The Signmakers (standard:humor, 895 words)
Author: timster	Added: May 27 2015	Views/Reads: 2144/0	Story vote: 0.00 (0 votes)
Do they control us?

The Sign Makers 

Do the Sign Maker's control us? They must have quite a lucrative income.
I wonder if they are the ones down the street with the large houses. If 
I had thought about it when I was younger, I would have pointed my 
career that way.  The Sign Makers always tell us what to do, when to 
stop and go, where to go. 

I saw several signs on the way home today. One said 'Watch for Range
Cattle.' O.K. and if I see one, what am I suppose to do? I have seen 
the same sign for deer and children. There is no phone number to call. 
I think they forgot to put in on there; guess there are a few Sign 
Makers who aren't playing with the neon colors. 

'Patrolled by Aircraft' is another sign. I really do feel safer when I
see that sign. I often wonder 'What kind is it?' Is there an F-15 
soaring above to protect me? If someone cuts me off is he going to zoom 
down and blow the car off the road? I tend to think, though, it is a 
Stealth Fighter because I have never seen it. I wonder if those Sign 
Makers have a contract with the U.S Government. Does it help the pilots 
with target practice? Do the Sign Makers receive a certain amount of 
money for each car that gets blown off the road? 

I have to disagree with the one that instructs me not to 'Feed the
Bears'. I'm sorry, if a bear wants my lunch, it can have it. What am I 
going to do? 'No, you big ugly hairy thing, you can't have my tuna fish 
sandwich.' I hate to tell the Sign Makers, but that bear is much bigger 
and meaner than I am.  It seems the Sign Makers have seen way too many 
cartoons with Yogi and Booboo in them. 

Another sign casually says 'Workmen Ahead.' That's O.K., if there are
workman ahead, I should slow down. Every time I go by, though, there is 
no one working but there is a group of people on the side of the road 
drinking coffee. Looks as if it is a social gathering of some kind. 
Maybe there should be another sign for those times. 'Workman on Break', 
would probably be up more often, it would get much more use.  Maybe 
they should be on the Sign Makers payroll. 

'Slippery When Icy', really got to love that sign. When I walk to my car
in the morning and fall on my ass, think I can figure out that it is 
slippery. 'Watch for Blowing Snow' is another one that fits into that 
season. I hate to tell them this but when there is blowing snow, there 
is no way I can read their sign. Tell me, why are those signs out there 
in the summer when it is one hundred degrees? Where is the sign that 
says ‘Not so bad when dry'?  Do the Sign Makers have it so easy that 
they can just leave them there? Who did they buy off so they don't have 
to take them down or put them up? 

I have often wondered about the 'Stop' signs. Do they get an extra
amount of money for making them a perfect octagon? Is there an 
underground industry that cuts them so perfectly? Why is it that most 
of the world thinks they are suggestions anyway?  Do they have any 
influence over the Sign Makers or are they a sub-culture of the Sign 
Makers? Where is the 'Go' sign? Is that the one that says, "Go to Your 
Local Toyota Dealer for Big Savings?" If you ask me they are very 
confusing.  Then there is the ‘Yield Sign', how much am I suppose to 
give? 

This time of year in the United States, the Sign Makers are very busy,
so many signs are pounded into the ground. One will say ' A Vote for me 
is a Vote for your Kids.' Now, I don't know about you but I really 
didn't vote for my kids, they were too young. Another will say that 'He 
will Lower Taxes.' I see so many tax dollars pounded into the ground it 
seems to me that he isn't telling the truth. The truth of the matter is 
that after the election, the signs are left there. After we decide they 
aren't going anywhere, someone gets hired to remove them. Shouldn't the 
Sign Makers pay for part of that? No I suppose they are immune from 
that. 

There are even signs on cars these days. I have always thought that your
car is and always should be your sanctuary. I really don't want people 
reading my car. I saw one the other day that had two mouse ears on it. 
On the side it said 'Let us Exterminate Your Pests.' I think maybe they 
should first exterminate the car. We really don't need cars driving 
down the roads that look like Mickey Mouse. Yes, those Sign Makers have 
become very creative. 

So many signs everywhere. Some tell me how far I have to go, others tell
me how fast I can go. Some tell me where to shop or where to go on 
vacation. In retrospect, the handwriting was on the wall, I really 
should have become a Sign Maker. 


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