|Of Course It's Raining, I Just Washed My Car (standard:humor, 893 words)|
|Author: Godspenman||Added: Jun 30 2013||Views/Reads: 1135/668||Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)|
|Nobody can say I did not warn the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, for all the good my warning did. I am not one to say, "I told you so," but "I told you so."|
Nobody can say I did not warn the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, for all the good my warning did. I am not one to say, "I told you so," but "I told you so." I swear, at times I think my wife thinks I do not want to do something simply because I am too lazy. Nine times out of 10 it may be true, but what about that tenth time? What women need to understand is when their husband does not do something; there may be a good, logical reason behind it. The problem men have is articulating their perfectly good and logical reason to their better half. Trust me on this one, ladies. There are excellent reasons your husband does not always do what you request of him. I wish someone would explain this to my wife. It is just hard for us to explain it in terms women can understand. Last week, for example, my wife made a request of me. She said, "Honey ..." Whenever my wife begins a sentence with "Honey," I know I am in for a sticky situation. Honey comes from bees and whenever she so addresses me, I know I be in trouble, and you can be sure there is a stinger in it for me - somewhere. My wife was looking out the window with her arms folded, which means she is thinking about some job around the house for Yours Truly. Then she said, "Honey, don't you think you should wash the car?" If I live to be a hundred that thought never crossed my mind. Do you know how much trouble it is to wash my car? Then, it never fails to rain right after I wash the car and have to wash it all over again. That was on Tuesday and I said to my wife, "You know, Dear," whenever a husband so addresses his wife, it always means he is trying to find some way out of doing her request, while making it sound like he wants to do it. I said, "You know, Dear, it's a wonderful idea but it looks like it might rain." The key to this point is to put on a grimace and look up in the sky, in a thoughtful frame of mind. "Yes, I think I saw a raindrop. It won't be long now." Right here is where most men fail. Simply because the first round is over does not mean, by any stretch of the imagination, the issue is put to rest. I can sum up the next move in one word - vamoose. In other words, disappear. Remember the old saying, "Out of sight, out of chores"? Find something to get you out of the line of fire. There is always a chance - slim though it is - the Missus will get busy with something else and forget. By Thursday, I forgot the car washing idea and was standing around our living room looking out the window. It seemed harmless enough. Have you heard the old saying, "An idle husband is a wife's workhorse?" I heard those familiar words beginning with "Honey ..." And a streak of panic flowed through my body, freezing up every muscle I still had. "Honey, our car really needs a good washing." Now, that was bad enough and I think I could have worked out something else except - before I could clear my throat, she added a phrase no husband wants to hear. "Don't you agree?" If I say, "No," I am in trouble. If I say, "Yes," I am in trouble. Click here to read the rest of this story (43 more lines)
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