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The switch on my behind saved time (standard:humor, 909 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Jun 08 2014Views/Reads: 841/480Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
My father was a rather reserved person. He did not have much to say except when he was talking about his hunting or fishing adventures, and to hear from him. It was always an adventure. When he got started on one of his stories, you better just sit back a
 



My father was a rather reserved person. He did not have much to say
except when he was talking about his hunting or fishing adventures, and 
to hear from him. It was always an adventure. When he got started on 
one of his stories, you better just sit back and forget about 
everything else. 

Outside of that, he was rather quiet and reserved and did not have much
to say. 

I always liked that about him for a variety of reasons. I think I take
after him in that regard. I just do not have time to hear somebody 
bloviate on something I am not interested in. 

For one, my father had no time at all for politics. I am not sure if he
was a Republican or Democrat, but I knew he voted every election. 

“Son,” he often said, “you don't have to take sides one way or the
other. When I'm with a Democrat, I talk Democrat and when I'm with a 
Republican, I talk Republican. The only thing that matters is what I do 
when I get in that voting booth.” 

This attitude of his, since Father's Day is coming up, was something
that made a deep impression upon me. Following his counsel has kept me 
out of quite a few battles throughout the years, especially when I got 
married. 

I can never remember my father arguing with my mother. Now, my mother
argued with my father, but he never reciprocated. “If you want a happy 
home,” he once advised, “make sure everybody in the home was happy 
particularly the one you married.” 

That has helped me through many sticky situations for which I am
eternally grateful. 

Another bit of advice he gave me was simply that you do not have to
fight every battle. “Only fight those battles,” he said with a sly 
smirk on his face, “that you know you can win.” 

I mentioned that he was rather reserved in his speaking, but there was
one area where he was profusely proactive. That was in the area of 
discipline, especially directed toward me. 

My father was not much different from any of the father's during that
time and they all believed in the biblical admonition, “Spare the rod 
and spoil the child.” These fathers were united in making sure none of 
their children would be spoiled. 

One rule we had in the house that I did not fully agree with was, if you
got a spanking in school (and in those days we got spankings in school) 
you got a spanking at home. Talk about double dipping! 

The assumption was that the teacher was right and that the one receiving
the spanking was wrong. Back then, 99.9% of the time that was true. The 
spanker was in charge, the spankee took it like a man and you know 
where. 

I spent 12 years in the public education system and during that time, my
teacher was never wrong. I will not divulge how many times I was wrong, 
that is between me and the area I sit on. 

I clearly remember that my teachers back then had what was called “the
Hickory stick.” And boy did those teachers know how to use that Hickory 
stick and where it would do the most good. 

My father did not have a Hickory stick as such. Hanging on the wall in
the kitchen was an old wooden paddle engraved with, “I need thee every 
hour.” I am surprised that that one wooden paddle lasted during my 
entire childhood. 

I made one mistake during those childhood days. I was going through a
period where the paddle and my bottom were close friends. I was getting 
a little weary of such friendship and decided I would do something 
about it. 

My father had gone to work early that day, as I remember it now, and I


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