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The Early Turkey Gets the Gobble (standard:humor, 910 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Nov 23 2014Views/Reads: 788/540Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Good intentions have never taken away the sting of doing something wrong, especially when you are caught.

I awoke a little groggy and made my way to the kitchen only to be
confronted by the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. There are times 
to confront her and then there are times to run the other way. Being in 
such a groggy state of affairs, I was not really thinking. 

“Here is your coffee and breakfast,” she said rather sternly, “go to
your study, eat this and stay out of the kitchen.” 

As usual, I did what I was told, collected my breakfast and headed for
my study. As I sat in my chair and started consuming my breakfast, I 
suddenly noticed I was surrounded with an overpowering aroma I knew was 
not my breakfast. Until I have had my first cup of coffee in the 
morning, I am really not sure that it is morning. 

As the little grey cells begin to wake up after a half a cup of coffee,
it dawned on me that the aroma was a familiar aroma but I just could 
not place it. Then it hit me. It was Thanksgiving and my wife was 
preparing the family Thanksgiving dinner. If this Thanksgiving 
preparation time was like all the times before, I needed to avoid the 
kitchen area as much as possible. 

Just saying. 

When she is in her family Thanksgiving turkey-roasting mode, I need to
stay out of her way. This is an important history lesson for me unless 
I want to be history. 

Then she poked her head through the doorway and said, “I have to go for
several hours, I do not want you to go to the kitchen.” 

“What if I need another cup of coffee?” 

“OK, but that's it. Don't get anywhere near the turkey. Understand?” 

I understood, at least I thought I understood. I have been married long
enough to know not to take anything for granted when instructions are 
coming from your celebrated spouse. I was going to stand up and salute, 
but she disappeared before I could get into action. 

Everything went well for the first half hour. Then I noticed my coffee
cup was empty and I needed to refill it. I am at the stage of life 
where I cannot do anything without my coffee. I am not addicted to it, 
but I think it just might be addicted to me. I cannot afford a 
psychiatrist to straighten me out on that one. 

I want everybody to know, my intentions were good. I was going to go
into the kitchen and get a refill on my coffee and then come back to my 
study and resume the project I was working on. Anyway, that was the 

Something happened as I poured my coffee. I smelled the most wonderful
aroma in the world. I should have stopped myself when I had the 
strength, but I did not. I looked in the direction the aroma was coming 
and there it was. 

One of the most scrumptious looking roast turkeys I have seen in my
life. There it was on the counter waiting for the family to assemble 
and then dig in. 

I can identify with that person who said that the only thing they cannot
resist is temptation. I guess it all determines on your definition of 

There it was in all of its glory. The smell was just overwhelming. I
thought that it would not harm anything if I just went over and had a 
closer look at that magnificent delicacy. It just looked so good. 

I then began thinking to myself, I always get in trouble when I think to
myself, what harm would it be if I just tasted a wee bit of that 
turkey? After all, there was plenty of turkey for everyone. 

I pulled off a little sliver of the turkey and examine it rather
carefully and then popped it in my mouth. Oh, did my taste buds dance 
for joy. I was about ready to turn around, get my coffee and resume my 
project in my office when the taste buds clamored for just one more 

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