Parker (standard:non fiction, 1681 words)
Author: SciFi Fan	Added: May 12 2006	Views/Reads: 2868/2023	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Canadian Accent, Open Fly, and Animal Crackers

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story

Parker knew this full well, even told me about this problem during our 
little talk.  He even asked me if I could teach him how to act like a 
person so that Amber might come to like him.  I uncomfortably told him 
that there was nothing I could really “teach” him.  When I asked him 
why he wanted to go out with a girl who clearly hated him, he replied 
that he simply did.  I didn't understand the logic of his crush, but I 
advised him to work toward getting her to not hate him before aiming 
for a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.  He seemed content enough with 
my advice, and it had ended another Parker moment, so I was happy 
enough. But then, the copycat stage began.  I suppose he wanted to act 
in a manner that would get Amber to like him more.  Though my friends 
and I weren't the coolest kids in school, we were socially accepted.  
Consequently, he began to copy us. 

This stage began with animal crackers.  I happened to be in the habit of
bringing animal crackers to lunch every day and cracking jokes about 
the occasional Siamese mule that I came upon.  What a surprise—Parker 
began to come to lunch with a huge bag of animal crackers and make the 
exact same jokes.  My friends would sort of fake-laugh in response and 
glance at me with a half-laughing, half-freaked out expression.  I was 
really at a loss as to what to do there, because I was starting to get 
very freaked out myself.  That was the end of animal crackers for me. 
He had to copy Tyler with clothes, since he obviously couldn't dress 
like me.  We had to dress formally for each speech in public speaking, 
and we had already performed at least six speeches by that time.  As a 
result, formal outfits had begun to repeat.  A person only has so many 
pairs of dress pants and dress shirts.  Tyler usually wore cacky pants 
and a blue dress shirt for his speeches.  Let's just say it was 
extremely embarrassing for six foot six, noticeable Tyler to walk 
around wearing the exact same outfit as the guy next to him, especially 
when that guy was Parker.  It made it worse that Parker was incessantly 
checking his fly. 

At that point, I had just about reached my limits with Parker.  I began
to avoid him and be short with him when he tried to talk with me.  I 
was beginning to get worried about a stalking situation, so I was 
trying to break off my friendship.  Once again, I'm only human. Things 
turned ugly with the debate session of public speaking.  I was assigned 
to be on the opposite team as Parker, which was probably for the best. 
I don't think I could have worked with him harmoniously.  Our topic was 
the Patriot Act, and Parker was to be my cross-examiner after my part 
of the debate.  The questions began without trouble.  I answered his 
questions to the best of my abilities while still upholding my 
arguments.  He began to look a little ticked off, maybe because I 
wasn't answering the questions the way he wanted me to.  However, his 
annoyance seemed to build with each question.  After I gave one of my 
replies, Parker turned to me and screamed, “I AM THE CROSS EXAMINER! 
YOU WILL ANSWER MY QUESTIONS!”  I was horrified.  A debater is not 
supposed to look at his opponents when speaking, let alone scream at 
them.  Not only was I embarrassed, but so was the teacher.  She told 
Parker to sit down.  Parker walked to his seat while checking his fly, 
and I stepped sheepishly down from the podium. Parker backed off for a 
little while after that.  He was oddly silent at lunch, but I later 
found out that this was due to his discovery of Amber's boyfriend. 

One day, I sat down at our lunch table to find an extra person sitting
next to Parker.  I immediately recognized her as the new girl from 
Spanish class.  She had just come to America from Ecuador, and she 
didn't speak much English.  Parker told me that she had nowhere to sit 
because she didn't have any friends yet, and that he had told her that 
she could sit with us.  He told me that he remembered what I had done 
for him when he didn't have any friends to sit with.  He told me that 
he knew it was the right thing to do, because that was what I had done. 
I was shocked.  I guess I had taught Parker something, without even 
knowing. 

So as I sit here in public speaking, looking across the room at Parker,
I know that my befriending him was a good thing.  In spite of the 
Canadian accent, the open fly, the animal crackers, and the screaming 
at me during our debate, I'm glad that I had to spend that time with 
Parker.  I had found someone who didn't know how to interact with other 
people, and I had taught him something positive.  More than that, he 
had taught me something positive.  If you show someone in need a little 
kindness, good things happen.  Now I'm just wondering what Parker will 
do next. 


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