Mitch McConnell (standard:other, 2684 words)
Author: Chris Morris	Added: Nov 05 2000	Views/Reads: 3630/2149	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
My first and so-far only story! A whacky tale about my life with Mitch McConnell

PREFACE 

This is a work written in chunks over the period of a few years about a
gentle man named Mitch McConnell.  Although it is written in the first 
person, the first person character is not necessarily the author.  Or 
perhaps it is.  It doesn't really matter though.  I, as the author, do 
not actually know someone named Mitch McConnell, or anyone resembling 
him.  At least no one comes to mind.  But Mitch knows me quite well. 
Biblically. 

ADVENTURES IN A LAND - Chapter 1 

Mitch McConnell was on his way to see someone’s girlfriend when he ran
in to his father.  For lunch, he ate a Tofu Dog with ketchup & mustard. 
 His mother had a hair appointment with the banker the week before and 
she was about ready to call it a day and go to sleep.  Mr. Greene had 
been standing still in one spot for an awful long time and had 
forgotten what it was like to close his eyes. 

Mitch’s evolution consisted of sustaining his stronghold and looking out
over Lake Erie.  Mr. Greene’s 3:00 appointment had long seemed 
nauseating, but to the banker it was heavenly. 

After I conferred with Mr. Baker on the issue, things looked promising
and I believed everything was going to work out.  I took my own advice 
and stayed secretly hidden in a cloud of haze above the fog.  Mitch 
crawled out of his corner (which he reserved especially for crying) and 
kept watch on Mr. Baker because he was not deemed trustworthy by the 
folks at the coffeeshop.  Mr. Baker slowly became aware of Mitch’s 
presence and proceeded to remain nameless in the eyes of Mr. Greene. 

Mr. & Mrs. McConnell stood at the shoreline of Lake Ontario hoping to
catch a glimpse of Mitch over at Lake Erie.  Back at the bank, the 
banker continued his calisthenics without saying a single word to me. 

Mitch had almost met his match when he sat at a table with his parents,
next to a table with Mr. Greene & and Mr. Baker, in the coffeeshop 
owned by myself where I currently employ the banker.  The confrontation 
among the eight of us, including the very thought that the Lakes Erie 
and Ontario are not so far away, gave us all the desire to have a chat 
with someone’s girlfriend and try to figure out what the big deal is. 

I closed the shop that night thinking that tomorrow is another day, and
I was never really interested in hearing of Mr. Greene’s love affair. 

MITCH’S MUFFINS - Chapter 2 

Mitch was fond of muffins.  He would often pop into my coffeeshop
downtown in the morning and have a blueberry or cranberry muffin for 
breakfast.  He’d tell anyone would who would pretend to listen about 
how much he missed living with his parents because his Mom would bake 
muffins Sunday morning so they’d be nice and warm when he woke up for 
breakfast. 

His friend Mr. Baker would do his banking just down the road from where
I built the shop.  Days after his doctor’s appointment, he still 
complained of inhumane ways in which frogs were captured for use by 
high school biology classes.  I stood, staring vacantly at him as I 
gathered my thoughts on my upcoming doctor’s appointment.  I was afraid 
the results would be bad and I’d never be able to return to my old self 
again.  The very thought that someone might be so vain disturbed me 
enough to close the shop early and go to bed late.  I would wait up 
long enough to watch my eyes close and give my neighbour assistance 
with keeping her children in line. 

Mr. & Mrs. Connell made their way to work Sunday morning only to realize
that they had the wrong address and would need to return for more abuse 
later in the week.  Mr. Greene and the banker discovered the potential 
trouble and made a point not to get involved with anyone. 

After work Mr. & Mrs. McConnell sat idly in my coffeeshop waiting for
something to happen.  With the bankers assistance I assured myself that 
everything was okay and someone’s girlfriend was on the way to take 
care of the matter at hand. 



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