
secrets you want to know?” 

“No talk,” Otto grunted, pulling at his arm. “No talk.” 

“Shut up,” said Dennis, pushing him away. “One of our Mother Ships is
just outside your scanner range,” he continued. “How's that for 
starters?” 

“A Klinger Mother Ship?” said the Captain, raising an eyebrow. 

“That's right,” agreed Dennis. “I'll give you its exact location if you
want plus details of what weapons we have, how many crew are on board, 
what our mission is. Anything you want to know, just ask. You never 
learn if you never ask, that's what I always say!” 

“Who's in command of the Mother Ship?” the Captain asked. 

“General Draygo,” Dennis answered, pulling a face. “Real bastard isn't
he, Otto?” 

“Bastard,” agreed Otto. “No let me go seaside.” 

“Hey Otto my man!” Ricky drawled, strolling over. “How's it going?” 

“Ricky!” grunted Otto, his thick features brightening as he recognised
him. 

“Do you two know each other?” the Captain asked, surprised. 

“Sure,” replied Ricky, a friendly arm round Otto's stocky shoulders. “I
traded the Pendant with him.” 

“The Pendant!?” Captain Kork said quickly. “Does he still--” 

“I can also give you details of where all the Klinger battle fleets are
just now,” cut in Dennis. 

“Later,” said the Captain, waving him away. “Where is the Pendant now?”
he asked Otto. 

Otto glared at him from beneath his thick eyebrows. “No tell,” he
muttered, drawing back and hugging his bucket and spade tighter. 

Butch Bradley swaggered forward. “Let's torture the bastard,” he
suggested. “Give me half an hour with him and he'll sing like a bird. 
Reminds me of the time we captured one of those--” 

“Spare us the details, Mr Bradley,” the Captain interrupted. 

“Would information about the new Klinger ship-to-ship codes be any use
to you gentlemen?” Dennis asked helpfully. “Or the spies the Klingers 
have in the Federation?” 

Butch took a step closer to him and stared menacingly into his eyes.
“Ever been tortured?” he growled. 

Dennis swallowed and shook his head. 

Butch grinned maliciously. “Want to be?” 

Dennis shook his head again. 

Butch's grin vanished. “Well shut the hell up or you will be.” 

Dennis' eyes widened and he jumped back, temporarily silenced. 

“I've got something here you might like, Otto,” Ricky said, slipping a
hand into his jacket. He drew out some glossy postcard-size pictures of 
naked women and held them up. 

Otto dropped his bucket and spade and made a lunge for them. Ricky began
backing off and Otto followed him, trying to grab the pictures. 

“You like these don't you?” Ricky said, laughing and holding them up.
“Oh yeesss!!” grunted Otto, trying to grab them. 

“Want them?” 

“Yeesss!!” 

“Still got the Pendant?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Trade you these for it.” 

“Yeah! Yeah!” 

“Where is it?” 

“Cabin.” 

“He means it's in his cabin on the Mother Ship,” supplied Dennis, unable
to keep quiet any longer. “It's next to mine on ‘D' level. If you go--” 


A glare from Butch silenced him. 

“So the Pendant's aboard the Klinger Mother Ship in Otto's cabin,” mused
the Captain. “How do we get it back?” 

“I could get it back for you!” Dennis piped up. “Be no trouble.” 

“And I could go with him,” volunteered Ricky. “Since it was me who gave
the damn thing away.” 

The Captain leaned against the wall and considered the proposal. “You
might get on to the Mother Ship,” he said, “but how would you get 
back?” 

“Since we're supposed to be on a suicide mission,” Dennis said, keeping
a watchful eye on Butch, “Draygo said he was putting us down the 
rubbish chute if we came back – is that any help to you?” 

Captain Kork stroked his chin as a plan began to take shape in his mind.
“It might just work,” he said eventually, glancing at Ricky and Otto 
who were almost the same height. He pointed at Otto. “Get him out of 
his uniform,” he ordered. 

