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Whatever Happened to an Old-Fashioned Handshake? (standard:humor, 901 words)
Author: GodspenmanAdded: Jan 11 2015Views/Reads: 863/600Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
I must confess I do have some old-fashioned biases. I would be the first to admit I’m not up to date on the latest fad or trend.

I must confess I do have some old-fashioned biases. I would be the first
to admit I'm not up to date on the latest fad or trend. 

I come from that era that believed the well-dressed man is one that
doesn't stand out from everybody else. I've tried to keep to that all 
these years. I certainly don't want to stand out and have people 
recognize me or point their finger at me and whispered to each other. 

For years, I've been very careful about that. Now, it seems that because
I try to dress like a well-dressed man and not stand out I am in fact 
standing out. Nobody, except me and two other people, really care about 
being well-dressed. 

This has never been an issue with me and it even now is not an issue.
But reflecting on the past year and looking forward to the year before 
me, I have to take some calculations. According to my calculation, I no 
longer fit into that “well-dressed man” category, because the term 
“well-dressed man” does not mean what it used to mean. 

I hate it when something outlasts its definition. 

To be a well-dressed man today, according to the latest fads and trends
I have noticed, I need to throw away my belt and let my trousers drop 
all the way down to my knees. 

Let me go on record as saying, never in a million years will that

Then there is the issue about a necktie. Am I the last person on planet
earth wearing a necktie? 

Very few people today know how to tie a necktie. Well, I do and I will
until they put me in a casket and then I hope I'm still wearing a tie. 
So if you come to my funeral and look at me in the casket and I'm not 
wearing a tie, complain to someone for me. 

The latest trends and fads have no interest to me whatsoever. 

This came to my attention recently when I had to sign some legal papers
for something to do with the church. I had to sign here, initial there, 
sign the next page, initial three pages and it went on and on until I 
ran out of ink. 

I'm one of those old-fashioned guys that use a fountain pen and all that
signing and initialing drained all of the ink out of my fountain pen. 
Before I finished, I was on the verge of carpal tunnel. 

I sighed rather deeply, looked at the gentleman (I think he was a
gentleman because he was dressed like a gentleman), and said kind of 
sarcastically, “Do you remember the old-fashioned handshake?” 

He looked at me without smiling and then said, “Here are some more
papers for you to sign.” 

I thought I was signing my life away, but in reality, I was just signing
my ink away. 

I do remember when a handshake really meant something. Just about
everything was sealed with a handshake and both parties were as good as 
their word. It would take a lot of undoing to undo that handshake. Now, 
you're only as good as the word on a piece of paper over your 
signature. Then, some lawyer can finagle it around to mean something 
other than what you really meant it in the first place. So what's the 
purpose of all this? 

I know you're not supposed to say this, but I will, I sure long for the
good old days when a handshake was all you needed. I get tired of the 
rigmarole passing as business these days. I get tired of paperwork 
that's piled higher than the tallest tree in the forest. 

Of course, if we go back to that handshake scenario, it will put many
lawyers out of business. What would these people do for a living? I 
have some ideas, but I'm going to keep that to myself. 

Trust has gone out of our culture today because everybody is only after

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