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Civilized! (standard:Satire, 1459 words)
Author: Jeff WebsterAdded: Aug 03 2004Views/Reads: 6600/2648Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Americans love entertainment. This is a darkly satirical work about what might happen if we take that love too far.


The man had plastic hair. At least it looked like it. It was so
perfectly sculpted and shaped it would be difficult to think how this 
man, standing here with suit and microphone, camera pointed at him, 
could have anything on his head but a blob of jet black plastic, shaped 
to look like some snazzy hairstyle. Anything for ratings, said the 
network executives. 

And ratings they had! The first season of "Civilized!" was a smash hit,
the host and creators reaching unprecedented salaries because of their 
success. The network advertised, fought tooth and nail to get the 
primetime spot they wanted, and their work paid off well. They had the 
number one show on television. 

"And how does "Civilized!" make you feel?" The host had a winning smile
on his face, straight from charm school. 

"Oh, by the power in me, I feel the people at "Civilized!" are doing the
world a great service by taking these third-world savages and giving 
them a second chance!" This particular enthusiastic woman, now the 
subject of the focus of the camera, happened to catch every episode, 
just like her and everyone she knew, and most people that she didn't 

Mark was the name they gave him when they civilized him. He had never
been given a name by his tribe, he was known by his face. There was no 
need for names, because there was no need for recognition. The tribe 
worked as a group to fight off the strangers that came and took their 
leader away, but failed, and now Mark was a TV star. 

Season Two was fast approaching, and much hubbub had arisen from the
masses. Somewhere in the middle of it, the object of the first season 
was stuck in hiding. In thirteen quick weeks, Mark was taken, cleaned 
up, given a haircut and a shave, and (although it was with much 
difficulty, and lots of sedative drugs) taught him the English 
language. The finale resulted in Mark interviewing and landing a job at 
a big TV company. Rumor has it that Mark would be the producer of the 
second season, while others were mumbling that he'd have an appearance, 
maybe even play a major part in the second "civilization." 

Nobody suggested the rumor that the next time Mark would be seen on live
television, he'd kill himself. Nobody thought he'd take that knife and 
ram it into his stomach again and again until he no longer had the 
strength to move. And, most of all, nobody expected to see the best 
television they had seen in years. 

"It completely took me by surprise! I don't think anyone was expecting
that one! Whew! "Civilized!" just keeps dealing out the punches!" 

"Whatever could have compelled him to offer his life for our
entertainment, I don't know. But it was an act of nobility and 
generosity I have never seen before." 

"Like, as soon as I saw the knife go in him the first time, I was
shocked. The second time, I started dialing all my friends, making sure 
they were watching this." 

They were, of course. Everyone who was anyone was watching "Civilized!"
every Thursday night, and in case one missed it (perhaps there was an 
untimely emergency that ripped one away from one's television), every 
Sunday morning and afternoon there were reruns. Now, it's just not the 
same, because everyone's been talking about what happened since 
Thursday, and once Sunday comes, one would already know all the 

The funeral was recorded, but never televised, as the network executives
projected low amounts of viewers. Nobody wants to watch a funeral, they 
would rather just let the dead person be dead. Plus, the executives 
couldn't be bothered with that, they had an entire season of 
"Civilized!" to worry about. 

Her name was Allison. Not really, but that's what they called her after
they pulled her away kicking and screaming from her husband and 
children back in South America. This time, the abduction was televised, 

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