Otto was drooling over the photos Ricky had given him and put up no
resistance as Butch took his uniform, leaving him in his bright yellow 
underwear. 

The Captain flicked on the wall intercom. “Captain to bridge,” he said
into it. “Is Simon there?” 

Moments later the ship's Beautician, Simon, answered. “Ye-es my
Captain?” 

“We're going to need your help,” the Captain told him. “Could you make
Ricky look like a Klinger?” 

“A Klinger!?” Simon's effeminate voice asked. “You mean all that bushy
eyebrows and lumps on the face stuff?” 

“That's right.” 

“Hmmm. I think so.” 

“I could do a lobotomy on him,” Doctor Malloy piped up. “Make him more
like the real thing.” 

The Captain smiled. “I don't think that will be necessary, Doctor,” he
replied. “He's half-way there already.” 

Ricky laughed and slapped Dennis on the shoulder. “Let's go, fellow
Klinger warrior,” he said. “I think big brother has a job for us.” 

PART THREE 

Ricky and Dennis were waiting on the Transporter Platform to be beamed
across to the Klinger Mother Ship. Ricky was wearing Otto's uniform and 
after some make-up work by Simon which included a high false forehead 
and a few lumps and bumps stuck on to his face, he looked a passable 
Klinger. He was only a little taller than Otto which helped as did his 
long hair which had been dyed black to complete the disguise. 

“Ready?” he asked Dennis. 

Dennis grinned and gave him the thumbs up. 

Ricky nodded to Captain Kork who had temporarily put himself in charge
of the Transporter Platform and was sitting beside Lieutenant Youhoor. 
Slowly he slid both Transporter levers forward and Ricky and Dennis 
shimmered and vanished. Soon afterwards they materialised aboard the 
Mother Ship. 

A surprised General Draygo swivelled round in his chair to see who was
arriving. “What the hell are you two doing back!?” he roared, seeing 
who it was. 

His crack suicide squad shuffled uneasily, Ricky/Otto nervously
clutching his bucket and spade. 

“Captain Kork wasn't there,” Dennis told him. 

Draygo's thick brow furrowed. “He wasn't there? Where was he?” 

“On Dulcodaz,” Dennis told him. 

“Why?” 

“Kharg's got him,” 

“Kharg!” Draygo exclaimed and stood up. “So he's back? What the hell's
he up to this time?” 

Kharg and the Klingers were old friends/enemies. Their paths had crossed
many times in the past, their relationship dependant on whether they 
were helping with or hindering each others plans. 

Pondering what he might be up to Draygo started pacing round the bridge,
hands clasped behind his back, thick chin resting on his chest. 

Seeing their opportunity Ricky nudged Dennis and they stepped off the
Transporter Platform and began edging their way over to the bridge 
door. They almost made it. Just as the door was about to swish open 
Draygo beckoned to a Sergeant. 

“Put those two down the rubbish chute,” he ordered casually, jerking a
thumb at them. 

The Sergeant grinned and saluted. “Yes sir,” he said. “Be my pleasure.”
He drew his laser pistol then marched over to Ricky and Dennis and 
escorted them out. 

PART FOUR 

“Ever wonder where we all came from? Where we're all going? What the
purpose of it all is?” the Captain asked Lieutenant Youhoor. 

They were sitting at Youhoor's console waiting for Ricky's signal so he
and Dennis could be beamed back. 

The Captain glanced over at the observation screen. “All those planets
and atmospheres and suns and moons,” he went on. “There must have been 
some planning behind all that.” 

“Yes Captain,” agreed Youhoor, suppressing a yawn. She had heard
monologues like this from the Captain before and they usually had the 
same effect on her. 

“So if you accept that there's planning then that implies an intelligent
mind,” he went on. “Something far superior to ourselves.” 

Youhoor felt her eyelids getting heavier. 

“A mind so far beyond our comprehension that even our most intelligent,
most advanced people would be like retarded flies compared to it.” 

