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Of Course It's Raining, I Just Washed My Car (standard:humor, 893 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Jun 30 2013Views/Reads: 1199/722Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Nobody can say I did not warn the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, for all the good my warning did. I am not one to say, "I told you so," but "I told you so."

Nobody can say I did not warn the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage,
for all the good my warning did. I am not one to say, "I told you so," 
but "I told you so." 

I swear, at times I think my wife thinks I do not want to do something
simply because I am too lazy. Nine times out of 10 it may be true, but 
what about that tenth time? 

What women need to understand is when their husband does not do
something; there may be a good, logical reason behind it. The problem 
men have is articulating their perfectly good and logical reason to 
their better half. Trust me on this one, ladies. 

There are excellent reasons your husband does not always do what you
request of him. I wish someone would explain this to my wife. It is 
just hard for us to explain it in terms women can understand. 

Last week, for example, my wife made a request of me. She said, "Honey

Whenever my wife begins a sentence with "Honey," I know I am in for a
sticky situation. 

Honey comes from bees and whenever she so addresses me, I know I be in
trouble, and you can be sure there is a stinger in it for me - 

My wife was looking out the window with her arms folded, which means she
is thinking about some job around the house for Yours Truly. Then she 
said, "Honey, don't you think you should wash the car?" 

If I live to be a hundred that thought never crossed my mind. Do you
know how much trouble it is to wash my car? 

Then, it never fails to rain right after I wash the car and have to wash
it all over again. 

That was on Tuesday and I said to my wife, "You know, Dear," whenever a
husband so addresses his wife, it always means he is trying to find 
some way out of doing her request, while making it sound like he wants 
to do it. 

I said, "You know, Dear, it's a wonderful idea but it looks like it
might rain." The key to this point is to put on a grimace and look up 
in the sky, in a thoughtful frame of mind. "Yes, I think I saw a 
raindrop. It won't be long now." 

Right here is where most men fail. Simply because the first round is
over does not mean, by any stretch of the imagination, the issue is put 
to rest. I can sum up the next move in one word - vamoose. 

In other words, disappear. Remember the old saying, "Out of sight, out
of chores"? 

Find something to get you out of the line of fire. There is always a
chance - slim though it is - the Missus will get busy with something 
else and forget. 

By Thursday, I forgot the car washing idea and was standing around our
living room looking out the window. It seemed harmless enough. 

Have you heard the old saying, "An idle husband is a wife's workhorse?" 

I heard those familiar words beginning with "Honey ..." And a streak of
panic flowed through my body, freezing up every muscle I still had. 
"Honey, our car really needs a good washing." 

Now, that was bad enough and I think I could have worked out something
else except - before I could clear my throat, she added a phrase no 
husband wants to hear. "Don't you agree?" 

If I say, "No," I am in trouble. 

If I say, "Yes," I am in trouble. 

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