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Wonderful (standard:humor, 3311 words)
Author: KirkAdded: Mar 21 2006Views/Reads: 3426/2408Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
And you thought YOU had a bad day....
 



Wonderful 

By Kirk 

Today was one of those days when you keep hoping you'll wake up and
realize it was all a dream. Just in case, let me pinch myself. 

Nope, I'm awake. 

It all started out innocently enough for a Friday. The alarm went off at
six and I proceeded to do the three 'S's' of the morning, yelled up the 
steps for the kid to get up, and let my dog Jack out in the yard to do 
his one 'S'. I watched the news as I drank my coffee and then let Jack 
back in. At seven I dragged my kid to the car and took her to school. 

It's been all downhill since then... 

* * * 

As I pulled into the company parking lot I noticed that someone had
parked in my spot. The nerve of that jerk! How could they park in a 
spot marked 'Reserved Parking for Percival Sweetwalker'? I intended to 
make a scene out of this so I put my car in park and wandered over to 
the offending minivan. Looking through the driver's window I could see 
an assortment of snack wrappers littering the floor and passenger's 
seat. 

'The jerks a slob too,' I thought. Then I noticed the sign. 'Reserved
Parking for Frank Fuchs'. 

"Fucks?" I muttered as I looked around making sure this was it. It was
indeed my spot. I knew it perfectly right down to the cracks in the 
bricks on the side of the building. I knew who Frank was too. He was 
the moron from accounting that kept breaking the copiers. 

I got back in my car and drove around until I found my name in the
furthest spot from the building. 'Somebody has got a lot of explaining 
to do...' I thought, as I walked a few hundred yards to the entrance. 

Just as I cleared the metal detectors there was a general page made
through the building. 

"Sweetwalker, report to my office right now! You've got a lot of
explaining to do!" bellowed Mr. Whipschmear, the company president. 

I looked up at the security camera and knew he was watching. 'Thanks for
sharing that with all seven hundred workers...' 

"Sucks to be you," said a clerk as I entered the elevator and headed to
the top floor. 

As the elevator doors opened, Whipschmear's secretary motioned that I
should go right in. "He's in a bad mood," she whispered as I passed 
her. 

"Yeah, well so am..." 

"Sweetwalker! Get in here!" shouted a voice from the other side of the
door. Above it was another security camera pointed directly at me. 

'Must be some kind of voyeur...' I thought as I entered. 

"Sit down, Sweetwalker," he said. 

As I sat across from him at his desk, I noticed a bank of video monitors
that showed various areas of the building including a few employee 
restrooms. A woman was clearly visible in a stall. 'Yep, he's a 
voyeur...' 

"How long have you been with the company, Sweetwalker?" he asked,
turning the monitor with the woman away from my vision. 

"Twenty one years, Sir," I replied proudly. 

"And what is your position here?" 


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