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What It Was, Was Fruitcake (standard:humor, 910 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Dec 28 2014Views/Reads: 787/575Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
The period between November 1 and January 1 happens to be my favorite time frame. Oh yes, there is the idea of Christmas and Christmas presents and all of that. I certainly enjoy Christmas with my family and friends.

The period between November 1 and January 1 happens to be my favorite
time frame. Oh yes, there is the idea of Christmas and Christmas 
presents and all of that. I certainly enjoy Christmas with my family 
and friends. 

As the oldest person in my family, (I will never mention aloud that the
Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage is a wee bit older than myself), it 
is my duty to pay for all of these Christmas presents. By the time 
January 1 rolls around, I am just about broke. 

What good is money if you can't spend it on your favorite people in all
of the world? I won't say that my family is the best people in all of 
the world, although it is true, I just won't say it aloud. 

What I do like about this period of the year are the delicacies of the
season. It is the time of the year to splurge on the finer elements of 
life. By that, I mean food. I don't think it's possible to get too much 
food during this time of the year. 

My wife is infamous for looking at me and saying, “Don't you think
you've had enough?” Being married as long as I have I only allow her to 
say, “Don't you think...” And I stop her right there, shake my head 
vigorously and say, “No I don't think. Tis the season not to think.” 
And I'm not bragging or anything, but when it comes to not thinking I 
have perfected the art. 

I have one rule when it comes to this time of the year. Vegetables are
completely off my diet. All year long my wife force feeds these 
wretched vegetables on me as though it was good for my health. The only 
thing good for my health is to eat them so that she doesn't badger me 
as much as she can. But vegetables? At Christmas time? 

This time of the year is the time for me to exploit the delicious
delicacies of the season. I can't think of any dessert at this time of 
the year that I don't indulge in and do it right smartly. Whenever I'm 
invited to a party, I always manage to bring some kind of dessert. And 
I don't bring the dessert for the host. I bring the dessert for me. 
When you are at a party, it is not polite not to eat the dessert. And I 
want to be as polite as I can along this line. 

It was a couple days before Christmas when I realized something rather
strange. Of course, being who I am thinking about something strange 
comes rather normal. But this was something a little different. 

I turned to my wife and said, “Have you noticed something absent this
year during the Christmas season?” 

“Vegetables?” She said somewhat sarcastically. 

“No, something else.” 

Then I explained what I have not seen this holiday season. They must be
around, but I have not run into any this year. 

What I have missed this year is the good old fashion Fruitcake. What is
the Christmas season without Fruitcake? 

There was a time when Fruitcake was everywhere you looked and you
couldn't get away from it. Of course, I never tried to get away from 
Fruitcake. Being the nut that I am, I absolutely love Fruitcake. 

I know many people make fun of this holiday delicacy. I'm not one of
them. I don't make fun of that which has some special meaning. Only 
during the holiday season can you get this wonderful, delightful 

Just think about it for a minute. On the one hand, you have “fruit,” and
on the other hand, you have “cake.” What two things could merge in such 
a harmonious marriage of deliciousness? 

The goodness of the fruit cancels out the badness of the cake. 

Now when I say badness of the cake, I'm only quoting my wife. I have
never seen a cake that was bad, except the one that I can't eat. Cake 
is the one thing that makes a gathering worth gathering. 

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