The Love of Herman's Life (standard:other, 2773 words) [2/4] show all parts
Author: Jim Spence	Added: Aug 08 2003	Views/Reads: 2546/1920	Part vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Part 2 in the Herman series ...

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

Millie. 

“Well, don't flounder around with it all night ... there's fresh apple
pie in the kitchen” she said, laughing at the silly joke she'd just 
made. 

Herman chuckled, even though he'd heard that line 100 times before. 
Coming from Millie, no words were ever the same. 

As he finished his fish, and started into the piece of apple pie that
Millie had brought (without having to ask, he thought), Herman 
overheard Millie talking to a woman at the end of the counter.  They 
were discussing a movie that the other woman had just seen, and she 
spouted off about how wonderful it was. 

“Oh, I would just love to see that movie” said Millie with a laugh that
would warm the heart of a dead man. 

Herman suddenly stopped.  Maybe this was his chance.  He had wanted to
ask Millie out for the longest time.  Trouble was, he'd heard countless 
men ask Millie out countless times for a date, and he'd heard a 
countless number of polite refusals by Millie.  Amazing how a woman 
could tell a man “no” and still make him laugh.  That's what Millie did 
each time they asked; and those same men still came back, day after 
day, to the diner that had become a piece of each of them. 

“No, Millie would never go out with me” thought Herman.  He knew that he
wasn't the greatest looking man in the world, and Millie should be with 
a Prince.  He didn't know what he was most afraid of ... Millie turning 
him down, or Millie actually accepting.  Either way, Herman thought he 
would faint from fright at the thought of opening his mouth and asking 
her. 

“Sweetie, can I get you anything else?” she asked, as she topped off
Herman's coffee cup one last time. 

Then, Herman heard the strangest thing.  He heard his voice ... that in
itself wasn't strange; the strange thing was, he heard his voice asking 
Millie if she would like to go the next night to see that movie that 
she so obviously wanted to see. 

Herman couldn't believe his own ears.  He was asking Millie out. 

But, stranger than that, strangest of all, was the sound of Millie's
voice saying “Herman, I would love to go see that movie with you.” 

She said YES!!!  Herman was beside himself, which is no small feat when
you consider that Herman had never been beside himself before.  It was 
as if he was standing there, watching himself turn red because he 
asked, and redder still because she accepted. 

They made their plans for the next evening, Saturday night.  Millie had
to work, but her boss would let her off for a few hours, she said.  
After all ... who could say no to Millie? 

Herman would be at the diner at 7:00, take her to the 7:20 movie, and
have her back to work by 9:30, in time for the Saturday evening rush. 

Herman paid for his dinner, left a good tip (as usual) and walked to the
door.  Only this time the door wouldn't open.  He pushed, and he 
pushed, but ... it wouldn't budge.  Only the sounds of snickering 
coming from two men seated at a table close to where Herman had sat 
brought him to the realization that ... the door swung to the inside.  
He'd been coming to this diner since he could remember, and the door 
had ALWAYS swung to the inside.  But now Herman was so flustered that 
Millie had accepted his invitation that he'd lost sense of where he was 
... and how the door opened.  He looked over his shoulder as he finally 
pulled the door open to see Millie standing behind the counter, smiling 
at him. 

“Oh, great” Herman thought “now she thinks I'm a complete idiot.” 

“What a sweet, sweet man” thought Millie. 

The next day dawned, sharp and clear.  Herman had had trouble falling
asleep the night before.  His excitement about his upcoming date aside, 
he'd tossed and turned all night long thinking about how silly he must 
have looked, pushing and pushing on that door, Millie standing there 
the whole time watching, the customers quietly laughing at his 
predicament. “I'll bet she's going to cancel our date” he thought.  
After all, he couldn't even figure out how to open a door; how could he 
be asked to show a lady ... and Millie was a lady ... a good evening? 

He had laid out the clothes he was going to wear on his date with Millie
the night before, just as he always did.  Only this time he paused – 
and reconsidered.  That in itself was startling.  Herman never changed 
his mind, especially about what he was wearing.  He looked at the 
sharply pressed pants, the button down shirt, and the tie (one of only 
three ties that he owned) that he had picked out so carefully the 
previous night for his date with Millie and thought “these clothes are 
so plain.  Millie deserves so much better than this”. 

And so, Herman did something that he hadn't done in years.  Herman went
shopping for a new suit. 

Herman went to five department stores looking for just the right suit. 
Finally, he found it.  A black, pin striped suit that, he thought, made 
him look regal.  “After all, if you're going to take a Princess out on 
a date, you should look like a Prince”. 

Actually, buying the suit was the easiest chore he had ... picking out
the tie he was going to buy to wear with that suit was another thing 
entirely.  Herman was quite picky about his ties ... which would 
probably explain why he only had three ties to his name. 

Herman got back to his walk up a little before 5:00.  “Plenty of time to
get ready” he told himself.  And get ready he did. 

He pressed the suit, even though it had just been pressed not two hours
earlier at the store where he bought it.  He pressed his new shirt ... 
and even pressed his new tie.  He showered, for the second time that 
day.  He looked at his face in the mirror, that same old Herman face, 
and started having those doubts again ... doubts about what he was 
doing, going out on a date with the Princess Millie, doubts about 
whether she would even agree to go out with him after his door fiasco 
at the diner the evening before. 