Youhoor closed her eyes for a few seconds then caught herself before she
dozed off. 

“But why?” went on the Captain, oblivious to the effect he was having on
her. “Why was it all created in the first place? What direction does 
this vastly superior mind want us to take? How do we know we're heading 
the right way?” 

Lieutenant Youhoor fought gamely to keep her eyes open but the narcotic
effect of the Captain's soliloquy combined with the cosines of the 
bridge were too much for her and eventually she gave up the struggle 
and surrendered to the warm blackness. 

PART FIVE 

“Want my teddy!” grunted Ricky in a passable Otto voice. 

The Sergeant sniggered. “I wouldn't worry about your teddy, old son,” he
said. “You're going down the rubbish chute. As soon as you're out the 
ship you're space dust.” 

“Want teddy,” Ricky grunted stubbornly and halted. 

“Oh come on,” the Sergeant snapped, trying to pull him along the
corridor. Ricky wouldn't budge. 

“We might as well get it,” Dennis suggested. “It'll only take a couple
of minutes. Otherwise you'll have to laser him right here.” 

“Oh all right!” snapped the Sergeant, tired of trying to budge Ricky.
“Let's go.” 

The trio changed direction and made their way down to Otto's cabin. When
they entered, Dennis rushed over to Otto's bunk to pick up the teddy, 
clumsily knocking over a table and distracting the Sergeant. This gave 
Ricky time to open a drawer, take out the Pendant and pocket it. 

“Okay out!” ordered the Sergeant, shoving Dennis and a teddy-cuddling
Ricky into the corridor. 

They made their way back up to the rubbish chute and the Sergeant opened
the hatch. 

“After you,” he said, grinning. 

Dennis, Ricky and teddy climbed in and the Sergeant secured the hatch,
waving to them through the thick glass. 

“Bye,” he mouthed. 

“Bye,” mouthed Ricky, waving one of teddy's paws at him. 

The Sergeant shook his head and pressed a wall button. An airtight hatch
inside the long rubbish chute opened and they started to slide down. 

Ricky grinned and brought out his Transceiver. “Okay big brother,” he
said into it, “beam us back.” 

PART SIX 

“When you really think about it deeply, it changes you,” big brother was
saying. 

Lieutenant Youhoor had dozed off. So had half the bridge crew. The rest
were listening in a hypnotic stupor to the Captain's monologue so 
no-one heard Ricky's message. 

“Yes it changes you,” the Captain went on. “I mean once you acknowledge
the fact that there is a superior Force you say to yourself--” 

“Beam us back,” Ricky repeated. 

“...beam us back. Yes beam us back,” the Captain droned on. “We're tired
of all this. And we're curious. Damned curious. We want to meet You. We 
want You to--” 

“Bring us back!” Ricky pleaded as he and Dennis hurtled down the rubbish
chute. 

“...bring us back. Yes we want You to bring us back,” agreed the
Captain, nodding. “We want to meet You. To be with You. So if it 
means--” 

“We're going to die!” Ricky yelled. 

“...we're going to die, that's okay with us. After all what is death
anyway? A brief moment when one door closes and another opens. So why 
be afraid?” 

That was when Lieutenant Youhoor began to slide off the edge of her
chair. “Uh?” she muttered, catching herself at the last moment. She 
came to and rubbed her eyes. Still half-asleep she caught sight of the 
flashing light on her console. “Shit!” she said and pulled back the 
Transporter levers. 

“Aaarrrggghhh!!!” yelled Ricky and Dennis in unison as they shot out the
end of the rubbish chute. 

Seconds before they fulfilled the Sergeant's predictions and became
space dust they shimmered and disappeared. Moments later they 
materialized on the Orion. 

“So death shouldn't really frighten us,” the Captain droned on, winding
up his speech and still unaware of what had happened. “We should just 
look upon it as a crossing, nothing more.” 

Lieutenant Youhoor nudged him and pointed to the Platform. 

