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Give Us This Day Our Turkey . . . Again (standard:Inspirational stories, 955 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Nov 13 2011Views/Reads: 1587/849Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Thanksgiving is my kind of holiday. Apart from the "thanks" part, the primary purpose of this celebration is eating. That is the one thing I do quite well.

Thanksgiving is my kind of holiday. Apart from the "thanks" part, the
primary purpose of this celebration is eating. That is the one thing I 
do quite well. 

Thanksgiving is the beginning of a feasting frenzy that would make
Richard Simmons sweat to the goodies. Any thoughts of dieting at this 
time of the year are merely blowing in the wind. Hopefully, not in my 

Our Pilgrim Fathers came up with the idea of a Thanksgiving feast. The
Pilgrim Mothers were too busy doing the wash and caring for the 
children to think of any more work. 

The Pilgrim Fathers were sitting around waiting for someone to invent
television so they could all watch a football game when someone had an 
idea. Most ideas are born in the midst of great boredom. That is why so 
many of them are...well...stupid. 

"There's nothing to do," one bored Pilgrim Father said. "Let's get
together and have a feast." Because nothing else was happening, the 
other Pilgrim Fathers got excited about this idea. The Pilgrim Mothers, 
however, had some different thoughts about this crazy feast idea. 

After all, they would have to do all the work and Oprah Winfrey had not
been born yet to lead them in a chorus of whining and complaining and 
getting in touch with their real feelings. 

The Pilgrim Mothers wanted a Tupperware party, but since it was not yet
a two-party system, they could only do one party. The Pilgrim Fathers 
won this one. 

However, like the good Puritan wives they were, they humored their
husbands and began preparations for the first Thanksgiving feast. 
Because this was the first Thanksgiving, it was a simple affair 
compared with the ones to follow. 

At the first one nobody said, "We've always done it this way." Because
it was never done before. However, the second Thanksgiving was beset 
with this sort of thing. A tradition, someone wisely pointed out, is 
something done at least once. 

What the Pilgrim Mothers did not count on was company for dinner. After
all, they were thousands of miles from their nearest relatives with a 
big pond between them. They assumed, and rightly so, that they were 
safe from the intrusion of company on what would be the heaviest 
workday for the kitchen crew. 

Have you ever noticed that when you are planning a feast of some kind,
relatives who never bother you the rest of the year (something to be 
thankful for) seem to gravitate to your gravy bowl? 

There is nothing like unexpected company to put pizzazz in a
Thanksgiving celebration. Who wants pizza for Thanksgiving when there 
is so much turkey? 

Imagine the Pilgrim Mother's surprise when the Pilgrim Fathers told them
(probably on Thanksgiving morning) that they had invited guests for the 
feast. I can imagine some ears were stinging that first Thanksgiving 
Day. The Pilgrim Fathers braved through the stinging rebukes from their 
wives...for months. 

Perhaps the biggest anomaly of Thanksgiving is the mountain of leftovers
the next day and for weeks to follow. No matter how much turkey is 
gobbled up or how many people are around that Thanksgiving table, the 
leftovers are enormous. 

There is more turkey on Friday than on Thanksgiving. 

I cannot prove this, but I highly suspect the turkeys we have today keep
growing even after we cook them. Maybe when placed in a cold 
refrigerator over night, they expand. 

I really do not know what takes place, but something happens to that
turkey when left overnight in a refrigerator. The big challenge is how 
to prepare leftover turkey so it does not look or taste like turkey. 

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