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I Screamed for Ice Cream and Got in Trouble. (standard:humor, 906 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Jan 15 2023Views/Reads: 132/62Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
No matter what my trouble is, because God is my refuge I have nothing to worry about.

Trouble is not my middle name, although it sure could be; just ask The
Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. 

I try to keep out of trouble, but my definition differs from my wife's.
What she considers to be trouble is just about everything I do. I will 
not ask her how I can keep from doing what I do. I don't need that 

If I could remember some of the trouble I've been in it probably could
help me keep out of some new trouble. But of course, my "new trouble" 
is something I've done before, many times, according to someone in our 

My thought is, and I am unanimous in this, without trouble, there is no
real life. If you don't get into some trouble, then something is wrong. 

Sometimes, according to my experience, trouble is worth it. 

Well, sometimes it's worth it. 

One of my routines at night is to have a nice cold bowl of ice cream. I
don't care what flavor it is because I've never had any ice cream that 
I didn't like. The one I like best is the one I'm eating at the time. 

The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage is very good at buying my ice
cream and is always looking for coupons or BOGO, for which she is 
rather famous. 

Not long ago, she came into the house excited and laughing, as I'd never
seen her laugh before. It took a while for her to calm down, but when 
she did, I was able to find out what she was all excited about. 

At the one store where she usually gets groceries, she found, much to
her surprise, ice cream that was buy one and get two free. Of course, 
that sure made her day, but it also made my day as well. 

I wonder if that was a mistake, but if it was, she took advantage of
that ice cream sale. 

She's very cautious with how much ice cream I should eat. When she came
home with this bargain, I tried to explain that this meant I could have 
twice the amount of ice cream as before. 

When I said that, the smile on her face quickly evaporated, and looking
at me, she said, "It does not mean anything of the sort. You will eat 
what ice cream I give you, and that's all." 

Well, you can't fault me for trying. If you don't try, how do you know
something isn't going to work? 

I was happy that we had a nice supply of ice cream just in case of any
emergency. One emergency that I was thinking of was an overwhelming 
hunger for ice cream. According to The Gracious Mistress of the 
Parsonage, this is not an emergency. 

I am banking on the fact that because we have so many boxes of ice
cream, I could sneak a bowl while she wasn't home, and she wouldn't 
know about it. After all, with all those boxes, how in the world can 
you keep count? 

One day while she was away for the day, I broke into the freezer and got
a nice cold bowl of ice cream. It was one of the most delicious bowls 
of ice cream I've had in a long time. 

Of course, I washed the dish and put it back into the cupboard to avoid
leaving any evidence. 

I was in my office doing a little bit of work when she came home, and
within 10 minutes, I heard her yelling, "Did you sneak any ice cream 
from the freezer today?" 

How she found out, I do not know. After all these years of marriage, I'm
beginning to think she has a little ghost in the house keeping track of 
my movements. I can't prove it, but I'm starting to feel it. 

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