My Typical Interview (standard:humor, 878 words)
Author: Reid Laurence	Added: Jan 29 2007	Views/Reads: 3654/2327	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Frustration and antipathy for what many of us have been through just to find a job are the subjects of this brief, but enlightening piece of fiction.

Click here to read the first 75 lines of the story


“Oh hell,” I replied, quickly jumping to an answer while apologizing for
my use of course language. “I can solve a binomial faster ‘en you can 
say ‘Now how'd he do that so fast?' Yes sir,” I continued. “That's a 
talent of mine.” 

“Super,” muttered my interviewer. “I'll try and remember that. Well, I
guess we're pretty much done here. I have a few others to interview, 
but if we think your skills are a match, we'll sure call you. How's 
that?” 

“I know Mr. Johnson. I can guess your answer right now, yeah. ‘Don't let
the bi-fold doors hit you on the way out buster.'” 

“Now there's no need for that Mr. Laurence. We here at Grunt's are a
fair and equitable company, and have been so for the forty years we've 
been in business.” 

“Okay, okay,” I repeated, as I got up and walked through the doors. “I
shouldn't have said that. Bye now.” I said, bringing our short, 
fruitless interview to its final resting place. 

But even as I left the office and walked back to my car I couldn't help
feeling as though I'd lost out on another potential job. Starting up 
the car, I was left to wonder to myself why I nearly always seem to 
lose out. After all, I'm as truthful as I can be and my wife tells me 
all the time how fluently I speak. I think that's the reason we get 
along so well. We think so much alike. But I just don't understand what 
I'm doing wrong I thought, as I began the long drive home. Then, 
recalling the last thing she said to me on my way out, I remembered I'd 
taken her advice exactly as we'd planned, especially when she warned 
me..., “Now honey, don't get involved in any conversations on politics. 
Just act bipartisan.”


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