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Boomerang Johnson - Pimp and Hustler (standard:humor, 1074 words)
Author: JimLawAdded: Apr 09 2001Views/Reads: 4006/5Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
**this story contains adult themes and violence** However it is a humerous account of an incredible pimp.

One dark night in NYC I set up a new customer for a 'date' with my
chunky fat-ass hooker Barbie. He had actually pointed her out, he had 
picked Barbie himself.  I was confused that he didn't want to pick a 
prettier girl from my top-ten selection, but rather that he chose one 
of my juiciest ho's. 

He took my Barbie home to his 'slick-rick' pimped out gangsta pad, and
then brought her back to me a day later.  I usually would have busted 
his ass for holding one of my ho's out all night.  If customers don't 
return my girls when their time is up it prevents me from earning.  I 
would normally make him pay huge cash money for a late fee but this guy 
seemed pretty strong and definately tough enough to beat my pretty ass 
to the ground.  Plus Barbie rarely was chosen for "hookups" anymore. 
She had grown much bigger than when she had started originally.  When 
she first started walking the avenue just 3 years ago, I had a waiting 
list for this big-tittie ho.  The money had gone to her stomach and her 
legs though, now in the form of fatness.  I assumed that she recently 
had a small addiction to ice cream and twinkies. 

Well this guy had exercised Barbie by riding her so much that night,
that when they returned the next day to my street corner hideout, 
Barbie was thin again.  He told me that he had enjoyed her, and that 
later this evening he would need a different girl.  Barbie had been 
transformed and this man had a thing for chunky ho's.  He asked me if I 
could provide him with a hooker to bang.  I told him that I had a full 
selection of women ranging in all sizes. 

After he left I spent the whole afternoon looking for all the chunky
blubber-faced sluts that I had turned down that month.  They were head 
over heels for the idea that they might finally get onto my "A-list." 
My "gang-of-whores" list was world famous.  The girls were even happier 
that they might be slimmed down thinner than ever.  I made a list of 
their names for this sexual "exercise-machine" customer. 

When he slowed his black beemer on my block later that night this crazy
bastard picked another fattie-slut-ho and brought her home with him. 
Right there on the street he threw her in his ride just like a pimp and 
the next morning he kicked her out the passenger door with a smile on 
his face.  She was thin like a totally new babe the next morning. Sara, 
the chick he had rocked all that night walked into the pimp 
headquarters around 11 and I hardly recognized her.  She was even 
better looking that morning than she had been a year and a half ago 
when I first took her aboard my crew. 

The next afternoon I met this guy out at my favorite bar to talk with
him.  We drank shots of ten-dollar whiskey.  While we were there he 
told me his secrets of the bedroom. I took one of those fat-bastard 
sluts home with me that very same night, and I cooked that baby down to 
a size 4.  I was amazed. I had that girl working for her money.  And I 
had her losing pounds by the hour.  When I was done I rested my pud on 
an ice pack, and she sat her cunt in the tub to put out the fire in her 

Together we redeveloped the pimpin game that year.  We changed the face
of the game. I took sloppy plump ho's and transformed them into the 
silky sexy ho's that men dream about. They were slim, athletic, and 
sexually hungry when my partner and I were through. It was pimp magic 
and we had the secret all to ourselves.  We got rich fast with a full 
crew of sexy whores to sell. 

That summer my partner died. When they gave him his autopsy to check to
see what killed him, all they found in his dirty spiderman underoos was 
a shredded pud, bleeding away his last drops of life.  He had sexually 
torn out the life from within his manhood. 

I took a year off after that.  I kicked my high-lifestyle out in the
bahamas for a whole year.  I drank booze and slept with babes from the 
warm climate.  But something was missing.  And then I learned that 
pimpin was my life.  I had to go back to the city. The island girls 
were mad when I told them I was leaving.  I told them that one day I 
would return. 

I went back to the dirty streets of New York to get my money. All my old
ho's came back to me, we put the gang back together.  That same day 
that I returned one of my classy bitches told me some bad news. My 
trashiest "hard-leg" ho had revealed the secret of making chubby ho's 
into thin ho's. She had given away the secret to some other Pimp while 
I was away. This batch had given away my whole game. 

I had to kill them both.  I grabbed my gun.  I started looking for these
two mother fuckers. I found the ho down at her old hooker "station," 
the parking lot near the super market, the market over on Washington 
Boulevard with the secret undergroud casino.  I grabbed that bitch, I 
told her that she was trash, and I sent her up the river after she told 
me where this pimp was living.  He had a little hooker factory on the 
east side of the Bronx.  I went up there and cut the ball sack off this 
slick rick.  I fed those balls to him, I made him eat the testicle 

I fixed up my old Road Hogg Caddy and went back to the pimpin game, the
only game I was ever good at. I retired my gat back to the holster 
under the front seat.  And I had some cop friends take care of the 
bodies.  I gave them coupons for my whores - enough for the whole year 
- when they were through with their cleanup. 

I was back in the game, bustin ho's like the old days.  I got rich, and
I built a library and named it after the greatest pimp of them all, me. 
Boomerang Johnson. 


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