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When all is said and done, Iím still confused (standard:Inspirational stories, 908 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Aug 15 2010Views/Reads: 1522/0Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Some of my best friends, on occasion, have hinted the suggestion that it is highly possible that I might be paranoid. When this idea was first floated, I smiled because I had no idea what it meant. Now that I know what it means it has given me pause to co

Some of my best friends, on occasion, have hinted the suggestion that it
is highly possible that I might be paranoid. When this idea was first 
floated, I smiled because I had no idea what it meant. Now that I know 
what it means it has given me pause to consider... finding a new set of 

Let it be known that I am not paranoid but the facts are quite clear
that there are certain forces "out there" which have it in for Yours 
Truly. This is not being paranoid, it is simply the facts, ma'am. 

If I have any sanity left, it is no thanks to my computer. I firmly
believe that one crazy man surrounded by 12 little dwarfs makes all 
computers in one place. Sure, they all carry names like HP, Dell, 
Aspire and other such, however, let me assure you, this is all a ruse 
and is part of the conspiracy. 

The crazy man has it in for me. Any sanity I might have had in those
thrilling days of yesteryear has been systematically and permanently 
destroyed. And the crazy man, of whose name I have no idea, laughs 
hilariously at the sight of my diminishing sanity. 

Just when I think I'm getting a handle on using my computer, something
happens to that computer necessitating me purchasing a new computer. I 
would not mind buying a new computer occasionally except for the fact 
that there is a conspiratorial aspect to these computers. For one, they 
know too much. 

When I say they know too much, I mean they know too much about me to
suit my fancy. And, I would like you to know, my fancy is not easily 

Recently the cycle came full circle and I had to get a new computer. My
old computer was just old enough and the new computer was just new 
enough so that they were incompatible. This crazy man I referred to 
sits in his cave somewhere trying to find a way to make improvements 
completely incompatible with old computers. 

These new computers have more contraptions and figgamagigs it would take
17 years of constant day and night study to try to figure how they 
work. Since my time schedule does not allow a 17-year study sabbatical, 
I have to try to do with what I have at hand. What I have at hand is a 
contrary, diabolical piece of technology that has one purpose and that 
is to deplete any sanity I may have. 

The first thing upon getting a new computer is to set it up with the
programs you have finally mastered. Computer programs that have 
assisted you in lightening your workflow enabling you to carry on 
somewhat of a productive schedule. Programs you have come to love and 
are almost second nature to you as you use them. 

The new computer knows this. And because he knows this, he has
determined that no old program will work on any new computer. Of 
course, there is nothing in the instruction manual that even hints at 
this. The new computer wants you to spend as much time as possible 
trying to put the old programs that you love and admire so much onto 
the new computer. There's just one problem. None of them fit and none 
of them can be loaded successfully onto the new computer. 

Just so the new computer can squeeze the last drop of sanity out he was
so arranged that one program will be able to be loaded onto the new 
computer. What a happy experience it is to have a program that you can 
now use on the new computer. 

During this time, the computer is smiling because he knows that even
though that program can be loaded onto the computer it will never work 
on the computer. No matter what you do, no matter how many times you 
load and reload the program, it will not work on the new computer no 
matter how many new drivers you download. All of the programs for the 
new computer have to be new programs. 

Finally, I had gotten my new computer to the point where I could use it.
Sure, I miss some of those old programs I had come to love. But after 
the hassle of getting this new computer up and running, I'm just glad 
that I'm able to use my computer. But I was not at the end of the 
conspiratorial agenda of that crazy man. 

One day, nonchalantly I opened up my computer and turned it on. I went
to get a cup of coffee and then came back to sit down and work at the 
computer. When I looked at my screen, what I saw scared me nearly to 
death. It was such a frightening thing that I've never come closer to 
having a heart attack. And it just stared at me. 

After I stopped shaking, and my blood started flowing I discovered a
little gadget on my computer called a Webcam. Looking back at me, to 
provide me with one last conspiratorial joke, was me. 

Only one person I want looking at me. "Search me, O God, and know my
heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way 
in me, and lead me in the way everlasting" (Psalms 139:23-24). 

The only way to escape the conspiratorial mindset is to invite God to
look into your soul. 


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