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I wish we’d all be California foils (standard:humor, 901 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Sep 01 2013Views/Reads: 2965/674Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
It was my pleasure to take my first trip to California. I heard many rumors about California and particularly the people there.

It was my pleasure to take my first trip to California. I heard many
rumors about California and particularly the people there. 

Overall, my trip was a blessing and the people I met were truly

I did, however, have an illusion of California burst. You know how it
is, you hear a lot about something or someone and much of what you hear 
you later find out is not true. 

One of the first things I discovered when I got to California was that
they are not as progressive as I was led to believe. Everybody thinks 
California is way ahead of the rest of the country. I found it not to 
be so. 

Coming to California from Florida I discovered California is at least
three hours behind Florida. This came as a shock to me. I could not 
believe people in Florida were ahead of people in California in 
anything. Truth cannot be denied when faced boldly. 

Also, I heard interesting rumors about the LA Freeway. Believe me, it is
really nothing to boast about. The speed limit sign along the freeway 
said 65 mph. I guess that represents some of the comedy Hollywood is 
known for. Driving on the freeway, when I was moving, I almost hit 15 
mph. For a state so concerned about global warming, they allow their 
cars to sit on the freeway doing nothing but blowing exhaust into the 

In the state of Florida, an old geezer will not get in his car unless he
can hit 70 mph, along with other things. 

I must admit those California people on the LA Freeway were very
friendly indeed and much to my surprise, quite religious. All of them 
were greeting me in a very husky voice and then pointing me towards 
heaven. They actually were encouraging me to go to heaven. 

Of course, in all the anxiety of the LA Freeway, they got their fingers
mixed up and instead of using the index finger, used another finger. 
That is beside the point. The important thing is they wanted me to go 
to heaven. Of course, as I think of it now, maybe they wanted me to go 
to heaven at that moment! 

During my visit, friends took me to several Mexican restaurants. For the
first time in my life, I had what is called a taco. How they come up 
with these names I will never know. 

An interesting thing about a taco is that whoever prepares it, does not
actually prepare it. When my taco came, it was all over my plate. There 
were little piles of this ingredient and that ingredient and then 
something folded up on my plate, which was the taco shell. 

What I was supposed to do was “build” my own taco. Never having done
such a thing in my life I covertly glanced around to see how my friends 
were “building” their taco. I tried to do the same. 

I got all of the ingredients on my taco shell, rolled it up, folded it
and then looked around to see what I was supposed to do next. Is this 
finger food? Should I be using a fork or a spoon? 

I noticed everybody at the table picked up their taco as though it was
finger food or maybe a sandwich. Actually, I am not sure what a taco 
really is. Therefore, not to be the odd guy at the table I picked up my 
taco and took the first bite. 

The taco I built was rather cantankerous. As soon as I bit it, all the
ingredients in that taco deserted the taco shell and went back to the 
plate. Now what was I supposed to do? As discreetly as possible, one of 
my friends at the table slipped me a fork. I do not know if you are 
supposed to eat a taco with a fork, but I did, so arrest me! 

On my last day, I went to my hotel front desk to see if I could find
another restaurant in the area for my last meal in California. 

I told the person at the front desk that I had eaten at some Mexican
restaurants and was wondering if she could recommend a non-Mexican 

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