ROGER'S FABULOUS VOYAGES, PART 2, CHAPTER 3. (standard:humor, 929 words) [3/12] show all parts
Author: Danny Zil	Added: Jun 11 2012	Views/Reads: 2002/1446	Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Roger lands on Uhuruland and meets the planet's ruler, Big Lucas.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story


“Well, so-so,” Boy Paddy replied. “Adjusting re-entry angle...ten
seconds.” 

“I think you're a pretty smart computer,” Roger said encouragingly. “I
have every confidence in you.” 

“Thanks,” Boy Paddy said. “Five seconds, four, three, two, one...and
re-entry achieved!” 

Roger cheered and applauded. Even Cap'n Vernon and Gunner Niggets joined
in. 

“You see, I told you that you could do it!” Roger said, relieved that he
wasn't a charred corpse. “You're a very smart computer.” 

“Oh thanks,” Boy Paddy replied modestly. “You know, you're not such a
bad chap yourself.” 

Roger smiled. “Do you think we could become friends then?” he asked
hesitatingly. 

“I'd like that.” 

“And you'll stop making fun of me?” 

“Yes yes.” 

“Well in that case we'll probably appear in future stories together.” 

“Future stories? You mean there are more after this one?” 

“Oh I'm sure there--” 

Just then, Roger's crystal ball gazing was halted as the Ship bumped
gently on to the surface of Uhuruland. 

“Hey man, what the fuck are you cats up to?” Cap'n Vernon asked. 

“Er, I think we crashed just a little,” Roger explained sheepishly. 

“You know why, doan't you?” Cap'n Vernon asked. 

“Why?” 

“You forgots to put your wheels down, man!” 

Cap'n Vernon and Gunner Niggets hee-hawed. 

Roger glanced over at Boy Paddy but he was muttering away to himself
pretending to be extremely busy, checking his circuits and going over 
damage reports. 

Roger shook his head and unstrapped himself. “Well I suppose I'd better
go and see what these people want,” he said. “I think I shall wear my 
floral smoking jacket,” he added. He slipped on his gaudy penman's 
attire and admired himself in a mirror then made his way down to the 
Exit Bay. 

“Doors opening,” Boy Paddy told him. 

“Roger,” said Roger and stepped out. 

There was a small crowd there to meet him and he squinted at them in the
bright sunlight. 

“Hey, dig whitey's threads!” someone yelled. 

The crowd laughed and Roger, predictably, flushed. 

“Welcome to Uhuruland, witey!” boomed a resonant bass voice. 

Roger peered round at the crowd. “I say, you're all black,” he observed.
“An Ah suppose we all looks the same t' you as well, witey!?” the bass 
voice asked. 

The crowd giggled appreciatively and there was an air of restrained
expectancy about them. The owner of the bass voice, one Big Lucas, 
stepped forward. He was a huge man with thick curly black hair and he 
was wearing green army fatigues. An old fashioned silver pistol gleamed 
in his waist holster. He grinned and there was such complete confidence 
in the grin that Roger's hysteria glands were activated. 

“Witey's tremblin!” Big Lucas boomed. “An so he should be.” He strolled
closer and looked Roger straight in the eye. “This the black mans 
world, wite boy. What you doin here?” 

“You brought me here,” Roger told him. 

“That's because you invadin Uhuruland airspace. No wites allowed in the
black man's airspace or on the black man's planet.” 

“Well in that case I'll go.” 

Big Lucas grinned. “Course you'll go, wite boy. We'll all waves you
goodbye.” 

The crowd giggled and slapped palms at that one. 

“Yessiree, we'll all waves you goodbye...at your funeral...after we
executin you!” 

The crowd fell about laughing and Roger, predictably, fainted. 


Tweet