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Does God Expect Me to Pray For Broccoli (standard:humor, 908 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Nov 02 2013Views/Reads: 1283/621Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
No prayer is worth praying if it is prayed outside of that righteous zone.

For some inexplicable reason, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage is
under the impression that my favorite hobby is flying kites. I have no 
idea where she got that notion. Last Thursday, for example, she said to 
me in one of her sterner voices, “Why don't you just go and fly a 

The joke, of course, is on her.  Ha! That is not my hobby and I have not
flown a kite since I was nine years old when my mother made the same 
request. Who does she think I am? Benjamin Franklin? If she actually 
knew what my hobby was, I wonder if she would be so anxious for me to 
indulge. Some secrets are worth keeping. 

Two things guide me in my pursuit of life. 

I never fool around with fate and I never second-guess the Gracious
Mistress of the Parsonage. 

She suggested on Friday evening that we go out for supper. When younger
I would have tried to figure out if she was up to something or if I was 
in some trouble, but not anymore. One of the great advantages of 
growing older is shedding the necessity of trying to figure everything 

Life has been much easier since I have started to live in the moment. So
much in life is unexplainable that I have stopped wasting my time 
trying to explain it. Moreover, the greatest thing is, I am not under 
any pressure to understand everything or figure anything out, 
especially when it comes to the female side of the matrimonial 
equation. Let the mystery of romance do its thing. 

Just one thing, in spite of everything, still bothers me. I know it may
be a minor matter to most people, but for me it is important. Do I have 
to pray for everything? 

On Friday, my wife and I made our way to our favorite restaurant and to
our great delight, our favorite waitress was on duty and we requested 
her table. Stay with a sure thing, I always say. 

After our first cup of coffee, we were ready to contemplate our order.
It is not good to order your meal right away; get settled in your seat, 
have a good cup of coffee and then decide on the meal for the evening. 
I chose the delicious meatloaf dinner while my “better half” ordered 
the pot roast. Both came with what our waitress called a vegetable 

Let it be known that a “vegetable medley” was not harmonious with my
primeval appetite.  With an air of masculine sophistication, I ordered 
the vegetable of the day. It was too lovely of an evening to get hung 
up on such small matters. After all, I was unwinding and did not need 
to put my little gray cells in high gear. Taking our order, our 
waitress disappeared into the kitchen while we sat back to enjoy each 
other's society while our meal was being prepared. Luxury, in my book, 
is where you find it. 

After a busy week in the church, it is always beneficial to settle back
and relax. Nothing is more important than getting balance in life and 
keeping it. 

Before we knew it, the waitress brought our meals and set them before
us. Much to my surprise, the vegetable of the day was broccoli. The 
waitress quickly disappeared amidst some unsuccessful muffled giggling 
from across the table. Gaining some measure of composure, my wife 
requested I offer the prayer for the meal. 

My question: does God really expect me to pray for broccoli? 

I was reminded of an incident with my good friend and spiritual mentor,
the Rev. Frank Simmons. After a Sunday morning service, a woman 
approached Frank with a simple request. 

“Oh, Brother Simmons,” she said in a dramatic fashion that always
irritated Frank, “would you pray that my daughter gets married?” 

Without giving her request any thought, he replied in the negative. The
thing I always liked about good ole Brother Simmons was that he was 

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