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The great Thanksgiving con (standard:humor, 904 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Nov 17 2012Views/Reads: 1212/0Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Let me make it clear right up front that Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I admit I am not too fond of many holidays. Can a week go by without some holiday that shuts down everybody?

Let me make it clear right up front that Thanksgiving is one of my
favorite holidays. I admit I am not too fond of many holidays. Can a 
week go by without some holiday that shuts down everybody? 

I celebrated Veteran's Day, for example, on Sunday and the next day I
went to the bank and discovered the bank was celebrating Veteran's Day 
on Monday. Don't they know what day it is? I trust these people with my 

Of all the holidays we have, Thanksgiving is high on my list. I used to
have a high regard for my birthday but so many of them have come that I 
do not like them anymore. I am ready to cancel that holiday. My 
birthday only means I am one year older and not one whit wiser. 

I am not thinking just about the scrumptious Thanksgiving dinner. Okay,
maybe I am, a little. Down through the years, I have been great 
fraternity buddies with eating. We have bonded so great throughout the 
years that even now that bonding is beginning to show. 

I like Thanksgiving, and so I am a little confused about these Sanity
Challenged Buffoons who are allergic to the word “Thanksgiving.” They 
want to use names like, “Turkey Day,” and the latest one “T-Day.” What 
the “T” stands for is anybody's guess. I know what “D-Day” stands for 
but all the gray matter has leaked out of my skull trying to figure out 
what “T-Day” stands for. 

Given the rationality of these purveyors of insanity, I can only guess. 

Looking at what is happening to this great holiday, I have uncovered a
con so convert that most people do not know it is going on. I call it 
the great Thanksgiving con. This is especially true for those who call 
it Turkey Day. 

First off, everybody says nice things about the turkey. The more the
turkey struts, the more the compliments flow his way. What the turkey 
does not know is that when these “Turkey Day” people are looking at the 
turkey they are also licking their lips. It is not the beautiful 
feathers that interest them. It is not the way the turkey proudly 
struts back and forth. The frame these people want to see the turkey in 
is a roasting pan. 

They want to get rid of all those feathers that the turkey is so proud
of and strip him bare so that he fits nicely in the roasting pan. 

The last few weeks of the turkey's life are rather remarkable. These
people will give the turkey everything it wants. More food than the 
turkey can gobble up. What the turkey does not know is that there is a 
destiny in store for him. With all the attention paid him, he has the 
idea that everybody appreciates him for his looks. 

If this turkey would ever spend an evening watching television with his
human host, he would gather the idea that the most important thing in 
all the world is how you look. Looking into the mirror the turkey is 
quite proud of what he sees. He assumes that what he sees looking in 
the mirror is what his human host sees when they look at him. 

How wrong can a turkey be? 

The con begins to unfold. Rumors are flying about that there is a great
banquet being prepared in his honor. Any turkey would be proud of this 
kind of development and look forward to being the guest of honor. 

In fact, as the turkey struts back-and-forth in front of his human
hosts, he hears them saying, “Won't that turkey look good at our dinner 
table?” Whose head wouldn't turn hearing this kind of a compliment? 

What the turkey does not know is that being a guest at a dinner table is
a one-time event for a creature like himself. Any turkey worth his 
feathers does not think beyond this great feast being held in his 

I can imagine the gobble back in the turkey pen with the other turkeys.
This great big, good-looking turkey, is telling all the others how 
important he is on the other side of the fence. Being the kind of 
turkey that he is, his gobble wins over the admiration of the other 

“I'm so special,” the turkey gobbles to his inferiors, “that those
humans are having a special banquet and I am the special guest of 
honor.” The rest of the turkeys are ooohing in his direction for they 
never seen anyone quite as special as this turkey. 

The fatal day arrives. People come for the turkey and the rest of the
turkeys have gathered around giving him a special turkey sendoff. They 
cannot wait to hear his report when he gets back from the special 

I say this is a con to beat all cons. Wrong messages are being sent to
the turkey population. Thinking they are the guest of honor, they turn 
out to be the main dish on the banquet table. 

This is why I am against the term “Turkey Day.” It sends the wrong
message. The focus around our table on this special occasion will not 
be the turkey but rather giving thanks to God who has been so good to 

“Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with
praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name” (Psalms 100:4 KJV). 


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