The long road from hell (standard:adventure, 5470 words)
Author: Freya Love	Added: Oct 23 2004	Views/Reads: 3217/2094	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
A journey of Peta. Lost in the city.

The long road from Hell 

"To be forgotten is worse then death." Freya/Final Fantasy 9 

To Kevin, in my heart I wish we can be brought back together, and have a
happy life together. Whatever happens, I want you to know I will always 
love you. I will never forget you. I gave you my heart. I hope you will 
always remember me. 

I hate myself, and I want to die 

Hi, my name is Peta. I'd like to share an experience that opened my eyes
and changed my life forever. It begins one night in September. I go to 
Spring Hill Mental Health Center for 2 weeks. I go there because I 
tried to kill myself. I took a bottle of pain pills and cut my arm with 
a hunting knife. I was so high off the pills I felt no pain when I was 
cutting myself. So I tried cutting deeper, I was thinking if I felt 
pain I would feel better. Eric was not there when I was doing this. 
Later he walked in. Then apart of me wanted to stay alive. So I cried 
for him. Eric came in the bathroom, he seen that I cut myself. I told 
him that I took a bottle of pain pills too. 

So Eric rushed me to the hospital. Where the doctor hooked me to an IV
bag, and had me drink some charcoal drink to get the pills out of my 
system. Eric had to leave, because he had to get up early to go to 
work. The nurses there were great. They kept on checking on me to make 
sure I was ok. I slept for awhile. 

When I woke up, a cop was there to escort me to the Centers in Daytona.
Which was pure hell. The food was nasty, I slept on a mattress on the 
cold hard floor, on top of that I was scared to death. The nurses 
sucked. They were no help at all. All they cared about was talking on 
the phone and joking with each other. 

I was so happy when I was told I was getting transferred to Spring Hill.
I was so happy to get out of the hell hole. A pretty cool guy, Bud and 
I were transferred to Spring Hill by a nurse. It took a hour and a half 
to get there. I was given an Ativan earlier. So I slept the whole way 
there. When we entered Spring Hill the first thing we had to do was 
fill out paper work. After we filled out the paperwork. There was two 
sweet ladies that helped us fill out the paper work. They let us step 
outside and smoke a cigarette. I needed that, I was at the Centers for 
a day and a half. There was no smoking allowed there. So the first 
cigarette in a day and a half felt nice. We went back to the rooms we 
filled our paper work at. Bud and I had to wait for the nurses to set 
rooms up for us. While we were waiting an assistant brought us dinner. 
By the time we were done eating our rooms were ready. 

I need a friend 

The first people I start talking to are Tom, James, Winston. They are
pretty cool. I have fun hanging out with them. Tom has a crush on me. 
He is always telling me how cute and pretty I am. I tell him I have a 
fiance. But he did not care. He tells me to leave him, and he will take 
care of me. One day I give him a dirty look, because he starts to back 
off with flirting with me. He realizes I am loyal to Eric, and becomes 
happy with just being friends. After a couple days he gets better, so 
the hospital releases him. I'm sad at first. James and Winston are 
cool, but I can barely understand the words that come out of their 
mouths. 

I feel like I had no one to talk to and joke around with, and someone
that understands me. I am wrong. I become friends with Cathy, Renee, 
Theo, Stacey, and Maxx and other people that have basically the same 
problems as I with depression and anxiety. I craw out of my shell, and 
start to speak up in group and share my feelings. It feels so good to 
open up. It is amazing, allot of people can relate with my situation. 

I just want to feel love 

I start to think about Eric and I. The little things he does in our
relationship, starts making me feel sad and unappreciated. When we 
sleep in the bed together, he sleeps with his back towards me. He 
stopped holding my hand, and he kisses me like someone kisses there 
mother. They may seem like little things to some people. But to me, 


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