Just don’t call me on Monday! (standard:humor, 903 words)
Author: Godspenman	Added: May 25 2014	Views/Reads: 2100/1483	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Those who know me would agree that I am cool, calm, and collected, although not in that order. It takes quite a bit to razzle me and get me out of sync with my inner harmony. No matter what happens, I can always find something to amuse me and to laugh it

Those who know me would agree that I am cool, calm, and collected,
although not in that order. It takes quite a bit to razzle me and get 
me out of sync with my inner harmony. No matter what happens, I can 
always find something to amuse me and to laugh it off. I am just that 
kind of guy. 

I must confess that, while that is mostly true, I did have an incident
this past week that threw all of that out of the window. That is what I 
get for leaving my window down! 

The week started out as normal. Mondays are usually my down day. After a
full weekend of preparation and ministry, I need one day to really 
chill out and get my wits about me re-collected. On Mondays, I do not 
wish to do anything or see anybody or go anywhere. My motto for Monday 
is simply, just don't call me! 

I have one rule for Monday and that is it is impossible to oversleep.
Whenever I wake up on Monday is when I get up. If ever the Gracious 
Mistress of the Parsonage set the alarm clock for Monday morning, she 
will have to deal with a grouchy old geezer with an unpleasant 
attitude. I am sorry, that is the way life is. 

On this particular Monday when I finally awakened, the first thing I
noticed was that my wife had already left the house. Out in the kitchen 
the coffee had been brewed and waiting for my consumption. There was a 
nice bowl of oatmeal ready just for me. 

Life cannot get any better than that! I only wish there were more
Mondays in the week. I think when the Beatles sang that song, “Eight 
Days a Week,” they were referring to two Mondays. 

I fixed my coffee, got my oatmeal ready and proceeded into the living
room where I could set in my easy chair and watch a little bit of 
television for as long as I could stay awake. Nothing is quite as nice 
as a Monday with nothing to do and nobody to bother you while you are 
doing it. 

I got situated and took a nice sip of delicious coffee and then
proceeded to turn on the television. That is when my Monday exploded. 

I could not turn the TV on; something was wrong with the service.
Usually at times like this, my wife takes care of the situation and 
resolves the problem. Here I was all on my own and I needed to step up 
and take care of business. 

I distinctly remember one occasion when my wife had to face such a
situation and she would call the TV service. She would speak to some 
people there and in a few moments (after some rather angry screeching), 
the problem was solved. So I decided to do the same thing, minus the 
screeching. 

When was the last time you called a tech person to help you solve a
problem with your TV and Internet service? Therefore, you know what I 
am about to get into. It is something worse than Rod Sterling's The 
Twilight Zone. 

I called the number associated with our TV and Internet service and that
is when the games began. 

One of my problems is that I can remember “the day” when you talked to a
live person. Someone actually living and breathing and living in your 
own country. How was I to know that the service technicians were 
somewhere in the hills of India? 

After punching 2,743 numbers on my phone, I finally got somebody.
Actually, it was not really somebody; it was a recording telling me 
that I was 47th in line waiting for the technician. According to my 
calculation, it would take me 29 Mondays to get to talk to a live, 
breathing technician. 

By the time I was connected to a live technician, I had completely lost
my cool and was close to not being collected. 

One of the problems I faced was trying to explain to this technician
what my problem was. The next problem was to understand what he was 


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