|Relationships and Commitment (standard:Editorials, 1288 words)|
|Author: GXD||Added: Dec 17 2010||Views/Reads: 1900/1152||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|The tradition of commitment has served humanity for millenia, but it's not cut out for a fast-changing twenty-first century, like now and tomorrow. Think about it.|
RELATIONSHIPS AND COMMITMENT A. Relationships form when two or more people meet They develop bonds based on feelings exchanged -- feelings that reinforce mutual identity, interests and purposes. This is true of a boy and girl, two old men, a group like the Red Cross, an institution like General Electric, and so on. B. The relationship forms, bonds, develops, grows and changes as the world changes. Each individual adapts to the changes, and grows in a personal and individual way. Suddenly, one day, it becomes clear that few of the original bonds and mutual identities, or interests remain. However, the relationship continues, in traditional fashion, because commitments have been made, implied (as in house-sharing), expressed (as in marriage vows), written (as in business contracts) and so on. C. Commitment is a concept that represents a certain feeling. It arises as a modeled, imprinted or learned skill, quite differently from empathy and compassion, which are reflections of genetic, DNA or molecular structures and patterns. Your mutual appreciation of a particular smell (for example) generates emotional energy; like flowers expressing love. Making a commitment involves following certain rules agreed between two people, or three, or millions –- as in a "kingdom" or "nation" or a system of belief held by a particular "church" community. D. Unlike the empathetic bond that characterizes relationships, commitment is an instrument that serves a purpose, and it has always been abused by the individuals in a group who seek leadership and exercise authority. This includes kings and courtiers, presidents-congresses-judges, groups and institutions , etc. Throughout all of history, including right now, this "top-down" pyramid has been a salient characteristic of human relations. E. As one example (please, only this one, merely to illustrate my concern over this issue), take "love and marriage". The love that two animals have for each other is one of many bonds forming a relationship. It is felt, like poetry or music. Traditional married commitment isn't “felt” but “contracted”. Commitments are moral contracts, rather than ethical agreements. When two animals are fulfilled together in nearly all ways, and may even have kittens or puppies or children, then all is peaceful in the land and the Leader has little "work" to do. Productivity in a “love” relationship is adequate to sustain all. There are festivals and celebrations, no crime, no violence, no envy, no greed, no deceit....and no marriage commitments are needed: people willingly share abundance with those who manage, or who carry out essential tasks that contribute to richness in relationships. Times change. Seasons change. Opportunities beckon to individuals. Some work too hard and become ill. Others become too successful. Soon, strains arise leading to stress in marriage-bonded relationships; things become uncomfortable as the individuals grow. The stresses of change lead to unrest, and when this becomes severe, it leads to emotional pain, which damages and weakens the bonding of earlier times. On the other hand, in an unconditional “love” relationship, the strains become a basis for cooperation; the growth as individuals becomes a cause for mutual celebration; the changes promote a higher level of emotional security and trust. This reinforces the bonding of earlier times. The animal instinct for self-preservation, self-esteem (glory), self-reliance (independence), self-awareness (insight) and self-expression awakens the primitive "fight-or-flight" syndrome in a traditionally contracted legal marriage. Unrest, impatience and discomfort arise in the community bonded by commitments like marriage contracts and mortgages. Among mankind's earliest attempts to consolidate the emotional bonds that make loving and devoted relationships, the kings and spiritual leaders came up with a marvelous human invention: Commitment. They realized that the healthiest and most productive children grew from relationships which had long-term bonding "commitment" to remaining in Click here to read the rest of this story (76 more lines)
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