“Shit, that was pretty fine,” Ricky said to him as he stepped off. 

“Oh it was nothing,” the Captain replied modestly. “Just my usual
thoughts. Did you get the Pendant?” 

Ricky removed it from his pocket and tossed it over to him. 

The Captain examined the Pendant and after satisfying himself that it
was the one which the old man had given him on Vargas he flicked open 
his Transceiver and contacted Kharg. “I have the Pendant,” he told him. 


“Very good,” Kharg rasped. “Come down.” 

The Captain hesitated. “What guarantee do I have that you'll set us free
afterwards?” he asked. 

“Guarantee?” hissed Kharg. “You're in no position to demand guarantees.
I have the Bulcan. Bring the Pendant down now or he dies.” 

“He's right, sir,” said Youhoor. “You don't have much choice.” 

The Captain sighed. “Okay I'm beaming down,” he told Kharg and closed
his Transceiver. 

He stepped on to the Transporter Platform and nodded to Youhoor. She
pushed the lever forward on her console and a few seconds later the 
Captain was back in Kharg's room on Dulcodaz. 

“So you have it!” Kharg rasped, his yellow eyes glittering as he saw the
Pendant. 

“Free Mr Sprock and it's yours,” the Captain said, holding it up. 

Kharg turned and flicked a finger at the chair where Sprock was held
prisoner. Immediately the metal bands round his wrists sprang apart 
then disappeared into the wood. 

“Thank you, Jim,” Sprock said, standing up and massaging his wrists. 

“The Pendant!” hissed Kharg impatiently. 

The Captain handed it to him and Kharg drifted over to a light and
examined it closely. 

“At last I have it!” he hissed triumphantly, turning it over and over
with his long bony fingers. 

Unknown to him the same eyes as before were once again watching from the
tiny peephole in the ceiling. 

The Captain flicked open his Transceiver. “Get ready to beam us up,
Lieutenant,” he instructed. 

Kharg glanced over at him. “Fool!” he rasped. He raised a finger and a
thin blue beam shot out and zapped into the Transceiver, shattering it. 
He pointed at the Captain's wrist and another beam shot out and 
shattered his Transporter Bracelet. 

Sensing it was useless to resist, Sprock froze and his Bracelet received
the same treatment. 

As the two of them cradled their bruised wrists Kharg drifted over to
the arched doorway. He turned, closed his eyes and extended all his 
fingers at the stone floor around them. 

“Oh shit!” muttered Giraffe, hanging on to his top hat and rushing over
to the shelter of the doorway. 

Suddenly there was an ominous rumbling sound from under the floor and it
started to shake. The rumbling grew louder and the Captain and Mr 
Sprock were knocked off their feet as the floor began bucking and 
heaving. A crack appeared in it and grew wider, leaving a yawning chasm 
between them and Kharg. 

“Quickly, over here, Sprock!” the Captain shouted as they scrambled to
their feet. 

Before Sprock could move the floor rumbled and cracked again. Another
wide gap appeared and they were separated. Large jagged sections of the 
floor began to fall away taking with them consoles and monitors and the 
pyramid of glowing cubes. Everything crashed down into the depths 
throwing up clouds of choking, blinding dust. 

The rumbling and cracking stopped as quickly as it had begun and when
the dust had cleared the Captain and Mr Sprock were left standing on 
two narrow pillars, all the rest of the floor having fallen away. 

Kharg looked over at then from the arched doorway. “You're both free to
go,” he rasped and his harsh laughter echoed round the cavernous room. 
He turned and pressed a wall button and the arched door slid up. “Come 
Giraffe,” he commanded, drifting through. 

Giraffe took a small, careful step closer to the edge of the chasm and
peered down. He whistled appreciatively and shook his head. “Wow!” he 
said. “That's definitely the best special effects yet!” He glanced over 
at the Captain and Mr Sprock, grinned at them and tipped his hat. “Bye 
gents,” he said then turned and ambled after his master as the arched 
door slid shut. 


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