|Flamingo Attacks Human! (standard:humor, 798 words)
|Author: Tony Dungate
|Added: Jun 14 2008
|Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
|What seems like a harmless accident turns out to be a well thought out plan to intentionally attack humans by flamingos.
Well, it seems I have another story to tell. This one concerns attacks by a red flamingo here in the building. There is an aisle way that runs from the elevator doorway to my desk. When you first walk into this aisle, there are two red metal flamingos, one on each side. They seem harmless enough, but I kept knocking them off of the baffle, or so I thought. One day I was walking by and knocked off the flamingo. Careless me right! At that time I mentioned to the person who sat next to them that I need to learn to walk down an aisle. Well the next day I get off of the elevator determined to not knock off a flamingo. I turned the corner, lined myself up, and walked right down the middle of the aisle. As I am walking in the middle at least three foot clear on both sides, I knock a flamingo again! I was flabbergasted. How could I have knocked one off again? As I am picking the flamingo up again, my co-worker Cindy peeks around her baffle. She says, “did it again, didn't you.” I said, “I don't understand how, I was clear on each side by about three feet!” She said that the same thing had happened to her on her way in. As we talked some more, Cindy mentioned that she had a relative who had used a Kitty Cam to keep any eye on her babysitter and wondered if we should set one up so we could see what was happening. The next day I got off of the elevator again but this time took the long way around. After dropping my things off at my desk, I went over to Cindy's desk. She had already set up the Kitty Cam. It was set up on the top off of her monitor with a clear view of the aisle way and the two flamingos. We agreed it was time for me to try and walk through Flamingo Alley. I went around the back way and walked up to the elevator doorway out of sight of the flamingos. I had taken off my coat and had dropped my knapsack at my desk so that I didn't have anything bulky to get caught. I entered Flamingo Alley and started to walk by the flamingos doing a check from side to side. I could see both flamingos hanging on each side of me. As I thought I was free and clear. I felt a hook on my shirt and next thing a flamingo drops to the ground. I couldn't believe it! Well I picked up the flamingo and set it back up on the baffle. Then I went over to Cindy's desk which was two desks past the flamingos at the end of Flamingo Alley. Cindy had a look of utter shock on her face. She had just finished hooking the Kitty Cam with a USB cable to her desktop. I asked her, “what's wrong, what did you see?” She grabbed her mouse, scrolled around her screen and setup Windows Media Player to play. “Watch this” she said as she clicked on the play button. As the video started, you could see down Flamingo Alley. A few second later, I walk around the corner, stepped up to and a little past the flamingos. You could see me look to each side checking my distance from the baffles, and then it happened! Out of the side of the screen, one of the flamingos jumped off of the wall, unassisted, and grabbed my shirt! I couldn't believe what I was seeing! Cindy and I looked at each other in utter shock. The flamingo jumped off of the wall and attacked me! What was going on? Within the past month I had had a rabbit leave a written note for me to type up and now I had flamingos consciously attacking me. Am I developing a hidden talent or skill that I can somehow reach out and relate or communicate with animals or seemingly inanimate objects? I thanked Cindy for her help with the Kitty Cam and asked her send me a copy of the video. That same day, I sent a copy of the video to security and asked them to deal with the situation. I am happy to report that the flamingos were taken out in high-security cages and delivered to the federal government where they are undergoing extensive testing to determine the origin of their consciousness to see if there is an alien connection to them. We now can safely walk down the aisle since there only exists paper cutouts celebrating St. Patrick's Day. Is it really safe out there? If anything odd happens again, I will post an update. Tweet
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