Herman had shaved just that morning, but – he was going out with Millie.
 He shaved again, quite meticulously ... only not quite meticulously 
enough.  While removing the last bit of stubble from his chin, Herman 
cut himself.  Not just a nick, but one of those “looks like an aerial 
view of the Grand Canyon” kind of nicks.  He quickly put some toilet 
paper on the cut, hoping to stop the bleeding before he had to leave. 

“Oh, now you've done it” he complained to himself “what a complete idiot
you are” as he looked in the mirror at his face, seemingly framed in 
toilet paper. 

At ten minutes ‘til seven, Herman left his apartment, walked the three
flights down to the street, and headed for the diner.  As he neared the 
diner, he felt his nerves tighten, and his stomach quiver.  It seemed 
like the diner was full this evening, and every eye in the place was 
watching Herman approach. 

Herman had a sudden memory of the last night's embarrassment with the
door, so he reminded himself “the door opens INWARD, you idiot”, and he 
placed his hand on the door and pushed ... only to forget about the 
step up into the diner. 

And in he fell, tumbling over the one step up.  The door slammed against
the back of a chair, and Herman slammed to the floor, ripping a hole in 
the knee of his brand new suit. 

It was as if the whole world was silent, then suddenly exploded in a
giant ball of laughter.  Everyone in the diner laughed out loud.  
Everyone, that is, but Millie.  She ran forward to help Herman up from 
the floor. 

And that's when Herman got his first look at his date for the evening. 
There stood Millie with a look of concern on her face, wearing blue 
jeans and a pretty summer top.  There stood Herman, in a suit, with one 
knee torn, and a bruise already starting on his hand where he had 
caught himself. 

Herman had three immediate thoughts.  One, Millie was, at that very
moment, the single most beautiful woman he had ever seen ... two, 
Herman was woefully overdressed ... and, three, what a bumbling idiot 
he was. 

And yet, Millie smiled.  She said nothing about his spill, instead
taking the time to compliment Herman on his suit, and what a shame it 
was that he'd ripped a hole in the knee. 

“I must look like a complete idiot” thought Herman. 

“What a sweet, sweet man” thought Millie. 

Only when they turned to leave did Herman see his reflection in the
glass doors of the diner and realize that he had forgotten to remove 
the toilet paper from his chin. 

“Oh, god” thought Herman “what could she possibly think of me now?” as
he quickly disposed of the tissue. 

“He shaved just to take me out” thought Millie ... “what a sweet, sweet
man.” 

They got to the movie ten minutes before it started.  Herman asked
Millie if she wanted anything from the concession stand, but she wanted 
nothing.  All the better, thought Herman – I'd probably spill the drink 
in her lap anyway. 

The movie ended, and Millie had seemed to enjoy it.  Herman enjoyed it,
too, only not for the reasons Millie did.  He was just happy he hadn't 
embarrassed himself by setting the theatre on fire. 

The walk back to the diner was a pleasant one for them both.  Millie's
laugh seemed to light their way as they walked through the dark streets 
of the city.  Herman was happy for two reasons ... he was with a woman 
that turned the heads of every man that saw her, and she hadn't run 
screaming from Herman in fear. 

They made it back to the diner right at 9:30, the time he'd promised. 
They walked in together, this time Herman remembering both the inward 
opening door and the single step up. 

As they said their goodbyes in the diner, Millie thanked Herman for “a
wonderful evening” and, before she walked through the metal doors into 
the kitchen, she leaned forward and gave Herman a gentle kiss on the 
cheek. 

Suddenly, all of his bumbling and stumbling disappeared.  She kissed
him.  Millie ... that vision of loveliness had actually kissed Herman.  
His head was in the clouds. 

So much so that, as he left (remembering the inward swinging door, and
the single step down), he completely ignored the old lady coming into 
the diner ... and barreled into her, knocking her backwards to the 
curb. 

Herman could hear the laughter coming from inside the diner as he
stooped to help the old lady up from the sidewalk, apologizing 
profusely, embarrassed as he'd ever been.  He didn't have the courage 
to turn around and see if Millie had witnessed his latest blunder ... 
somehow, he knew she did. 

Herman walked back to his third floor walk up quickly and quietly,
trying his best not to bump into anybody else, or ruin anyone else's 
evening ... he figured he'd already ruined Millie's, and he just knew 
that she would never speak to him again. 

********************* 

It was almost 2:00 am before Millie finally made it home.  She undressed
slowly, thinking about her evening with Herman, and how much she was 
looking forward to seeing him again.  “He did all of that for me” she 
thought ... “what a sweet, sweet man.” 

********************* 

As he lay his head on his pillow, Herman knew that this would be a
second night of little sleep.  He tossed and turned, thinking about how 
what had started as such a special evening had turned so terribly 
ordinary.  “She must think I'm a complete idiot” growled Herman to 
himself.  “This could have been the love of my life, and now she'll 
never speak to me.”  He just knew that he could never go back to that 
diner again. 


Tweet